My feelings today

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Sandie_Cali, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. Sandie_Cali

    Sandie_Cali Well-Known Member

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    I was responding to a new found friend and felt it appropriate to share with all of my new found friends on this board who reached out to me to see how I was feeling and here goes:


    I am feeling pretty much the same emotionally, just not understanding. I had no symptoms of miscarriage and was so positive going into the scan, I was sooo looking forward to it. I was 100% sure this baby was okay.

    But then hearing the doctors words continuing to echo, "I am sorry I dont see a heart beat" just keep sounding in my head and me looking at him with disbelief and with this blank look looking at him:cry::cry:, not comprehending the language he was speaking and wanting him to look again and again, as I pleeded him to do, which he did.:cry::cry::cry: I prayed and prayed and prayed, Please see the heart please see the heart. But nothing my baby was gone.:cry::cry::cry:

    Then the DNC was scheduled, I cried all the way to the operating room and cried as they got me on the table and cried until I was asleep. I woke up feeling empty but pregancy hormones raging in my body, just not understanding!!!! Dang it:cry::cry::cry: WHY, I just want to know WHY.:cry::cry:

    I am just mentally drained, empty inside with pregnancy symptoms that continue and with a broken shattered heart and dream.

    The only thing keeping me sain right now is my 2 1/2 year old, loving me alittle extra, giving me hugs, putting her hand on my knee, looking at me in my eyes and saying "You okay?" So beautiful (I think she feels something has happened).:cry::cry::cry: I need to be strong for her and for myself. Makes me love her more than I could ever possibly think I could. :cry::cry:

    I know it will be day by day, but still hurts sooo much at this time.:cry::cry:
     
  2. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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  3. chella

    chella mummy of 3 & 1 angel x

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    Sending loadsa of :hug: xxxx
     
  4. caz81

    caz81 Well-Known Member

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  5. DiddyDons

    DiddyDons Guest

    :hugs:



    ♥Proud Mummy To Sophie, An Angel Born Perfectly
    Into Heaven! 31.01.08 ♥ :cry:

    ♥Sophie's Website♥
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    ♥Fell Pregnant With Sophie After Not Having AF for TWO Years..She's My Perfect Miracle! Diagnosed With PCOS Dec 08. Just Started Metformin-Hoping For Regular AF's
    ♥
     
  6. CarCam

    CarCam WTT after 2nd MC :(

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    I am so sorry.

    :hug:
     
  7. bigmama

    bigmama Well-Known Member

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    i'm so sorry hun :cry::cry::cry::hug::hug::hug::hugs:
     
  8. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    sorry for your loss. :hug:
     
  9. Las78

    Las78 Mum to 3 beautiful girls

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    Hun, so sorry, sending you big hugs. Little by little, day by day, the pain will ease, I know that is so hard to believe right now though - Just take good care of yourself x
     
  10. dan-o

    dan-o RMC's but mum to 3 now!

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    Sending you lots of hugs, I am feeling very similar right now, it's the worst feeling :hugs:
     
  11. jen35

    jen35 Well-Known Member

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    Hi sandie, Las is right it will take a while but the pain will ease and you will feel you can move on a little. I know its hard to believe now but trust me, it will.

    Sending you big:hug:in the meantime

    :hugs::hugs:
     

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