Sandie_Cali
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- Nov 30, 2008
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I was responding to a new found friend and felt it appropriate to share with all of my new found friends on this board who reached out to me to see how I was feeling and here goes:
I am feeling pretty much the same emotionally, just not understanding. I had no symptoms of miscarriage and was so positive going into the scan, I was sooo looking forward to it. I was 100% sure this baby was okay.
But then hearing the doctors words continuing to echo, "I am sorry I dont see a heart beat" just keep sounding in my head and me looking at him with disbelief and with this blank look looking at him
, not comprehending the language he was speaking and wanting him to look again and again, as I pleeded him to do, which he did. I prayed and prayed and prayed, Please see the heart please see the heart. But nothing my baby was gone.
Then the DNC was scheduled, I cried all the way to the operating room and cried as they got me on the table and cried until I was asleep. I woke up feeling empty but pregancy hormones raging in my body, just not understanding!!!! Dang it WHY, I just want to know WHY.
I am just mentally drained, empty inside with pregnancy symptoms that continue and with a broken shattered heart and dream.
The only thing keeping me sain right now is my 2 1/2 year old, loving me alittle extra, giving me hugs, putting her hand on my knee, looking at me in my eyes and saying "You okay?" So beautiful (I think she feels something has happened). I need to be strong for her and for myself. Makes me love her more than I could ever possibly think I could.
I know it will be day by day, but still hurts sooo much at this time.
I am feeling pretty much the same emotionally, just not understanding. I had no symptoms of miscarriage and was so positive going into the scan, I was sooo looking forward to it. I was 100% sure this baby was okay.
But then hearing the doctors words continuing to echo, "I am sorry I dont see a heart beat" just keep sounding in my head and me looking at him with disbelief and with this blank look looking at him
, not comprehending the language he was speaking and wanting him to look again and again, as I pleeded him to do, which he did. I prayed and prayed and prayed, Please see the heart please see the heart. But nothing my baby was gone.Then the DNC was scheduled, I cried all the way to the operating room and cried as they got me on the table and cried until I was asleep. I woke up feeling empty but pregancy hormones raging in my body, just not understanding!!!! Dang it
WHY, I just want to know WHY.I am just mentally drained, empty inside with pregnancy symptoms that continue and with a broken shattered heart and dream.
The only thing keeping me sain right now is my 2 1/2 year old, loving me alittle extra, giving me hugs, putting her hand on my knee, looking at me in my eyes and saying "You okay?" So beautiful (I think she feels something has happened).
I need to be strong for her and for myself. Makes me love her more than I could ever possibly think I could. I know it will be day by day, but still hurts sooo much at this time.
xxxx
