my husband is leaving me

[kate1984]

We found out a few days ago that we are expecting our 3rd baby and he doesnt want it. We have 2 boys aged 2 and 1 who he loves to bits but says he cant cope with 3rd mentally. He says im the love of his life but cant have it. If I choose to keep the baby he is going to leave me abd our boys im heartbroken

 

[lola85]

Omg! Thats pretty much blackmail! Im so sorry to read this! when did this happen?

 

[want2bemommy]

Oh honey! Maybe he's just in shock and needs some time? I'm sorry you have to deal with this

 

[m4nc3r]

No offense but if this is how he feels he should think of that before he dips the wick.
You are better off without him if he is being serious.
That being said, he is probably just upset as it is difficult raising a family especially a large one. I'm sure he will calm down once he remembers how much he loves his family really x

My OH was really upset when we found out and said he couldn't cope (as I'm a working mum and hes SAHD mostly - his job is seasonal) Everytime I tried to talk about it he just would shut down and refuse to discuss it, but he's calmed down a bit now. He's still not excited like I am, but he insisted on coming to the scan yesterday and doesn't mind me talking about what's happening etc x

 

[CharCharxxx]

:-0 that is awful, so sorry hun.. He may just be havin these emotions because it's early? So sorry again x

 

[kate1984]

Last night and today I just feel so lost. He is my first love, met at 15 fell in love at now were both 28 and like soul mates I dont understand how my perfect husband could be so cruel

 

[m4nc3r]

Last night and today I just feel so lost. He is my first love, met at 15 fell in love at now were both 28 and like soul mates I dont understand how my perfect husband could be so cruel

Have you told him that?? I'm sure you have, but the more he realises what a great couple you are, the quicker he will calm down.
Just remind him that your 3 yr old will be in nursery when this one comes along and that it won't be as hard as he probably thinks xx

Best wishes xx

 

[hels08]

he might just need time to get used to it, it can be a shock if you werent trying. where in south yorks are you, im in sunny rotherham!

 

[nanamoon]

Noooooooo! You poor love! I'm sure he just needs time,he'll have plenty of people around him pointing out what an idiot he's being! If he did leave he would soon realise just what he was losing and how precious you all were and if he didn't...well then he wasn't the man you thought he was, or the man you deserve to have x

 

[Pearls18]

Last night and today I just feel so lost. He is my first love, met at 15 fell in love at now were both 28 and like soul mates I dont understand how my perfect husband could be so cruel

Aww hun this must be so scary, I am assuming this is unplanned? I do think this is a decision you two need to make together and you shouldn’t assume anything right now, however, he is holding you with emotional blackmail which will only cause resentment. He needs to grow a pair and have a grown up conversation, you both made this happen, this isn’t your fault, you shouldn’t be left to deal with this alone.

 

[mimomma]

I'm so sorry Hopefully he comes to his senses soon.

 

[kate1984]

he might just need time to get used to it, it can be a shock if you werent trying. where in south yorks are you, im in sunny rotherham!

Im at swallownest hun x

 

[kate1984]

Thanks ladies my head is all over the place but I know I want this baby so so much

 

[Dexter274]

I'm so so sorry that your in this situation! He is being completely unreasonable and is definitely blackmailing you which is out of order.
As your husband he should be there for you for better or worse and I'm sure when the baby arrives he will no doubt feel completely different!
Good luck xxx

 

[Moom7900]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this while you're pregnant, you just don't need it!

If you're husband has always been good and reliable, I'm sure he doesn't mean what he's saying, he's most likely just panicking and shooting his mouth off out of fear - no normal man would lose the "Love of his life" and the kids he loves because a new baby is coming along. If he would actually do it, then I'd suggest he's not the man you've thought he is and that you're better off knowing that now.......don't be pressured into anything you don't want to do.........be strong, you have your 2 boys and a lovely new baby on the way who all need you, and if your husband is worthy of that title he will come round and be mortified at his behaviour. Just make sure he knows he can't say such horrendous things again :/

Good luck and keep us posted and CONGRATS on your pregnancy xxxxxxxxx

 

[Heramys]

I'm sorry you have to go through this
I'm sure he will come around. x

 

[lotuspetals]

All of these ladies have given great advice. I also think your soulmate is in deep shock and may need a moment to clear his head, so the two of you can truly have a heart to heart. My heart goes out to you, hun. I hope you both work things out before drastic measures are taken. X

 

[fairsinger]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope that, given time to think this through, he will calm down and change his mind. If he doesn't, then he will still have a responsibility to provide for the child. You didn't create the baby on your own, and he is just as responsible for it as you are. Maybe give him a little space to work through this. Hopefully he will realize all he will be giving up if he leaves.

I am really sorry you are hurting.

 

[GrowingMum]

What an awful thing for him to do. Sounds to me like he is being manipulative and trying to scare you into terminating. It makes me sick. Be strong and do what you need to do for your 3 children. Hopefully he will come around.

 

[Babylove13]

He could just be very overwhelmed with the news. There is a big possibility he will come around. But it will take him some time. He shouldn't have said those things to u too. Family is everything and u made that precious baby together .. It wasn't u doing it alone. He needs to man up and take care of all 3 of his children. I'm sorry to hear ur going thru this but I'm sure things will get better. It's just all new