My insecurities have led to me being a single mum of two..

[Alovelikexo]

😔

I'm so upset, at the beginning of mine and bumps daddies relationship he wasn't the most faithful or loyal, he had a few girls on the go and loads more he would talk to on a daily basis, sexually and romantically.

I chose to forgive him but I couldn't forget and through our whole relationship I've maybe forced him into telling me exactly who every female is etc so I know they aren't anybody with romantic or sexual history..

This has driven him to leaving me after I got a phone call this weekend from a female claiming to have been with him the last two weekends he's been away, which I ignored until today when a random message from a girl came through of nothing but a love heart..

Long story short hes left me, taken all his stuff & I know he's not coming back.. He even said he won't be coming to 12 week scan Monday, he was supposed to be watching my daughter tomorrow whilst I go for counselling about my issues.

I'm heartbroken, literally heartbroken. I've been dealing with anxiety, & severe depression for a long time now, and had a mental breakdown just before finding out about bump & this has pushed me right back over that cliff.

 

[DD80]

This wasn't your fault. You were insecure because of his actions and he was unable to deal with that and make you feel secure. If he's not doing anything bad - why are girls calling? I've been with a man like this, so I understand why you are putting this on yourself (he most likely blames you and tells you all the reasons you're being crazy), but really...REALLY...this is on him. Now that I'm with someone who understands trust and monogamy, it makes me realize even more that I was not the crazy one in my past relationship. Hopefully, you realize the soon too.

 

[Eidson23]

I'm so confused, how are these YOUR issues?! I really hope you realize that he has clearly manipulated you to believe that YOU have a problem and YOU drove him away, and I hope in time after you heal you will realize this may be a blessing in disguise. I'm sorry you're going through this, especially in early pregnancy. Good luck

 

[impatient1]

These are not your issues, he had brought tears issues too the table and of course there is going to be an issue with a girl calling and saying that. You deserve someone who is loyal to you and your children.

 

[misscyn]

I don't mean to sound harsh but he sounds like a loser. I'm sorry but a man who repeatedly cheats is not going to suddenly become monogamous. And what grown man texts and talks to other women while in a relationship? It doesn't make any sense. Why do these women have his number in the first place? He has to have given it to them. You are obviously insecure, but not for the reasons you say. Any woman would have an issue with her man receiving texts from random women, sexual in nature or not. Your insecurites are what led you to be with this guy in the first place. Anyway, hugs. I hope you can get to a place in your life where you won't allow yourself to be subjected to this kind of treatment anymore.

 

[skyesmom]

i agree with all the pps!!

this is not your anxiety, this is him being an asshole (pardon my french). anxiety stands for an irrational fear of something, and unfortunately here my dear, there is nothing irrational - you have concrete motifs to believe he has cheated on you. and actually, to leave him.

i think he did the whole "pack up and leave" thing to avoid you doing that to him.

i am sorry that you have to go through all this whilst being pregnant on top of all, but is a relationship like this really the best, healthiest thing for you? i understand you love him and want to be with the father of your children, but this is no way to treat a person, the way he is acting towards you.

here it is not about your insecurities and anxiety at all. here it's about him paying no respect to you and your relationship, while blaming it all on you.

 

[Betheney]

If he hadn't left you i would be here telling you to kick his ass to the curb. What a drop kick. He cheats on you repeatedly but then turns it around so that it's your fault for bringing it up so much? no it's his fault for repeatedly cheating on you.

 

[linz1988]

I was reading this really confused, its not your fault at all! Your not in the wrong here x its sad that hes made u question your sanity with his dirt x stay strong

 

[HopingCarter]

^^^ THIS! And I hope those X's are curse words too! He has no right. You are far too beautiful to think you deserve to be treated that way!! Please do not down yourself for someone who's not worth it. Your baby and it's health (and your DD) needs to be your first priority right now.

 

[laura109]

Hi hun. Well honestly my ex was like your bf. You deserve so much more. The reason you was paranoid and untrusting is because you had every right to be. My ex liked anything with female parts. He was a compulsive liar and he was always texting other girls. I was always getting told stories of where he had been and who he had snook to see. I had women track me down.

the fact hes punishing you for that text by leaving you when your pregnant with his baby shows what a pig he is. Im so angry for you. But lets face it with rumours about him spending time elsewhere and live hearts from other girls you have every right not too trust him

you have not messed this up. You are a smart girl who will meet someone you can trust. Do not waste your life with someone like him. Set a good example to your babies. Take a friend to the scan and let him miss out on your beautiful baby scan. Let him miss the most special moments. It will be him who regrets it and what goes aroubd comes around. Focus on you and your babies and if you ever need a chat inbox me. Im a pro.

look after yourself and no your worth xxx

 

[Rhio92]

What on earth... No no no no no. You're not the one with the issues. It's him! And he's manipulated and played you so you think it's you rather than him. I think you're very lucky he's gone, sounds like you'll be much better without the arsewipe! xxx

 

[Luvspnk31]

I agree with what EVERYONE has said!!! He's a loser . I realize that even knowing that is probably not helping you feel better, so.... You need to seek out professional help. NOT because there is something wrong with you, but because it will help you. Even if you choose to be on meds ( I'm not telling you to do that. It's personal) talk therapy, and meeting with someone will help with perspective and self esteem. I will be praying for you. I want to see you respect yourself and find someone who respects and loves you and your baby!!

 

[mammag]

It's not your insecurities hun, it's his dickheadedness, I feel so bad that you even almost feel that way. You're better off without him.

 

[Alovelikexo]

Thank you all girls for both your kind & "harsh" words.

I was so strong before this relationship, I don't know what happened but right now I'm lost in my thoughts just trying to pull through & the added sickness doesn't help.

I almost don't even know what to say so I'm gonna leave it at that for now x

 

[skyesmom]

and you will be strong again!!

there are some people who just find our weak spots and you know, press on those until even the strongest person breaks and from there it's easy to bend and manipulate here and there.

but you can go out of it. you can be yourself again.

 

[LadyHutch]

Only insecurity I see here is your willingness to take responsibility for his douchyness and to blame yourself for his being a whore.

Put the blame where it belongs...squarely on his shoulders. And move on.

 

[caz_hills]

Oh Hun please don't let him think it's your fault. He cheated, you naturally want reassurance to be with him - he has walked out and you're pregnant! He is a Wally (nice word for it!) and you deserve better, please take some help but most importantly take care of yourself x

 

[Eidson23]

I agree. You will be strong again. I'm pretty sure we've all been there. I'm 100% gay, and still allowed my ex husband to manipulate me in ways I never thought I could be. You'll be stronger in the end.

 

[laura109]

If your friend came to you with this problem who would you blame. Im sure you would want your friend to chuck him.

you are a pretty young girl. U deserve better than a relationship full of misery. It will effect your children too they will hate seeing mummy sad and stressed. There parents arguing.

if he can walk from his kids and not want too see his baby scan then he is a waste of space as a dad.

dont mean to be harsh.thank god they have a good mummy xxx

 

[Rhio92]