My mom wants to go to my appointments! Help!

[CassieSims]

Ugh, my mom has always been and is going to be with this baby a huge source of support... But she is just downright depressing! Her attitude and general sour mood just tends to bring down any semblance of a good mood.

She asked to hear the heartbeat for instance, and I of course was very excited to let her hear it and share that with her! But I was having a little trouble finding it (I was looking for 10 minutes) and so she got impatient and went to do something else.

Of course I found it when she was gone and then she was just getting bratty and didn't want to listen again. Claiming she was tired. She hasn't wanted to listen since and I keep offering because I thought that's what she wanted. Now she has the nerve to be frosty with me for offering?

I don't understand her. I honestly I don't want her to bring down my mood on the day of my appointment. How do I tell her without hurting her feelings.

 

[mcwhmm]

I don't know your situation, but I know in my situation, my mom was a HUGE support with my daughter when I was pregnant and had her. At times we really got on each other's nerves. I think it's because we both are so similar ( and stubborn ) that we just butt heads sometimes, which I think is also a normal mother daughter thing. Also, I have found with this pregnacy I am very very easily irritated, sometimes just by absolutely nothing! It does sound like your mom is being very contradicting though. Is this your first appointment?? If so perhaps tell her that you want to go to this one alone and then maybe she can go to the next one. Or invite her to this appointment and if it goes bad don't allow her to come in the future. I didn't have my mom come to any appointments except for my gender ultrasound at 20 weeks which is obviously a huge thing! Maybe invite her to that?

Side note though, you said that you heard the heartbeat? Do you have a Doppler?? If so, what brand and how early did you detect the heartbeat?? I have been looking into them and can't decide!

 

[CassieSims]

I don't have the best relationship with my mom, she's not exactly winning any awards. But thanks for the input!

Side note: I got my doppler at 8 weeks 5 days and didn't actually find the HB until 9 weeks 1 day pregnant. And I only found it then with a pillow under my hips and on a reasonably hard surface (I was on my floor because it was hot!) I got a Sonoline B off of eBay for 45$ and I am very happy with the quality! It picks up my rainbow reliably every time although now it's getting tricky as the rainbow is swimming around a lot! I'll hear it for a few moments and them the little stinker will swim out of earshot. Haha!

 

[emmi26]

Oh they soon do that on purpose lol I'm 19 weeks and the midwife will get princess 's heartbeat for a few seconds then you hear her shuffle and move out the way like go on leave me alone I swear they know lol !!
Aw hun don't let your mum get you down if you really think she will spoil your appointment could you make an excuse like she can't come to the first appt ?
And the hb thing leave it don't keep asking her if she wants to hear wait till she asks again, the hb will get much easier to find as baby gets bigger but then they still move out the way lol

Emma

 

[staybeautiful]

Ultimately you're the patient so what you say goes, and your mum has to be understanding of that. Obviously only you know what your mum is like, so if you think she is likely to react unfavourably to you telling her (not asking!) that you will be attending your appointments without her, then I'd be inclined to not tell her straight away when they are, or perhaps say that you have to go alone.

I have the same doppler! I used it from 8w with my firstborn, picked up heartbeat at 10w. It's been loaned out to family and friends and now we have it back for this bean! Going to start trying to pick up the Hb when I'm 8w again. 2 years old and going strong, best £50 I spent.

 

[Christinee]

If you are not comfortable with her going then I would just tell her you prefer to go alone. My sister-in-law wanted to go with me to my appointments.. I said yes at first but wasn't comfortable with it.. I just felt bad saying no.. well i thought about it and realized that i Need to be comfortable... not her. So I was just honest and told her i preferred to go alone.

 

[mandi21a]

Do you have a husband or partner? My mom wanted to come to my appointments and I told her I want it to be a bonding experience with my dh ... Even if he doesn't attend an appointment, she doesn't need to know that part But I let her book a private 3d ultrasound for just her and I when I'm a bit further along, so I can keep her happy too.