My mom!!!!

[xdxxtx]

Today, I was snuggling with my three older kids (4, 3, 2) and chatting with them. Now, my kids have been paying attention to my tummy lately, and they've been asking questions about babies, and I have been dodging the questions and changing the subject.

My 4-year-old started rubbing my bloated belly, and my mom said, "You know, there's a baby in there!"

What was she thinking???? When I told her I'm expecting, I VERY SPECIFICALLY told her that we wouldn't be telling the kids until after I'm about 16 weeks along. That does NOT mean she gets to tell MY kids....

So, of course, my kids start jumping around and asking when the baby will be born, they want a sister, etc.... I was just in shock at that point. I referred back to a book we bought when we were expecting our third-born, to explain what was happening to my oldest, called "What Makes a Baby"... In the book, it explains that sometimes, an embryo will turn into a baby, and sometimes, it won't. I reminded my children of that and told them that if the embryo turns into a fetus, I will tell them all about it, and we will start preparing for a baby but NOT right now, while it's still "just" an embryo. You know, I was really trying to downplay the pregnancy.

I was able to diffuse the situation a bit, but I'm still flabbergasted that my mom thought that was her duty. If something went wrong, my kids would be devastated, as they bond with their future siblings straight away and get soooo excited.

Does anyone have any tips on what they'd do/say if the kids start asking more questions? (because I know they will!) I don't wanna scare them or hurt their feelings if things don't go as planned, but I don't want to lose their trust, either. They really trust me to always tell them the truth, and now, they know I've been dodging their questions.

 

[Parkep]

Oh wow... I would be just as livid as you. She put you in such a tricky situation. I would try and answer questions as best as you can for their age. You dont need tell them everything but still answer their questions. Im sorry you are going thru this.

 

[Weebles]

Man oh man can people take liberties.. I would focus on hope if or when they ask questions. Ex: If they ask if they're having a brother or a sister you can say something like, "I hope so." Phrasing with hopeful statements instead of "yes, but..." might be a good way to answer their questions in a positive way.

 

[kirstybumx3]

Oh my goodness I'm sorry. I'd be so upset and angry!

 

[jessmke]

My sister told my niece that I was pregnant, and then I miscarried so she explained to my niece that it's like planting a garden. Sometimes when you plant a seed it grows into a plant, but sometimes even if you plant the seed it doesn't grow because it didn't get enough light and water. Sometimes when a egg is planted in a mummy's tummy it will turn into a baby, and sometimes the egg doesn't get what it needs and it doesn't turn into a baby. Don't know if that helps you or not if you end up in that situation, but my niece was pretty satisfied with that explanation.

 

[xdxxtx]

Some very good responses. Thanks!

 

[Wish85]

Did you say anything to your Mum?

 

[DobbyForever]

I'm so sorry. My mom did something similar with her friend. We agreed as a family not to tell her friends until I was 12 weeks, and next thing I know she's spilled the beans about why I can't drink to one of her friends in the middle of a party with a bunch of people I don't know. So o feel your frustration.

I feel like your reaction was perfect. Explain and defer. And it may get repetitive, but just keep doing it. Eventually the kids will stop asking or they won't hit you have a good go to response. I do that with my students a lot. It's fun because after saying it a few times the other kids start saying it lol

 

[xdxxtx]

MY mum always tells everyone she knows right away. It drives me nuts, but telling my babies is crossing the line. I reminded her that I wasn't planning on talking to the kids about it for a while, but she thought it was okay because they had already been asking about a baby. Nope. But I'm calming down. My kids have taken it easy with me for the rest of the day. My 2-year-old mentioned the baby once, and my 4-year-old reminded her of what I said - let's wait and see if the embryo turns into a baby. He's such a sweet eldest sibling.

 

[DobbyForever]

Awww what sweet kids.

 

[ShinyShiny84]

Wow, I would be furious too. That should be your special moment to share with your children. You've had some really good responses above, I particularly like the garden analogy.