My normal state of PMA is ruined......RANT!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by aimee-lou, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Thanks to stupid people trying their best to make my life miserable, my normal state of PMA is just about gone down the pan!

    Before I start, I just want to say, I'm not normally an irrational person and I am very level most of the time so this is very unlike me! I reckon it's hormones!!

    I felt very bad yesterday - generally felt very sick, tired, dizzy and not well enough to be at work! I do not expect any special treatment but I haven't had ANY time off work due to pregnancy since I was 5 weeks when I was late 2 mornings in a row. I just felt that I needed to put my feet up for the afternoon - so I did.

    I've got in this morning (1st one in as normal) and I've found an absence form on my desk (NEVER had one of these in over a year - any time I've needed I've just worked back!) so apparently they want to dock my pay for yesterday despite me working my ass off and putting up with all sorts of Crap from the people that I work with. I have also noticed that since I told my boss that I'm pregnant he has suddenly stepped up my work load and seems to dislike me....probably because I'm leaving him in the lurch despite being on a fixed term til October anyway (Oh wow - 6 weeks less!).

    I'm sorry, I've had to put up with a lot of shit in the past, and I'm a big girl but I could really kill someone about this. It just seems so petty - I'm not asking for people to do my work for me, or to make excuses for me (yet - when I get bigger it will be a different story!!:rofl:) but I'm being made to feel guilty. As it is I'm having to use a day's TIL to go to my scan despite entitlements - I could raise merry hell and dictate loads of stuff but I'm letting it go as it's a small company and we just don't have the resources....I know this! I'm not stupid, but I just don't seem to be being given the credit!!

    Grrrrrr - rant over girls. I guess I'm just going to have to bite my lip but it's against all my better judgements and instincts to do this!!!
     
  2. Lunaty

    Lunaty Well-Known Member

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    i totally understand were you are coming from, my work is really weird on the whole sickdays and entitlement days as well.. i havnt told them in pregnant yet (as it will probably cause a fuzz anyway si ill wait till im 12 weeks) but honestly i fear the worst!
     
  3. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Thanks for the reply......tbh I think I just needed to rant :rofl:

    I'm beginning to fear the worst - I had to tell my boss at 5 weeks as I was in a lot of pain during the night and not sleeping so needed to rest. I just hope this doesn't get any worse..........could really do without the stress tbh!
     
  4. Lunaty

    Lunaty Well-Known Member

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    fair enough ;) we all need that some times!

    i wish i could tell them as im traveling about 10 hours a day and im just about passed out when im finally home haha..
     
  5. Nanaki

    Nanaki Mummy 2 two boys, an angel and a girl!

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    I can understand how you do feel. I am the same, i dont want any stress it would affect the baby :hissy: I am going to talk to my midwife about it to see what she have to say today. I told my boss I was about 6 weeks pregnant, I feel they get funny with me as well.
     
  6. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Thanks for the replies ladies!

    I've spoken to hubby and I have opted for a 'bull by the horns' approach. I'm just going to ask my boss what's wrong. If he's got a problem with my output, attitude or anything else then he'll get the opportunity. I just hate atmosphere's and if this continues I can tell I'll end up signed off with stress - and he wouldn't like that now would he!

    Also need to speak to a colleague...when hubby picked me up yesterday he noticed she was being funny with me. I'm not sure why she's being funny with me so again, just going to ask.

    Do you think this is the right thing to do girls? I just want things back to how they were!
     
  7. Nanaki

    Nanaki Mummy 2 two boys, an angel and a girl!

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    Well you could always speak to midwife and to see what she have to say. Same me, since I have found out I am pregnant, the work got funny with me.. And all they do is giving me the stress, i been thinking about leave that job as I had enough.
     
  8. Lunaty

    Lunaty Well-Known Member

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    yeah i would just ask straight out.. it's the easiest and best way to trry and resolve those situations.. (it's also very hard to get the currage to do so though!)
     
  9. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Very difficult - especially as I've already had to do this twice before! Once 5 or so weeks ago when I first told boss that I was pregnant and a few months ago when an issue cropped up. This is the 3rd time so I really hope that I don't have to do this again.....gets really tiring when people wake up one day and decide they don't like you! :hissy:
     
  10. third time

    third time Well-Known Member

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    I would ask, but try to not go in there agressively - stress isn't good as you already know! If you're only on a ixed term contract till october then who gives a ****!!! Keep doing the job they were happy with you doing and if anything is said then you can point out that nothing has changed. Also I don;t think that legally they are allowed to make you take a days holiday to go for a scan, they have to be seen to be supporting you!
     
  11. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Right, spoken to my manager. He says that people are not happy at the fact that I have been working flexi for 3 months (We are down to one car and can't really do anything else - should change this week!) - I've been advised to speak to my colleague as apparently while I was away she basically was bad-mouthing me saying that I wasn't 'pulling my weight' so if I want to sort it I'm to speak to her.

    Third time....I think you're right. I have the grant total of 22 weeks left....Planning on going at the end of week 33 unless I can wangle some more holiday time!! :rofl:.....so only 22 mondays and that's it! Then I get to do the most important job in the world....I get to be a Mummy!
     
  12. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Oooh this has just cheered me up!!

    'Most women employees have the right to 52 weeks’ maternity leave. During this period, you have the right to build up your statutory holidays in the same way as if you were at work. Statutory holiday means the minimum holiday you are entitled to by law'

    I think this means that even though I'm on a fixed contract until October - I should get an extra months paid leave!! Hell yeah!! Am I right???
     
  13. Janiepops

    Janiepops Mum of 2 :)

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    This makes me so angry! Bloody stupid women, clearly just jealous, and probably can't do their job properly so have to make someone else look as thick as they are! Grrrr. I think you are right about the paid leave, if you can survive not taking any time off til then? I would just get my head down, stick in there, and tell them all to [email protected]*k off when you leave to do a much better job than that one.

    God I think the hormones have got to me too :rofl:
     
  14. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    I'm entitled to 5 weeks off a year - going to take a week off in July to re-charge the old batteries and then I'll be going mid-August I think especially now I know I'll be owed an extra 19 days paid leave! woo hoo!!!! Just hope that I am correct - I've written an email to the CAB so I hope to get a response.

    Janiepops....don't worry the hormones have got to me too! I'm so mad about this. I was actually considering asking to return but not a chance now. Would rather clean toilets to be honest if it feeds my family!! :hissy:
     
  15. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    ''Right, spoken to my manager. He says that people are not happy at the fact that I have been working flexi for 3 months (We are down to one car and can't really do anything else - should change this week!) - I've been advised to speak to my colleague as apparently while I was away she basically was bad-mouthing me saying that I wasn't 'pulling my weight' so if I want to sort it I'm to speak to her. ''

    Spoken to her and she was very forward - give her credit she never holds back from criticising anyone!!

    She just said that the situation was 'getting trying' and that if I'm feeling ill then it's 'self inflicted' (there speaks someone who has never been pregnant!!) so I shouldn't let it affect my work! I'm glad I spoke to her as I just said it will all be back to normal in the next week or so but I will be off occassionally either through feeling poorly or for appointments....I'm entitled to take this and WILL be taking it!

    I don't think she really understands how I'm feeling but the fact that I just came out and asked her should make things either worse or better (ripped off the band-aid kind of thing.) - could really do without this right now though. I want to celebrate 12 weeks, not worry about what's being said about me at work.
     
  16. Rebaby

    Rebaby Mum to 2 boys

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    Sorry you're having such a crappy time with work :hugs:

    I have to say almost everyone where i work has been absolutely fantastic.

    There was just one person who made some very inappropriate comments about our 'timing' actually to my face when i went back to work after the miscarriage...suggesting that we should wait to try basically as i "have a busy year ahead" (i'm a nurse and i am doing a course alongside work for the next 6 months...like that is a reason to put starting your family on hold! :hissy: )

    I was so shocked and vulnerable after the miscarriage i didn't have it out with her at the time, i just was taken aback and mumbled something about us still getting over the MC and not having decided yet when to try. But of course now i am feeling stronger and kicking myself i didn't tell her to mind her own effing business! :rofl:

    I think her reaction stemmed from the fact that although i have been doing my job for well over a year now i just joined this unit in January and OH and i started trying straight away (it was the right time for us...and of course by the time i actually go on mat leave i will have been there 10 months) also i guess she might have her own issues about pregnancy and motherhood? I know she has children of her own but strikes me as more interested in her career.

    In any case, i really hope things improve for you, and if not well you've got your countdown going, and i'm sure it will fly by! :hugs:
     
  17. eswift

    eswift Well-Known Member

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    Aimee-Lou - some people can be so ignorant... I'm really do empathises with what you're having to go through now; but can't help feeling that in a small business it's probably the right thing to do otherwise it can get very awkward.

    Why should you flogg your pan out if you're physically not able to do it? I kinda think that you need to put you and your baby before anyone elses feelings. If you get my drift.

    I had a mmc last year and tbh I couldn't give a sh*t what my Mum or work colleagues think; I've no intentions of having to go through that again for anyone. If it means being on light duties or signed off all the way through; then that's fine by me. They'll get over it, I know that if I was well enough to do my job, I'd be doing! - Sorry to lecture.

    You need to look after you and let them get over it, yeah it is self inflicted, hehehe. But I agree with you it's the most important job in the world to do. Hope your day gets better...
     
  18. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Thanks for the support girls.....Thanks eswift - I totally agree.

    I have come to the conclusion I must just have a personality which encourages people to be like this with me - either that or I really am crap at my job and I deserve the slack. I've had a number of jobs that have been great - but my last job I was bullied and ended up leaving because I couldn't cope with constant accusations and lies - 2 jobs before that I only lasted 10 weeks in a job as I couldn't hack the pressure (Life is too short to be stressed in my opinion!) .

    Now in this place I used to love it (been here 11 months) and while I'll admit that maybe my brain hasn't been totally in the job the last few weeks what with health problems and TTC and now pregnancy, I thought this place was different. it's obviously not!

    Maybe it is me, but if it is, so be it! I've got 19 weeks left in work and a weeks holiday in July to look forward to! As long as I keep my head down and keep producing, then I don't really give a damn.....she really has P****d me off though!! :hissy:
     
  19. MissyMojo

    MissyMojo Army Wife, Mam & BFP

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    hey sweetie, u get that pma back up to par,

    my work are being the opposite with me but its really putting me out, i'm getting preferential treatment over holiday allocation and extra break allowances etc but i feel its alienating my from my colleagues, a girl in my team asked for some time off for monday jst gone and was told there was no alloctation, then monday came around and my boss came to me and said i've got u down to finish at half 2 so u can rest more!!! how unfair, i would of rather laura had the time than me tbh!
     
  20. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    I'm trying missymojo - I think this week is just a bit of a dead loss as it's been so stressful and with the bank holiday at the end people are a bit de-mob happy - Including me if I'm honest. I've had a good morning though....quite productive. But I think I've been a bit sharp with people because of this.

    Hmmmm......how to get my PMA up? Any suggestions girls?
     

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