Tishimouse
Fairy Godmother - really!
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2007
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I really feel compelled to write here as it's just unbelievable how insensitive people can be. If it's a stranger making the comments or even a friend, you can walk away but when it's family (even in-law's) it's hard to get away from the comments.
Firstly, age seems to be a factor in everything in life. When you are in your 20's you think your body will work like clockwork (not necessarily so), 30's you feel like time is running out (not necessarily so) and 40's, well that's where I am and sometimes it feels like I should give up ... but I haven't run out of steam quite yet.
Since TTC, I have heard and read about so many problems couples have relating to TTC and every single problem can hit anyone of any age. Couples get pregnant and think their worries are over ... when in reality they can be just starting. You just remember that if your brother-in-law and his wife are this ignorant before becoming parents (and please God they will be blessed with a problem free pregnancy), what chance does their child have.
In your case, it may take you a while longer to conceive (as you have been trying a while), but you will most likely be better parents (dare I say it) because you will feel truly blessed when you do become pregnant. I believe that if you are kind and considerate to other people, you will reap the benefits. You will feel good about yourself and have nothing to feel sorry for. If I was you, I would say out straight to your brother-in-law (only if he is aware that you are TTC) that his comments are hurtful and tell him directly that his comments are cruel, immature and thoughtless. Remind him that he may experience something similar in the future if and when they try for a second child and that he will then know how devastating it is for people to pass comment on something that is none of their business. He needs to be told ... I would be firm but say is calmly and confidently without arguing and hope that he has enough intelligence to back off and support you both rather than taunt you over something so sensitive. He sounds very immature so you may wisely choose to say nothing to him ... it depends on how he is in reality.
If it is possible, you should find a place of your own. I hate to say this too, but your In-Law's shouldn't pass comment at all ... how downright rude of them.
I hope you are OK and that things improve. Desperation sets in after a while (I've been there) and that's not a good place to be so I hope this phase passes quickly for you.
Best of luck and sending you some
Firstly, age seems to be a factor in everything in life. When you are in your 20's you think your body will work like clockwork (not necessarily so), 30's you feel like time is running out (not necessarily so) and 40's, well that's where I am and sometimes it feels like I should give up ... but I haven't run out of steam quite yet.
Since TTC, I have heard and read about so many problems couples have relating to TTC and every single problem can hit anyone of any age. Couples get pregnant and think their worries are over ... when in reality they can be just starting. You just remember that if your brother-in-law and his wife are this ignorant before becoming parents (and please God they will be blessed with a problem free pregnancy), what chance does their child have.
In your case, it may take you a while longer to conceive (as you have been trying a while), but you will most likely be better parents (dare I say it) because you will feel truly blessed when you do become pregnant. I believe that if you are kind and considerate to other people, you will reap the benefits. You will feel good about yourself and have nothing to feel sorry for. If I was you, I would say out straight to your brother-in-law (only if he is aware that you are TTC) that his comments are hurtful and tell him directly that his comments are cruel, immature and thoughtless. Remind him that he may experience something similar in the future if and when they try for a second child and that he will then know how devastating it is for people to pass comment on something that is none of their business. He needs to be told ... I would be firm but say is calmly and confidently without arguing and hope that he has enough intelligence to back off and support you both rather than taunt you over something so sensitive. He sounds very immature so you may wisely choose to say nothing to him ... it depends on how he is in reality.
If it is possible, you should find a place of your own. I hate to say this too, but your In-Law's shouldn't pass comment at all ... how downright rude of them.
I hope you are OK and that things improve. Desperation sets in after a while (I've been there) and that's not a good place to be so I hope this phase passes quickly for you.
Best of luck and sending you some