My Story

[jaan613]

Hi Everyone,
I have been stalking this website for a few months now and I have learned so much from all of you. Think it's time I share my story. I have never really shared this with anyone as I was embarrased, and I kept pretending things were okay. So here goes:
I have been married for 5 and a half years. My husband keeps very long work hours so he was always exhausted and tired coming home from work. I would notice that when we did have sex, he was not ejaculating inside me. I couldn't understand because he was able to do it outside of me. Finally we went to a doctor and he mentioned my husband's veins were enlarged and he had a varicocele and so he did a varicocelectomy. Still till today, it is very very very rare that he is able to ejactulate inside of me. But at least he doesnt feel any discomfort as he did have before the surgery.
Now you can imagine how tiring and frustrating this is for both of us, especially wanting to have a baby. I have tried almost a year and a half to try and have a healthy sex life but him not being able to finish inside me has it made it so difficult for us both. I try not to pressure him, but I am 31 (almost 32) and he's already 33. I went for a full check up recently...While waiting for him to sort out his issues, I have developed PCOS. My left ovary is a lazy ovary and my right one is polycystic...eggs are way too small and are not of right size. So now we both have some sort of problem with trying to conceive

I have been on 150mg of clomid on day 2 - day 6 of my cycle since April. This July would make it 3 months. My husband and I have been doing at home insem (he ejaculates in the cup, and we insert it using a syringe) - have tried for two cycles and no luck. July will be our 3rd time trying. To be honest, I am not even convinced myself that at home insem will work, as I now too have PCOS.

On Thursday will be day 9 of my 3rd cycle and my doc is scheduling me for the fallopian tube dye blockage test, she said we should do this so we can remove it from our list to know if there are any further problems. I am so nervous about this and hope I hear that my tubes are not blocked.

I really would love to get pregnant but the stress or enjoyment of sex is so hard especially when my husband is not able to successfully ejaculate inside me and then the added pressure of being polycystic is really getting me down.

Just hoping that all the stars align for me soon and I manage to conceive.

Just needed to share it with someone because I think I'm about to go crazy soon!

 

[Cookie1979]

Oh dear, doesn't sound like you have had an easy road with ttc. I have PCOS too so I understand how it can make you wonder if it will ever happen...I have a son and I know lots of ladies with PCOS who have conceived successfully, hopefully you will too, but I can see that your husbands problems is making the situation harder. Good luck with your dye test, I hope it comes back that your tubes are clear.

Where abouts are you? If you are in the USA I read that pregnatude is good for PCOS ladies trying to conceive (I'm not in the US its just something I read on here), or if you are in the UK I have a link to a website that sells progesterone cream which is good aswell. I am using progesterone with added estrogen in it, within 4 days of using it I ovulated (hadn't expected to ovulate for a week or 2 more due to my long cycles) so now on the 2 ww.

Good luck to you xxx

 

[jaan613]

Cookie --- thank you for your message. yes it hasnt been as easy for me. all my friends/female family members are on their 2nd/3rd kids already so the pressure is all around me. i guess being trying to stay positive will hopefully help me in some way.
did you concieve your son the normal/natural way or with some assistance? i live in the philippines actually and i have not heard about this cream. i will look into it, thanks for the info i appreciate it.

good luck to you my dear, i hope you get your good news

I will take it one step at a time - let me get over the HSG Test first this Thursday!

 

[MrsAM]

Hi Jaan (lovely name btw. In Urdu/Hindi it's a term of endearment and means 'life')

So I just read your story and just wanted to let you know that I was diagnosed with PCOS and a blocked left tube 2 years ago and went through periods of real sadness and depression and when it's all so new and raw it does hurt; you will get stronger and as for your husbands issue just think how many people need IUIs (artifical insemination like you are doing with the syringe, or in a hospital) to conceive, people whose husbands are able to ejaculate inside them. Don't be disheartened, hopefully these two things are your only issue and although it makes it harder it will not be impossible to conceive.

Even though I have not conceived yet myself I have ovulated on fertility drugs which is an achievement and I just think one day one of my cycles will hit the jackpot!!

I really hope your HSG is clear. Sometimes dealing with the mental and emotional effects of fertility problems is much harder than going through the physical stuff. I know it is so cliche to say keep positive bt try this..don't be negative but you don't need to go lala either. Distract yourself, keep busy and deal with the fertility stuff when you hacr t

 

[jaan613]

Hello MrsAm,

Thanks for your reply My hubby & I are Indian except we were born and raised outside of India. He calls me Jaan as a nickname since the day we met so I thought what a perfect login name to use for this forum

I appreciate your words of encouragement, sometimes just knowing someone out there is listening is good enough. It's hard to share with friends our personal issues especially since everyone is popping kids left and right.

I am glad to hear that you have ovulated on with some help - I hope you get your good news soon too

I go in for HSG tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. and yes, trying to keep myself occupied and trying not to stress over it.

 

[jaan613]

Thankgod it's over!


Doctor said both tubes were clear and not blocked but I get my final results out tomorrow. I am so relieved to hear that both tubes are not blocked...finally some good news for me. I go in on Saturday (Day 11) for me for an ultrasound to see how clomid has worked for me this month. Hopefully this will be my month!!!

 

[m.knight]

My story is similar. I have PCOS, and husband cannot ejaculate inside me due to anxiety issues. So after many, many drs appointments we were told to try the turkey basting method. With some good timing, a pot and a small syringe, and a lot of laughing about it (you have to!!) we're 6 weeks pregnant. Took us 3 times of doing this, 2 last year, and one last month. So trust me, the method does work, so long as he has good sperm!

 

[jaan613]

My story is similar. I have PCOS, and husband cannot ejaculate inside me due to anxiety issues. So after many, many drs appointments we were told to try the turkey basting method. With some good timing, a pot and a small syringe, and a lot of laughing about it (you have to!!) we're 6 weeks pregnant. Took us 3 times of doing this, 2 last year, and one last month. So trust me, the method does work, so long as he has good sperm!

You dont know how good that made me feel to read that!!! So there is hope for me at the end of it all!!
That's great for you - how exciting that it all worked out. Hope you have a healthy happy pregnancy! Were you on clomid or any fertilitiy tablets to manage your PCOS?

 

[jaan613]

Had an ultrasound yesterday, day 11, and doctor said no signs of an egg SO BUMMED!! I feel terrible and I am so depressed. I guess there's always next month. 3 months of 150 mg and I really thought and believed this would be my month.
Doc wants me to start injectables since I have not responded to clomid. Don't know what to do