DanisMomma
Active Member
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2012
- Messages
- 41
- Reaction score
- 0
Hello ladies... I'm pretty new to this forum, but I feel like maybe venting, or even just checking to see if I'm nuts. 
I'm pretty late in my cycle right now. Almost 2 weeks late (BFN so far!). Anyway, I've been reflecting on how this whole TTC thing is such an emotional rollercoaster!
I have periods when I am really thinking about trying, and when I'm hoping that by not thinking about it, I'll get pregnant. Here's how it usually goes:
I'll BD during ovulation time, swear it's a good one because of all the EWCM and the cramps. The next two weeks, I'll look for any symptoms and over-analyze every little thing. AF comes right on time. I keep a positive outlook, re-think my game plan and I'm glad to try again the next month.
This will go on a couple of months, and then I'll decide that I'm trying too hard, and I'm not going to "try". I'll just leave it up to God and hope it happens. Of course, I'll know in the back of my head when I am ovulating, and if my husband and I happen to BD, I'll try to force myself to not thing about it for the next 2 weeks.
THEN: something happens... I have new symptoms that I haven't really had before, or my boobs will hurt just like when I was pregnant with my daughter. My CP will be super high that it's unreachable, and you know... it's not like that in previous cycles. This must be it! I'll search the internet for who-knows-what in hopes that this might finally be the month!
Two weeks go by, no AF. Okay, no big deal. I'm not going to test because I know I still want to hold on to that little bit of hope I have at the moment, and when I see that 1 pink line staring at me, my hope will shatter. Another week goes by, and I finally decide to test. I just know it's going to be positive. My boobs hurt like hell, and overall, I just feel pregnant.
As I secretly drive to the store to get a HPT, I'm thinking of how I'm going to tell my DH the good news, because it's gotta be a BFP. I just know it! When I get home, I go to take the test and watch the dye form a line over the test area, and for a split second, think I knew it! The it just keeps on going... Okay, okay... even though it should show up pretty quick if my dates are right, I give it some time.
Here I am in the bathroom, staring at this STUPID HPT! I am trying to "will" another pink line on the test, and trying different lighting. Well, maybe I should take it out... still nothing.
My hope is shattered... but then again... it's not over till AF right? I mean that's what I hear online, right? Back to the internet. I've gotta hear stories of women who had late BFPs and hope that maybe I'm in that situation...
Another week, no AF, no BFP! Agh! (I'm here now) Pretty soon AF will inevitably come, and I'll really get fed up and just believe it's never going to happen again. I am so blessed to have my daughter, but she will most likely not have a sibling...
A couple of months later, the whole thing will start over again... This has been going on since my daughter was 9 months old. She'll be 4 next month! Sorry to babble... Am I nuts, or what?
I'm pretty late in my cycle right now. Almost 2 weeks late (BFN so far!). Anyway, I've been reflecting on how this whole TTC thing is such an emotional rollercoaster!
I have periods when I am really thinking about trying, and when I'm hoping that by not thinking about it, I'll get pregnant. Here's how it usually goes:
I'll BD during ovulation time, swear it's a good one because of all the EWCM and the cramps. The next two weeks, I'll look for any symptoms and over-analyze every little thing. AF comes right on time. I keep a positive outlook, re-think my game plan and I'm glad to try again the next month.
This will go on a couple of months, and then I'll decide that I'm trying too hard, and I'm not going to "try". I'll just leave it up to God and hope it happens. Of course, I'll know in the back of my head when I am ovulating, and if my husband and I happen to BD, I'll try to force myself to not thing about it for the next 2 weeks.
THEN: something happens... I have new symptoms that I haven't really had before, or my boobs will hurt just like when I was pregnant with my daughter. My CP will be super high that it's unreachable, and you know... it's not like that in previous cycles. This must be it! I'll search the internet for who-knows-what in hopes that this might finally be the month!
Two weeks go by, no AF. Okay, no big deal. I'm not going to test because I know I still want to hold on to that little bit of hope I have at the moment, and when I see that 1 pink line staring at me, my hope will shatter. Another week goes by, and I finally decide to test. I just know it's going to be positive. My boobs hurt like hell, and overall, I just feel pregnant.
As I secretly drive to the store to get a HPT, I'm thinking of how I'm going to tell my DH the good news, because it's gotta be a BFP. I just know it! When I get home, I go to take the test and watch the dye form a line over the test area, and for a split second, think I knew it! The it just keeps on going... Okay, okay... even though it should show up pretty quick if my dates are right, I give it some time.
Here I am in the bathroom, staring at this STUPID HPT! I am trying to "will" another pink line on the test, and trying different lighting. Well, maybe I should take it out... still nothing.
My hope is shattered... but then again... it's not over till AF right? I mean that's what I hear online, right? Back to the internet. I've gotta hear stories of women who had late BFPs and hope that maybe I'm in that situation...
Another week, no AF, no BFP! Agh! (I'm here now) Pretty soon AF will inevitably come, and I'll really get fed up and just believe it's never going to happen again. I am so blessed to have my daughter, but she will most likely not have a sibling...
A couple of months later, the whole thing will start over again... This has been going on since my daughter was 9 months old. She'll be 4 next month! Sorry to babble... Am I nuts, or what?
