Nativity play am i in the wrong?

[mummylove]

Ok here is my problem. My son is a cow in the Nativity play in nursery but i refuse to spend nearly £15 on a costume when i know for a fact he wont join in. He is very shy and will struggle for him to do anything, will struggle to even get him to stay on the stage. Even one of the nursery staff under where i am coming from cus when they did rehearsals he wouldnt join in. Then my second problem is my daughter. She is a lamb in her year 1 Nativity play. I refuse £15 for that too, cus she is the same as my on. She hates being in front of a big group of people. She is really show. She will stand/sit there but she will not dance or sing, so why should i pay that much for her just to sit there. Am i wrong to refuse £30 when i know they wont join in? I dont have that sort of money to waste. If i knew they would join in i would pay it, but i know my kids and they wont. I swear more my daughter has anxiety of being around to many people.

 

[luci and bump]

Do you have to spend 15 on the costumes? You could make them for cheaper, neither would be too hard

 

[mummylove]

I dont know how to make anything, plus i cant use a sowing machine as im visually impaired and cant see properly

 

[loeylo]

You could definitely make them for less. For the sheep, a white woolen hat. Make ears out of card and staple them on. Can glue cotton wool balls on if you want. A white long sleeved top/jumper and leggings. Again glue cotton wool on if you want. For the cow, you can get cow onesies that can be worn elsewhere, I'm sure primark do them or online. Or again, paint patches on clothes and add ears/horns to a hat.

Tbh I think you should strongly encourage them to join in - even if not in a main part or an active role. Part of the "informal curriculum" of schools/nurseries is encouraging participation in a variety of situations. For example, I hated sports, I have no coordination or rhythm, but I still was forced to participate. Try encouraging them and telling them how fun it will be, how cute they will be in their outfits etc.

 

[Natasha2605]

I agree with the poster above. I think not having them in costume may lead them to feeling more self concious. At that age they'll want to be like their friends, whether they have a speaking part or not. Often in that type of peer situation children adapt really well and do things they wouldn't usually.

 

[CaptainMummy]

I would make a costume like PP said.
My eldest was (is) extremely shy. She used to not join im with things like that but she played the part of an angel in last years nativity and did great, she surprised everyone (there were 6 angels and they had to stand at thw front for a song)
At her end of nursery show, she even had a speaking part and was brilliant. The nursery staff were astonished (as was I)

I would encourage them to participate. They might surprise you!

 

[babydustcass]

It wouldn't be too hard to whip up a costume, doesn't have to look professional, even just making a mask and some ears would be suffice and dressing in the appropriate colours. I agree with the pps, even if they are too shy to join in, doesn't mean they don't want to take part. Sometimes shyness overwhelms children and makes then shy away from situations such as being on the stage as much as they would love to have the confidence to be a part of it. But i wouldnt spend £15 either on costumes for nativity as they probably wouldnt wear them again

 

[mummylove]

I will give it a go thanks

 

[suzib76]

I'm surprised you have to provide the costumes that the nursery dictate? That seems a bit off tbh. When mine were in nursery they had all that kind of stuff and more as part of the day to day dress up clothes. In your situation I probably would buy a costume as I am ridiculously uncreative, but at the same time nursery should know the kids well enough to decide if they are able to take part or not, some kids just don't like things like that. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to encourage them, but if they genuinely don't want to do it and would feel uncomfortable then I would be happy as a parent to advise nursery that my child sit out.

 

[mummylove]

I'm surprised you have to provide the costumes that the nursery dictate? That seems a bit off tbh. When mine were in nursery they had all that kind of stuff and more as part of the day to day dress up clothes. In your situation I probably would buy a costume as I am ridiculously uncreative, but at the same time nursery should know the kids well enough to decide if they are able to take part or not, some kids just don't like things like that. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to encourage them, but if they genuinely don't want to do it and would feel uncomfortable then I would be happy as a parent to advise nursery that my child sit out.

My oh isnt happy that have to pay every year. MY daughter didnt join in last year, she just sat there. We asked her why she didnt do her part and she said cus she is scared. I am useless at making things but i can give it a go

 

[Ceejay123]

Honestly, I wouldn't let my kids be left out. If i couldn't afford a costume I'd make one.. I would encourage my child to join in rather than hinder them not giving them the opportunity in case they don't.

Riley's shy - But I've bought his costume this year, it was £10 from asda.

Good luck with the attempt at making costumes x

 

[mummylove]

I am not hindering them. They get very upset when they get pushed into doing something they dont want to do. My daughter was in tears last year cus she didnt want to be on stage

 

[hayz_baby]

Again I would make a costume, see if someone could help you? White tee with cotton wool and leggings and white tee and brown fabric pen to draw cow spots and jobbing bottoms. I wouldn't pressure them to join in if you really feel they won't but at least they have the option to.
Tbh with schools these sort of costs come up all the time, I guess it's kinda expected. I have to buy ds1 a red top as he is a soilder. so most people don't expect them to look amazing as you tend to do for as cheap as poss anyway. I guess it's all part of the fun to look back st as an adult. I always wore a bin bag and my brothers batman cap for a witch costume for Halloween lol.

 

[Abz1982]

How about this:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/CHILDREN...hash=item4175f5901c:m:mNEsbnuBsfxyNQjLhNqYTgw

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Boys-Gir...hash=item419e629554:m:m3GFRrxX4tQ-BcQb-k3I8Mw

Its a onsie, and so they can use them as pyjamas as well?? That way its not a wasteful spend so to speak??

Otr just do masks? That is what DD had when they did them.

https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/437482551283124230/

https://maskspot.com/download/lamb-mask/

https://maskspot.com/download/cow-mask/

And just dress them in white or black or brown.

 

[AP]

Our school and nursery insist costumes to be made. Buying them not only costs the parents but starts all manner of moaning between parents who can't afford to buy ready made stuff

 

[Boomerslady]

Can you perhaps ask around if any of the mums with older kids have an outfit you can borrow? I managed to get one from a mum of a child 2 years above. Or perhaps have a hunt around charity shops, or ask on local selling sites? I have loads of stuff I could sell but no time to photo and list etc, but when people post a wanted as for something I usually sell things that way.

Just a thought? I know how stupidly expensive it is. This year at bens school he has to dress up as an 'occupation' 'zoo animal' and a 'planet' god knows what I'll do for those!

 

[mummylove]

I have tried a few selling sites and nothing. Going to speak to the school tomorrow. I am useless at making things. I might get the onesie ones as posted above as they could wear them at home

 

[george83]

I've done sheep costumes with my class before we did black leggings, a white t shirt and then a cardboard strip wrapped around their heads with two dangling down ears, the head band/ears were then covered with cotton wool balls. Nothing too expensive but worked well

 

[mummylove]

We have sorted it with the school. She will wear white tights and white top and they have a cow mask

 

[luci and bump]

Glad you got it sorted I've spent the past few days making my DDs sheep costume. Have basically stuck 2 bags of cotton wool balls onto a white top! haven't decided if she'll wear black or white leggings with it yet though