Hi
I'm new to this forum, but as lots of other people have said, don't feel that there is anyone around who understands the impact of having a premature baby. Our lo was 6 weeks early and is now 9 weeks (3 weeks corrected). He came home from SCBU after 2 weeks, always healthy but just taking a breastfeeding. I managed to wean him off nipple shields 4 weeks later which felt like a massive achievement, but still had a weekly battle with HV about his weight gain (even though he was gaining between 5-10oz a week).
We finally started to feel like he was a 'normal baby' a couple of weeks ago and felt more confident about enjoying him. Then, in the middle of the night at the weekend I woke to him gasping for air. He has done this before, when he has brought up a little bit of milk so I didn't get him up straight away, but watched and realised something was wrong. When I did get him up, he went floppy and lifeless, stopped breathing and turned completely blue. Through extreme panic, my husband managed to call 999 and I resuscitated him just before paramedics arrived. He was rushed to hospital coughing up blood. After 4 days in hospital and every test going, we think that he choked on his own phlegm and vomit - something which we are told could happen to any baby, no matter what their size. He has always breathed on his own so has no underlying problems - it was just a freak one off accident that we nearly lost him through.
I'm finding it really hard to move on. I'm racked with guilt about why I didn't get him straight up, why hadn't I taken him to the GP (he was a bit bunged up that week), why I had swaddled him which meant he was sleeping with his head straight up instead of turned to the side as he usually does. I feel sad that the excitement of having our little boy is being overshadowed with worry, firstly with the premature birth and now this. I'm finding it hard to believe I'll ever relax with him again.
I suppose the other reason for me posting this is because I have thanked my lucky stars every day that 1) he was in our room and 2) we knew CPR. If he hadn't been next to my bed, there is no way whatsoever that I would have woken to such a tiny gasp, certainly not over a monitor. We would have been in a very different situation now. We were taught CPR when leaving special care, thinking that we would never ever need it as he had always been so healthy. I hope that everyone who has the chance to learn it takes it up as again, it made the difference between life and death for my little man.
Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm feeling pretty isolated in this at the moment, as its something most people never go through.
xx
I'm new to this forum, but as lots of other people have said, don't feel that there is anyone around who understands the impact of having a premature baby. Our lo was 6 weeks early and is now 9 weeks (3 weeks corrected). He came home from SCBU after 2 weeks, always healthy but just taking a breastfeeding. I managed to wean him off nipple shields 4 weeks later which felt like a massive achievement, but still had a weekly battle with HV about his weight gain (even though he was gaining between 5-10oz a week).
We finally started to feel like he was a 'normal baby' a couple of weeks ago and felt more confident about enjoying him. Then, in the middle of the night at the weekend I woke to him gasping for air. He has done this before, when he has brought up a little bit of milk so I didn't get him up straight away, but watched and realised something was wrong. When I did get him up, he went floppy and lifeless, stopped breathing and turned completely blue. Through extreme panic, my husband managed to call 999 and I resuscitated him just before paramedics arrived. He was rushed to hospital coughing up blood. After 4 days in hospital and every test going, we think that he choked on his own phlegm and vomit - something which we are told could happen to any baby, no matter what their size. He has always breathed on his own so has no underlying problems - it was just a freak one off accident that we nearly lost him through.
I'm finding it really hard to move on. I'm racked with guilt about why I didn't get him straight up, why hadn't I taken him to the GP (he was a bit bunged up that week), why I had swaddled him which meant he was sleeping with his head straight up instead of turned to the side as he usually does. I feel sad that the excitement of having our little boy is being overshadowed with worry, firstly with the premature birth and now this. I'm finding it hard to believe I'll ever relax with him again.
I suppose the other reason for me posting this is because I have thanked my lucky stars every day that 1) he was in our room and 2) we knew CPR. If he hadn't been next to my bed, there is no way whatsoever that I would have woken to such a tiny gasp, certainly not over a monitor. We would have been in a very different situation now. We were taught CPR when leaving special care, thinking that we would never ever need it as he had always been so healthy. I hope that everyone who has the chance to learn it takes it up as again, it made the difference between life and death for my little man.
Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm feeling pretty isolated in this at the moment, as its something most people never go through.
xx