Nervous

[Nicolax]

I'm so nervous to start looking for a sperm doner for my OH and I.

I haven't the foggiest where to start looking, I guess that's one problem, I really don't want to start in the wrong place and be gutted

We've got a doctors appointment next week to talk it over with the doc and hopefully they'll be able to give us some ideas.

We definately want a lesbian-friendly place to look, because we both realise some people are morally against same-sex parents and we don't want to get shot down because of our sexuality, so I guess that's sort of a start of where to look.

It's scary but exciting!

 

[DaisyJump]

Hi
Good look with your search. Hope everything works out for you xx

 

[Nicolax]

Thank you!

 

[emilyjean]

You're in the UK?
https://www.europeanspermbank.com/ I know some people that have said good things about the US version of European Sperm Bank. I think most sperm banks are lesbian friendly, at least all the ones I've looked at in the US are!
cryolab.com ships international, and I've heard good things about them as well.

I recommend starting the search with whatever is most important to you appearance wise. Find a couple donors you really like, and then do some searching to see if any other people have used him and what their results were. I for one was very concerned about whether my donor had BFPs. Some people want there to only be a few half siblings, I just wanted a donor that was really capable of getting someone pregnant so I didn't care how many other babies there were. In the US they only allow 25 babies per donor per 800,000 populous, I'm not sure how they do it in the UK.

It's honestly a pretty fun process! Going through a smaller bank makes it easier, as they have less donors so it's less overwhelming. It will all work out!

 

[Nicolax]

Oh, wow! Thank you so much for that information!
Going to start looking at that site and show Sarah when she gets home from work! =D
I agree, I don't care (within reason) how many people the guys got pregnant, I want to be sure he's definatly capable, haha!

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey, not sure what country you are in but my friend married her girlfriend last year & they are going through the London Womens Clinic for IUI with donated sperm. Best of luck to you both

 

[Nicolax]

England

aw i hope it works out for them

and thank you x

 

[rachelle1975]

Me too, they are such a lovely couple. If you look on the HFEA site they will show you all clinics near to your postcode & they'll also show the ones the do IUI with DS. could be a starting point? Alternative in the fertility friends website they have a section on this too & clinic pages

 

[Nicolax]

Thank you!
I'm just about to have a look, just texted Sarah telling her about it all! Can't wait for her to get home so we can look together

 

[Nicolax]

So I found a few near me with that HFEA site and read through bits of it.
I think we're going to pop down tomorrow if we can have have a chat or book an appointment and have a chat, try and get the ball rolliing because I should OV in 13 days.
I'm not hopeful anything will be done in time for this OV but hopefully next time!

 

[rachelle1975]

A crimbo baby! Perfect

 

[DillyC]

Hey hon...

Good Luck,

I also agree with Rachelle... London Womens Clinic very geared towards same sex and single women.... I used to work there and run the Donor IUI programme and do the IUI/DI treatments!!

Used to have a lot of donors (bearing in mind i was there about 10 years ago and the HFEA rules have changed now, so less donors now as the child has the right to contact the donor when they reach a certain age now whereas it was anonymous before) you get quite a lot of info regarding the physical attributes/ job/ health background etc obviously all screening is very thorough and I used to meet all the donors.... not at all wierdos...mostly genuinely lovely guys.

The Bridge centre in London was also very good, with lots of donor choice...

Hope you find a lovely clinic and good luck with the process xxx

 

[wannabmum]

Hi huni, first of good luck to you both on your journey , Here is a sperm bank in US(my friend used them) even if you are in the UK (my friend is as well) they have UK compliant donors, the reason she went with them is they have a fab reputation but also she liked the fact you could chose donors with Adult photo's available to make her decision easier when she was trying to get a donor who resembled her Oh. https://xytex.com/

xxxx

 

[merry.christi]

I never use bank sperm

 

[Nicolax]

Thank you, everyone!

 

[Nicolax]

Thank you, everyone!

We may have possibly found a doner. Sarah's cousins' best friend was told about our situation and he's gay himself, and said that he'd love to help us as family is really important to him.

My only concerns are that Sarah's met him a few times and what if we bumped into him and he got awkward after the child was born? I hope he'd be willing to go the docs and get tests and stuff done, want too make sure he's completely healthy in every possible way. I'm not even sure I want to use a doner we kind of 'know'. =/
But then why not when we have a willing doner that would be there for this cycle instead of waiting, when we're desperately waiting for a baby and have been for years.
Ah, I don't know what to do!