New, nervous,excited,scared and overwhelmed!

[NYCBride]

Hi Everyone

Brief introduction...
25 years old and been married for just over a year.
Last year (July) DH and I discovered we were pregnant ,were over the mood, went on our honeymoon and life was fantastic....
On the plane home, I knew something was wrong but was fleeting, got home, settled into life being pregnant, scan date came only to be told "this pregnancy has stopped"..... devastated doesnt even come close..... Sept 11th was the day we found out, and I opted to deal with things at home, one week later........

So here we are now, moving forward in life and being thankful for the all too brief appearence the baby made in our life.....

I've changed jobs from a very stressful job to something so different, enjoyable, supportive and healthy.... and DH and I felt ready to ty again. We hadnt actively been "trying" previously, it just happened for us.... however now we're more active...

The past two cycles has arrived, and I feel rocked all over again and it takes me a couple of days to mentally "stand up" again....

But I know that I dont "know" enough about what Im doing really.
All the information I find online is just mind boggling! And I feel really lost....

All I know is the dates that AF has arrived, any further than that i.e knowing I've ov'ed etc.... cant quite figure out the signs etc, the timing, positions etc, so I guess what Im really asking is for the basics really....

For example:
The first day of my last period was the 22nd March.....
Where do I go from here?

I've read through some other posts, and you all just seem like such a supportive bunch. some other websites ive come across just scare me!

In advance just really like to say thanks for reading, and all the advice is much MUCH appreciated...

And just to end on..... wishing everyone lots of baby dust!

 

[hayley2]

Hi Welcome to BnB!!!!

Sorry to hear of your loss xxx

The basics of TTC are to pinpoint your ovulation (O) to a 48 hour period. How long are your cycles normally?

I find it easiest to use Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKS) that you can buy from ebay for about £6 for 50 tests. You pee on them twice a day (between 11am-8pm) until you get a positive then you have loads of sex and hope it works!!!!! If you have irregular cycles then start using opks from CD10 until you get a positive. It your cycles are regular then start using them 16 days before your period should start.

Another option is to use a BBT (Basal Body Thermometer) and take your temp every morning as soon as you wake and record it on a chart (Website called Fertility Friend is fab! Theres a link on my chart below - have a look), however this will tell you AFTER you have O'd, as after O your temp will rise.

So if your feeling brave you can do both or just start off with opks and see how you go. There is loads of other O indicators as well - like CM - when you are about to O and during O you get lots of egg white cervical muscus its clear and very stretchy.

Only BD once per day though as you don't want to wear out all your little swimmers!

Hope this is a starting off point for you and your stay in TTC is a very short one!

xxx

 

[NYCBride]

well my cycles had previously been around 28 days, although the one previous worked out as 33 days...

I dont know if that was just a one off or what...

I've just working out my fertile period, using online calculators... but sounds like the next best thing to do is to try with the strips you highlighted...

will mean peeing on one whilst at work.... LOL but oh well....
BD once a day will feel like a stretch! LOL I work really long days for 4 days a week so I dont really see OH till a friday through to monday, as my energy is just sapped! So will need to work on that!!!

 

[Mrs_N]

sorry to hear about your loss, fingers crossed your stay here is short and sweet!

ovulations strips can be used once per day if you don't want to pee on them at work (I don't!), although there is always the chance you may miss you lh surge (the hormone that the tests measure - it peaks just before ovulation).
temping is also good if you like to be in control - i've just started this month and am loving knowing more about what is going on with my body, I feel much more in control! I'm sure the last two months we've at completely the wrong time!

 

[NYCBride]

Peeing on them at work isnt a major issue. It was just because I'm at work from 6am till 6:30pm... so getting in two pee rounds per day would mean doing one at work, but I have a very supportive boss who knows about our loss, and even though it happened before I worked there, offered us as much support as we need for when we want to try again... consider myself very lucky in that respect.

Body temp where is the best place to take the temp from? And do you require a specific thermometer or is a general all purpose one suitable?

When LH peaks just before ovulation is it generally hours before, or days before?

 

[anna'ellisia]

welcome and good luck x

 

[Mrs_N]

apparently lh peaks 24-48 hours before ovulation, some women get a few days of positive opk's which can be a little confusing.

i temp orally, although you can temp 'down there' I think dh would find it a bit odd, and I'm not sure how hygenic it is! you should use a basal thermometer - it gives you a reading to two decimal places rather than one and is therefore much mroe accurate & you can track smaller changes.

 

[NYCBride]

Thanks Anna'

Feels much easier getting advice from "real" people rather than just written word in a magazine or online....

 

[NYCBride]

Thanks Mrs N

Are basal thermometers expensive? Widely available?

Is there a best time of day to take temps and OPK strips etc?

 

[broodylocket]

you can find basal therm on ebay for about £5-£10 and some come with ovulation tests.

Good luck xx

 

[Mrs_N]

i got my basal thermometer from babymand off ebay, came with 30 ovulation sticks and was about £7 i think including postage

 

[NYCBride]

ok just managed to get ovulation strips and a basal therm' off ebay on a BIN for £8, so not too bad....

DH and I are spending some time tomorrow working out a new eating plan for the week, getting healthier so the baby (when he/she arrives) has a new comfy home to hang out in for 9 months

 

[Scootpootie]

I'm very new myself and feel every single adjective that your post title implies. I can't give much advice, but would like to extend a hug because we all need one throughout this process. Baby dust to you! And I hope we can both congratulate each other soon on some good news!

 

[DaisyBee]

I just got my BFP yesterday so I will tell you what we did last month because something must have been right! It was the first month we used OPK testing - I tested 2ce a day until I got a surge (which lasted 2 days) I used the ones that you dip into your pee instead of the sticks you have to pee on (im not that coordinated!) I did it midday and early evening. They say dont do it in the morning - wont show up. Also dont drink liquids before you take it - your urine should be strong to help show the surge well. Another reason I liked peeing in the cup - if it was light colored then I didnt test & waited til next time to test. DH and I were guessing on timing of O (usually have a 31 day cycle so was counting back 14ish days which is only average of when women ovulate) and started bd'ing on Sunday. Bd on Mon, Tues(surge), Wed(surge) and Thursday - & then stopped. This was the first month we used preseed which we liked because it helped us have more of a "quickie" since we also work a lot and not always in the mood when it is a day to make babies! Others on here have said they got their bfp's on preseed - maybe a helper- maybe they would have gotten bfp anyway.

When I got Af last month I started taking 1 baby asprin a day, 50 mg B-6, 1 super B-complex, 250 mg magnesium, 200 mcg selenium and prenatal that I have been taking anyway. DH has been taking multivitamin, 400 iu vit. e, 50 mg zinc, 1000 mg vit. c. DH also cut out alchohol almost completely a few months back because I read that 40% of male fertility issues are related to alcohol. (Not sure if it is true but we decided couldnt hurt right?) Anway - Im not saying you should take these vitamins but I had been researching and decided that is what I thought I should take.

I didnt get up after bding until the next morning (no peeing either)

I started to do temping - but mine was all over the place and I sometimes sleep with my mouth open and sometimes not- so funny I know but I think it maybe was affecting my bbt?! It was up down up down like every day - so I gave it up because I was getting more frusterated with it. I told myself though that if would have showed up I would try again. Maybe thats why some temp down below? I found it weird too - so never tried.

If you have questions about anything I wrote you can pm me so I can try to help. I know how frustrating and updown rollercoaster ttc is. We have waited 2 years for a Strong bpf. Have had faint ones before that resulted in chemicals. for your loss. Keep the pma as much as you can!

 

[NYCBride]

WOW Daisy!
Congratulations and thankyou so much for the reply.
I'm feeling pretty at home now and a bit more confident about what we're trying to achieve, and I am such a strong believer in the PMA, especially because I work in that kind of environment! So I guess today I'm feeling much more like "this will happen" rather than I hope this can happen....

I've been taking a pre-pregnancy supplement and I'm researching what I can do with my diet, and eating. I'm considered one of those lucky people who can eat and eat and never gain weight..... however I dont consider that lucky, esp after my GP told me that because Im underweight, that could have had a strong influence on my miscarriage (!?)

My husband and I dont drink and we dont drink a lot of caffeine either.
I hadnt thought as far ahead as deciding whether to pee in cup or on stick! Should I only be testing of my pee is a certain colour?

My only other question is.. when you refer to using pre-seed, what exactly does this refer to?

ScootPootie- Thanks for the message, I really appreciate it. Wish you the best of luck in TTC too..... be nice to keep updated on how you're getting on! Someone mentionned something about a 'buddy system'?

 

[caz81]

just wanted to say hello & welcome, im also ttc after a m/c, we are using opks to help us, should know in a few days if they have helped or not!! xx

 

[NYCBride]

Hi Caz, thanks for your message...


Only 4 days till testing eh?
Wish you loads of baby dust!!!!

 

[caz81]

thank you, i have everything crossed for this month!! xx

 

[overcomer79]

Also, "listen" to your body. I didn't notice this until I started actively trying, but you will have cramps about the time of ovulation. I was taught to mark anything like that down on my chart. With my charting, I did temperature and OP (ovulation pain). I also want to say don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen first time around as it took OH and myself over 3 years to conceive (I know the reason to it tho) but want to wish you loads of luck and hope you get your sticky very very soon.

Let us know if you have anymore question .

 

[NYCBride]

im armed with lots of information to get started with i think...

most important for me I think are the timing and frequency of BD, according to ovulation calculators my fertile period was last tuesday to sunday, so we got three rounds of BD in that time..... ive been looking out for other symptoms but am yet to discover any...

CM is one that i've been most "alert" for, but im yet to see any change really....

Secondly i really want to focus on our eating and making sure i have the nutrition to support a pregnancy and baby.... that way i feel like ive got some element of control...

On a positive mental attitude note, DH and I have already picked out baby names..... its definitely a case of when it happens, not if it happens in our minds, which i guess is a good thing!