New to forum/MC woes

[Seanachai]

Where to begin.... My husband and I have been married since December. I have four kids from my previous marriage, my hubby has none. He has tried in previous relationships, tho, it just never happened. He desperately wants to be a father to a child of his own. He's a great dad...better than my ex, but I can understand what it is to have kids of your own vs someone elses. I myself would love to have more children...I know how that sounds to some, but I have always wanted a big family. We have been trying since June to get pregnant. In January we miscarried. It crushed me. I teach at a small private school and pregnancy is in the water around here. Those who arent pregnant have new little ones. Recent additions: One teacher had a baby in December, two others are pregnant, one of our two subs is pregnant and so is one of the ladies that cooks in the kitchen. Which is how I found my way here to bnb...the cook found out today that she is having twins so everyone is rallying around her and all I can do is hide out in my classroom and eat lunch alone. Its been two months and I'm still not over it no matter how much I try. I want to be happy for everyone, but its like I'm being surrounded by the one thing that was taken from me and now someone has it twice over! All I want to do is cry! Its torture!! I have no idea how to get past it other than one foot in front of the other and praying for strength constantly. Words of wisdom, inspiration, consolation....???

 

[Mummy to be x]

I'm so sorry but I've no words to comfort you I recently had a loss too and it hurts every single day, I've one child from a previous relationship, OH has none and I too want a big family it's all I've ever dreamt of, I'm sorry I can't be any help but didn't want to read and run.

 

[Curligurl]

All you can do is take it one day at a time. You will never forget about you loss but you will eventually hurt less. I was completely devastated after each one if my MC. I felt so broken and alone. And it seemed like everyone was pregnant around me (especially the ones that didn't want a baby)! But I didn't let myself get too wrapped up in jealously or self pity. Instead I focused on building a loving relationship with my husband (we were newlywed at the time). Maybe if you can try to refocus you thoughts/energy in another direction???

 

[HappyPanda4]

Welcome! Im also new to bnb. I am so sorry for your loss and understand completely. After TTC for a year I got pregnant and we had a mc. No one was supportive and everyone wanted me to get over it so my sil could announce her pregnancy. It know how difficult it is to be surrounded by pregnancy. Take as long as you need to grieve. The pain will never fully go away but I promise it will get better. Just believe your time will come. Love your husband and your kids and just take one day at a time. XxHugsxX

 

[kits]

After a few weeks of total depression I turned my focus to being more informed & trying to get healthy. I had to force myself to become positive & clear my mind to start again.

I had my mc in November, still not fully over it. I work in a company where there's about 130 daddies, not sure if they're the best time models but who am I to judge. The other women who do have babies have either done hard core or soft core drugs during their pregnancies, not to mention never quit smoking & enjoyed alcohol at times.

I don't let it get me down, because being bitter would not be condusive to the happy babies I hope to have! Just try to focus on my own well being

On another note, I had a mc on Nov 25th. Christmas was devastating so I did over indulge in the odd dessert which led me back to the gym on Jan 17. Up until then I was wanting to break my whole 'wait for 2 whole cycles before trying again' order from my doctor but after trying to do a specific crunch with a personal trainer I decided to wait. I was physically unable to do it because of the sharp pain inside my uterus.

The day after I had my second period I had no problem doing any kind of crunches.

The only point I'm trying to make out of my own experience is that I needed that time to heal even though I was only pregnant for about 8&1/2 weeks.

I wish you the best of luck, the pain doesn't really ever go away but time let's you deal with it. Preparing for your next attempt helps too.

Hugs & baby dust

 

[Seanachai]

Thanks for all the support ladies. *hugs* I went home and cried on hubbys shoulder...threw myself into the weekend. Too much to do to wallow in my self pity! One thing is sure, the world doesnt stop.