News!! finally heard from fob!

[Sarahcake]

what a absolute prick!!
As said before, you and your little one are infinately better off without that jerk off.
Make sure you grab whatever cash out of him as you can.

I hope the mother sees sense and does the right thing for her grandchild.

I hope your ok also, id be fuming if i recieved that email personally.

 

[kaylynn040485]

Woadie: Omg how similar is the tone of voice in your letter and mine.... a really cold hard hearted response.
The two letters are really quite similar. How nasty. "This will be my last communication with you as there isnt any point of more...." Heart of stone...

I like your idea. It makes sense to me to wait and see what fob's mum does. I so hope she writes to me.

Kaylynn: "What a horrible, selfish boy!" Ha ha thats funny. I love some of the stuff people write. It really makes me laugh! Yes I think fob's mum will need to see that email at some point. It makes him look particularly nasty!!!!

It just drives me mad seeing these "boys" shirking there responsibilities. I am not a single mummy but me and OH went through a bad patch a couple of months ago and seperated for a bit and i was lucky that he was still very much involved and gave lots of financial help and it drives me crazy that these idiots get away with acting like this. They r all gonni regret it so much one day, probably when its too late! Its scary enough going it alone without them acting like tossers. Thinking of you Kx

 

[McLovin]

Hopefully she gets to see that email and when she does she'll be very ashamed to call that "man" her son and want to make it up to you and bubs.
I know it's kind of 'mind gamey', but so be it - sometimes it needs to be done (apologies if i sound like a nutter there - but I'm sure a lot of people agree...? I hope!)

 

[lou_w34]

Hopefully she gets to see that email and when she does she'll be very ashamed to call that "man" her son and want to make it up to you and bubs.
I know it's kind of 'mind gamey', but so be it - sometimes it needs to be done (apologies if i sound like a nutter there - but I'm sure a lot of people agree...? I hope!)

I agree!! heehee

I think she needs to see the email for herself, her son sounds like he's willing to use a few mind games himself to get what he wants... so i say lets use a few ourselves! haha

x

 

[Aidedhoney]

Oh my god what an arse............I am sure you and your baby will bee 100 times better off without him in your life.

I agree with showing his mum the email how dare he send that.

Good luck xx

 

[tinkerbellita]

Jesus what a tosser, I'm going through a similar thing as well, I've not heard from fob for almost 2 months. Had some contact with his sister but got me nowhere. How did u get hold of his parents address? I know my fob lives with his parents but in Madrid, and have no idea how to get the address even though I know his full name, DOB, even the area of Madrid he lives in but just cannot get an address.

I cannot believe how some of these arseholes live with themselves.

 

[suzanne108]

OMG!!!!!!! I've only just seen this.

What an absolute idiot!! The "honourable" thing....OMG. I'm in shock that these FOBs actually think this way!

And if he hadn't ignored you for the last 8 weeks you wouldn't have contacted his parents so he's no one to blame for that but himself.

If I was you I would reply that he won't hear from you again but you need his contact details for the CSA. Tell him you will save the emails so that the child can see them when he's older and choose whether he would like to contact his sperm donor.

I hope you're OK....its probably a kinda relief to have finally heard from him after all this time. But...wow, I'm kinda in shock over his stupid email.

xxx

 

[MissE007]

Can't say much that hasn't already been said. Sorry to hear what happened, a shame that he's been awol for so long and when he does contact you that is his response. Hopefully his mum will pull through, have some contact with the baby and maybe even encourage him to do the right thing by his own child.

 

[emmajane]

Just one negative thought - Did she def get the letter? I hope he didn't stop it getting to her?

 

[surprisebaby]

Lou Yeah well really it is more his responsibility to tell his mum and dad than yours about baby, but then if he doesn't tell them, then you do feel like they should know... so it only leaves you then to tell them! I suppose it seems an ok idea going to their house once baby is born. omg can you imagine the shock they'll get if they didn't know anything at all about it! I do think its nice to let them know. Hmm I have never met my fob's mum before. She lives in Ireland so I would need to take a trip over!!!! And I think they may live in the countryside so I don't know how I would find it.... but I may think about doing it if she doesn't reply....

Eternal Rose "So he has a voice then"!!!! ha ha He finally spoke!!! And broke out of the silence!! He is 21 years old. Omg that letter was great especially the bit about "I think we can safely say that the ship has sailed from a reconcilliation point of view, so please dont flatter yourself & let any " me " & " you " scenarios cloud any judgement or decisions you make from now on." Thats so funny, cos in his letter he is kinda saying that he thinks his life is more important than me or that he is worth more than me, so that kinda puts him in his place a little bit!
"CSA will be interested to hear that you can be contacted at your parents address". That should freak him out too! Cos he thinks somehow he can't be contacted there. I really liked this letter. I thought it had the right kind of attitude so I basically sent it the way it was and added a few bits and pieces!!! "but you will be hearing from me again either directly or indirectly"- I like this bit because its basically not giving him a choice, I'm telling him what's happening!!! The one I wrote before was just too kind and caring and I felt more confident sending your version, cos I thought it said everything really well!! Thanks Eternal!!

I think I will send a copy of his email, but I will wait a little while and see if she contacts me first.

Tinkerbillita I got his parent's address from knowing his parent's business website address. There is a website where you can find the addresses of anyone who owns a website domain. I think they can put this information as private, but thankfully my fob's parents did not do that I don't know how you would find your fob's parent's address. That is really frustrating that he has not been in touch for two months. What was the last thing he said? Did he say he was just gonna not speak to you again, or did he just disappear?

Suzanne--"I hope you're OK....its probably a kinda relief to have finally heard from him after all this time. But...wow, I'm kinda in shock over his stupid email".--- Yeah I'm ok. It is hurtful in a way, but at the same time I feel such a sense of closure and I feel at peace with the situation. I feel like I can move on now. That it's reached the end of something and has started a new phase. One where I am in a more powerful position. And thats a good feeling. I just feel that he is the one who will regret this. I have done everything the right way really (ok well I would say that) and he has behaved really badly in this and now everyone can see that. And if he doesn't see LO he will always have it at the back of his mind and in someways that is his punishment, not to be nasty about it, but thats the truth of the matter. He will always know he wasn't there for his son or there for the mother of his son through her pregnancy and he will just have to live with that on his conscience and how he choose himself and his single life over that of his first son...

EmmaJane ----"Just one negative thought - Did she def get the letter? I hope he didn't stop it getting to her?"----

He lives in Scotland studying his degree and his home address is in Ireland, so that couldn't have happened. He does go home for weekends sometimes and always for xmas, and other holiday times, but this week he would have uni, so I can safely say that she received the letter! And also he wouldn't have had any idea that I would send her a letter cos he would have thought I didn't know the address.

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and opinions. It is really helpful. I wonder what will happen next. It's like a soap drama. Its quite a good story line actually.....

 

[suzanne108]

The best feeling for me is that all these idiotic FOBs will one day feel regret over what they've done.

If they don't then they are more heartless than I first thought!

 

[surprisebaby]

The best feeling for me is that all these idiotic FOBs will one day feel regret over what they've done.

If they don't then they are more heartless than I first thought!

Yeah totally agree!

 

[emmajane]

Thats good. Sorry to sounded negative but sounds like you sent it just at the right time. I hope you hear from her soon as I can't believe what a weak son she has.

 

[EternalRose]

Hi ya hun,

Im glad you used the letter, its formal and takes any emotion out of the equation. He is expecting you to beg e.t.c and that ship has long sailed. Now you just have to put your feet up and wait but I have to say all of the women on this thread that are going through likewise, id admire you all for your strength!! I know deep down it cant be easy but keep your head held high, you have done nothing wrong. xxx

 

[Naya69]

omg what a nasty pill of shit you have there wow its ok to fill a pram yet not take on the responsibilty of pushing that pram most people will say be glad hes out of your life and move on but i say fight on i wouldnt let him get away with that.

i would give his parents a couple of weeks and the write to them again and send that note along but i wouldnt be hash with them because i bet they feel stuck in the middle so this would only just upset them.

i would write bk to him as well the little worm explaining that you would never let this lie and you will keep sending letters and emails left right and centre till he pulls his finger out of his arse and lives up to his role as a father.

i would also send pics of scans and if still no contact pics of baby to his parents iam sure then they will wont contact. but to be honest i would be making a trip over to ireland to talk face to face with them but i would take my mum or someone close for surport.

good luck i really hope she writes bk xx

 

[Abz1982]

Just to throw a curve ball here...................is there a possibility he parents actually told him what to put in the Email?

 

[surprisebaby]

Just to throw a curve ball here...................is there a possibility he parents actually told him what to put in the Email?

I suppose it's possible. It's hard to know when i haven't heard back from the parents. Maybe like him they are just trying to get rid of the situation i.e me and the baby. I suppose only time will tell. It will be very frustrating if his mum does not respond, cos then I won't know her viewpoint. There's nothing else I can do now but just and see what happens next. Although I do want to send what he wrote in a way, I think it's best to give them a little time to respond first.

Thanks for your thoughts about it though. cos if that were true it wouldn't be good to send his email!!!

 

[suzanne108]

Just to throw a curve ball here...................is there a possibility he parents actually told him what to put in the Email?

Kinda thinking the same thing.....my FOBs mum has been horrible to me and I do blame her for us splitting up more than I blame him. She's totally got him brainwashed and he can't seem to think for himself.

So yeah...I'd be careful. You would expect his mum to be on your side being a mother herself, but it doesn't always work that way.