No hope,it's all over:(

[Ruth2307]

If you're feeling up to it tomorrow you'll see my post. (You were still showing as online when I started reading and the by the time i got to the end you'd signed off)

My dearest Despie. What can I say? Words fails me and anything I do say seems so inadequate. I am truly sorry for your loss.

You know how fond of you I have grown and hearing your sad news and reading about your pain has made me cry.

Please grieve as much as you need to and lean on your husband. And of course we'll here too.

 

[crystal443]

I'm so sorry Take some time before you decide on anything and make sure you and your DH take care of each other

 

[sammy1205]

I am sooooo sorry.
I have to agree with others, maybe the MW cares for you but "Buy a puppy" WTF is that!
That is soooooo unprofessional. Get a second opinion. ((HUGS)))

 

[zanDark]

I'm so sorry for your loss

"get a puppy" is just an unacceptable thing to say it doesn't matter if this is your first, second, fifth, twentieth child...it's your baby and it's heartbreaking that the little bean has grown wings

 

[LillyLove]

I am so sorry. I know how excited you were, and others on this board that were cheering you on. (WE ARE STILL CHEERING YOU ON!) I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Miss_C]

Desperado I am so very very sorry for your loss I am also sorry you had to listen to total and utter BS. Find another RE or FS or whatever they are called there and have them help you support the pregnancy etc. Much as most midwives are wonderful they are there for the AFTER not the before.

Take time to grive this loss and then grab the bull by the horns and be really proactive and don't listen to NO.

We are all here for you!

 

[Bubba3]

Oh Despie , I wondered about you yesterday as you hadn't checked in for a while.
I am so so sorry. As the other girls have said the mw may have been someone you trust but that was at best clumsy at worst hurtful and cruel at a time when your totally raw which is un acceptable .
My best friend was desperate for her third . I watched her go through mc after mc some of those angels lived for quite a few weeks. I watched her go through so much heart ache . Her mum told her time to give up , but they didn't and their lo is here and loved to bits.
I agree that it doesn't matter which no baby it is it hurts all the same.
Were here Despie , even if it is just virtual were with you every painful step of the way. Were all on your shoulder cheering you on and at the moment feeling sad for your loss.
Take time , be together , don't give up .

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry Please don't give up half these doctors are quacks. Sending much love to you XOXOOXOX

 

[Angelicdragon]

Desperado I am so sad and sorry to read of your news. My heart goes out to you hun. I truly know the desire you feel and the devastation this is causing you.
As for the midwife, I know she is talking professionally not with her heart. I would say she has never had ladies our age in her care. Most ladies I know would be referred to a high risk OB.
There are many women around the world now and in ages past who have had babies at our age and beyond. I mentioned previously about a thread I found online posted by women over 49 having a baby. There were 3 aged 50 and one aged 51. They all had healthy babies so it can be done hun.
I am holding onto that hope and hope you can hang onto the same lifeline these ladies offer.
Just think generations ago there was no birth control and it was not unheard of to hear of women still having babies in their late 40's and early 50's while their daughters were also having babies of their own. Here in our mountain valley with a history going back to 1817 there are numerous families with 14+ children and the youngest being years younger than their nieces and nephews.
Keep the hope hun.
Take some time to grieve your little one and recover but don't lose sight of the rainbow.
big hugs and love to you
Jude

 

[LLbean]

oh NO!!!!!!!!!!!

I am literally in tears for you Desperado...how could this be? I don't even know what to say

I certainly have smacked the midwife though...she may have the best intentions but her comments and suggestions were crude and mean in my opinion.

Look it is up to you, you can keep on trying or even not try and not prevent, you know? I swear stranger things have happened.

I'm here for you sweetie

 

[Indigo77]

Despie...I just don't know what to say....My heart is broken....for you and your little baby...your tenth angel...so very sorry....

 

[onmymind17]

Just feel so alone and empty,I wanted my baby so much it hurts,I hope he didn't feel any pain ,just can't stop crying,

Oh honey my heart is just breaking for you, you are not alone, i am with you in spirit, holding your hand and hugging you. I know exactly how you feel, you go ahead and cry sweetheart, you mourn the loss of your little one, for now thats all you need to do or think about.

 

[sarahincanada]

our beautiful Desperado167 my heart is still breaking for you

her words do sound mean, but Im assuming she has seen what you have been through and was trying to spare you more pain, even though the words didnt come out right. only you can make the decision whether to keep trying or not, I just wish they could know what was happening and so you could move around it or fix it. I wonder if you can go to another specialist that has some kind of advanced testing? you have had 3 children I think already so I cant believe its impossible.

you are a special lady with 10 angels looking after you, even though its so devestating thats also such a wonderful thing and Im sure they will guide you through your life and make sure everything is ok.

 

[momof3wants5]

I amso sorry. I don't know you but my heart is broken for you. Your post made me cry. I know the pain of that loss - my m/c was a long time ago but it all came back to me just now.

Be happy with the blessings you have and the DH that stands behind you. I know that doesn't help much right now - but know that you are blessed. And thought of from here - I am so sorry.

Hugs Hugs Hugs

 

[Reb S]

Desperado, I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts and heart xxx

 

[Mellybelle]

Just popping in with more . Hope you slept ok.

 

[Desperado167]

Morning everyone,just read thru all your posts and I just want to thank u all from the bottom of my heart ,I feel like my heart has been ripped in two but knowing I have all u guys makes me so much stronger,dh finding it hard but is giving me lots of hugs,he has loads of work on and can't let people down as he's self employed but the kids are keeping me busy,they have been lovely and shared a bed with me last nite as I just couldn't sleep without them,so our kingside bed held six last nite,not much sleep but it helped having them near me,I know I will see all my little angels one day and have to content myself with that otherwise I just couldn't cope,I just keep asking myself why but that's a question no-one but god can answer ,love and prayers to u all and thank you,

 

[Suki73]

Desperado,

I'm so, so sorry about this - your news is heartbreaking. I agree with others that the mw was probably trying to say what *she* thought was best for you, but her timing was dreadful and her words were very blunt and clumsy.

Only you and your DH can decide how you want to proceed, and you need to give yourself a break and be extra specially nice to yourself for a while. Personally, I don't believe you should give up, but what do I know, I can only imagine the kind of distress you've been in.

Take it very very easy, dear and remember there are loads of people on here who clearly are rooting for you whatever you decide.

x

 

[Macwooly]

I'm glad you are finding strength and comfort from your DH and children

Sending more for you today

 

[Jax41]

Desp I wish I could be with you to give you a proper hug, I'm so sorry that this keeps happening to you.... I've made a beautiful picture in my mind of you, DH and your lovely children all snuggled up together last night, I can feel the love

Loads of luv Despie, I'm sure you will know what you want to do when then have passed a little.

Always here for you

xXx