not coping so well, I don't really know where I belong

[Frindabelle]

Hey there,
I finished first cycle of IVF on 12th March with a BFN.
I don't really know wha to do with myself.
Some days I'm ok about it and feel positive about the next cycle and then the very next day I am feeling really awful and I'm not sure about going through it again

I'm very fortunate to have NHS funding but I know that next time it'll be my last go (none frozen from previous cycle) because we have no savings.

I'm terrified and I just don't know what to do with myself, my review appointment isn't until the 20th April!

This is a really pointless thread isn't it?
Just need some people to talk to to help me make sense of it IYKWIM??

Lots of Hugs to you all

 

[wishful think]

Aw Frindabelle, u poor thing. Sending u lots of Of course its not a pointless thread, you're just looking for an ear to listen. Well we are here for u, dont give up hope

 

[Frindabelle]

Thank you Honey I really appreciate it
xxx

 

[BigFoot1980]

I am so sorry hun! Definitely not a pointless thread, that's exactly why we are all here, to support each other.

 

[hayz1981]

Hi hun, I'm so sorry that your first IVF didn't work.

I really hope your review appointment goes well, it must seem like a long way off. I hope it comes around quickly. In the meantime, look after yourself and maybe treat yourself!

Second cycles often go a lot better because your clinic now know how you respond to the medication etc.

 

[- Butterfly -]

Aww so sorry you got a BFN. Although it's difficult try and remain positive about the next cycle. Although we are lucky to get funding from the NHS it does feel very sad for us all to have to wait wait wait for everything.

20th April will be here before you know it.

Take care x

 

[Frindabelle]

Thank you so much, just really feeling rotten today. I wish I knew why this had to be so blimmin' hard.
Hayz- you're right, that's all i'm kind of hopeful for is that 'if' there is anything that needs adjusting it can be done on the 2nd go.

Butterfly-Just seen your signature and to say I'm sorry for your losses hun, you are very brave

xxxx

 

[R&G2007]

Fingers crossed for your next cycle.

 

[ineedaseed]

so sorry to hear about the first attempt i hope that the next few weeks pass quickly and your next appt is soon here.
in the mean time, we are here to chat and help you through the tough days.
i am local to you, feel free to PM me if you want to chat xx

 

[Faithpatience]

Dear Frindabelle,

Dont loose hope, I know its easy said than done..but all of us are in the same situation..and never think that its "pointless thread"..this is a place where we get support and encouragement..we can share our pains and successes...
be bold and brave..Hope this time u get ur BFP..

 

[Beckic]

Oh hun - I know how awful it is. Add i think the hardest part for me has always been about two weeks after the BFN - when you (and your DH) feel like you should be getting over it but you cant and you beat yourslef up about it - but please dont worry sweets - its all normal. I think we spend months planning the IVF and imagining how it will feel in the weeks after when we are pregnant - and then when we arent everything reminds you of the hope you had and now its gone - i am going to a wedding at the weekend that I was convinced I would be going to preggers and wouldnt be able to drink!
It gets easier as you head into our next round - but for now you need a coping strategy - i found the following helped me...

1. Get on the phone and get a cancellation appt. for the review - i brought mine forward a month by ringing everyday until I got a cancellation. it gives you sopmething to focus on and 'to do'.
2.I got back to sorting my body out before the next cycle - so I dieted and excercised so that I would feel good about myslef again after all thsoe bloating drugs. And never underestimate the power of a new haircut!
3. spend lots of time with your OH doing fun stuff - like going to your favourite restaruants etc.. - I know I found the drugs realy messed with my hormones and I could be evil to DH in the TWW - so i used the break in between treatments to just get our relationaship back on track. Oh - and I got lots of fun BD'in as well!!
4. Just fill your time as much as you can - I tend to get really down when I am sitting at hoem with nothing to do except google 'failed IVF' and think about babies - so keep yourself busy - nights out with friends (preferably the ones without kids!) keeps you sane and help you realsie that life can make you smile occassionaly.

Really feel for you hun - sending you lots of hugs,

BX x x

 

[DragonMummy]

ah sorry for your bfn. have you looked at any private clinics that do egg sharing? because that takes ivf costs down to almost nothing so it's not necessarily the end of the road. I know it might not be what you want to hear right now but perhaps the pressure of it being your last chance might be liffted somewhat. xxx