not doing so well.

[TryinFor1]

this is more of a pity post so I understand if I don't get replies.

This pregnancy was unplanned and while I am excited and warming up to the idea, I am having a hard time with it.

With my son, I ate healthy and stayed hydrated. With this one, I am finding it difficult to eat at all purely because I didn't really eat between having ds and getting pregnant. I did pretty well with eating healthy in the first tri but more recently, I won't eat till three in the afternoon and its not something that is usually that healthy, not really awful for you, just not what it could be. I am lucky to drink 2-3 bottles of water a day when I need 5-6.

I still take my prenatal, still no drinking, still no smoking.

I think a major issue with this pregnancy is also that my anxiety level is through the roof. I am always certain I am dying or getting some serious illness and it is difficult to feel that way when I have my baby inside me. I can handle if its just me its happening to, but its unbearable thinking of something hurting my baby. I have had several major anxiety attacks, been hysterical and on Google for days regarding different illnesses. Its debilitating sometimes and really really gets to me. So far this pregnancy, I though I had taxo, worms from undercooked pork (that wasn't undercooked), salmonella, and rocky mountain fever/Lyme disease from a tick bite. Ahh!

As I said before I am warming up to being pregnant, I am finding out what I am having next month and I really think it will help me connect even more. I am just scared and nervous and that is overshadowing the happiness right now.

I have a doctors appointment today and I am going to mention the anxiety and how serious it is. I don't want to take anything pill wise but maybe he has some other suggestions. I am worried he will fob me off.

Sorry, I sound so down and irritating. Lol I am excited for the pregnancy and to have a squishy little baby again. I am excited to be pregnant, go through labor, try breastfeeding again. I am excited to go through the milestones. I am excited to make my lo a big brother cause I know he will be the best. I just wish I was taking better care of myself and had my anxiety under control for the baby's sake.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! I don't normally make these kinds of threads but my.family just thinks I am nuts and dh just gets angry.

 

[NandO1]

I hope your doctors appt went well and sending you massive hugs xxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Sometimes I think about how lucky people were before the invention of Google. I swear everyone has something that they Google the crap out of, whether it's diseases, miscarriages, symptom spotting, twins, etc. and drive themselves crazy. But I hope your doctor has some techniques or strategies for helping you deal with the anxiety. I've dealt with it a bit in my life as well, and what helps me is saying a quick prayer for the Lord to give me comfort (although I understand if you're not religious, this may not be that relevant for you).

Anyway, big hugs. Pregnancy is hard enough without all the worry that comes with it.

 

[cncem]

My advice to you is get off the computer! Google is not your friend right now. I used to google every ailment and get all worked up thinking I have this or that and my husband would always get irritated. About the eating, your baby will not starve, she'll get by on your stored energy, but you will. I'm a sahm and now that it's summer break I like to sleep in late, but if I go too long I'll wake up starving and usually with a headache. I usually get headaches when I go too long without eating. Hope everything looks up for you soon!

 

[Dreambaby69]

just want to give u hugs hun. Hope u start to feel better soon and hope ur doc has a good strategy for u x

 

[Rickles]

Hugs hun - you'll get there, we all have ups and downs - and stay off google in the meantime xx

 

[TryinFor1]

Thank you everyone

He said drugs are the way to go if its that bad. It is. It is bad. But I dunno if I can take a pill, not that I am saying anything bad to people who do, I just feel like I would freak out more over taking it! Its Zoloft. He said its safe in pregnancy and breastfeeding and it will really help. and his wife took it her pregnancies for anxiety.

Lol I love Google when it tells me what I wanna hear! haha. But seriously, Google really is a curse and a blessing.

I really appreciate you guys taking the time to comment! It means a lot!

On a happier note, I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today and it was in the 140s. That was where my sons was so can't wait to find out! I called to get a private gender scan too on my birthday so I will know the gender July 17, less than a month away!! Something to look forward to! I feel better after hearing the heartbeat. It makes me feel more excited for everything that is to come.

I am giving the Zoloft a little thought before diving into it. I fully trust my doctor and he said he wouldn't give me anything he even thinks would hurt my baby, which I know. He also said if I am ever feeling overly anxious to give their office a call and he will talk me through the anxiety. So that was nice. I dunno. We will see.

Thanks again everyone, really.

 

[RcdM]

Remember you have to take care of yourself first in order to take care of your unborn baby. So if taking care of yourself means taking a pill, that may be the best thing for your baby as well. Best of luck to you!

 

[AMB1216]

You sound a lot like me, I have AWFUL anxiety and hate waiting 4 weeks between OB visits. I'll be fine for about a week after a visit then I'm all worries. I also have not eaten as well as I should be, and only drink 1-2 things a day. Its gotten to the point where I craved a salad and water. So of course I got those two things.
Sometimes I worry about my baby with how much junk I eat, literally I eat chocolate and french fries every day....it's bad.
but then I think about the people who didn't know they were pregnant and took no prenatals, weren't careful about what they ate, maybe smoked and drank during their pregnancy and they had healthy babies. I also think about that episode of 16 & pregnant with the girl who was anorexic and would skip meals and he baby was around 8 lbs.
I'm not saying don't try to eat better or more often but when I think of all the people who don't eat great and still have healthy babies I feel a bit better about it.

 

[TryinFor1]

I am the same way amb. That is what I think about and it makes me feel better. I haven't done well today at all. Had Mexican for lunch, and a huge corndog from a carnival.

As for the anxiety, I decided to not take a pill for it. I just can't justify it and I feel like I am being selfish. I will take it after I have the baby if I need to.