"Not meant to be"

[Dreamermama]

After I had my miscarriage I told some of my friends, throughout my life I always bottled up my feelings whenever something horrible happened and I learned that's the worst way to go, so I turned a new leaf. But after a while I regretted telling some people about the mc,
two of my friends told me "It wasn't meant to be" I seriously wanted to slap them, that is the worst thing they could've said to me!
why not say: "I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm here for you"

But now after 4 months ttc (I took break first month after mc) I'm starting to believe it wasn't meant to be.... not right now anywase....
Since my mc my cycles have been so messed up! I used to have perfect 34 day cycles, now I ovulate anytime between 17 and 34 dpo, wth?? because of this every month now I have BD on the wrong days, I keep missing my ovulation! it's almost like my body is playing a joke on me, it's starting to feel like divine intervention!

I hate that stupid expression, I can't believe now it may be coming true.... If I miss ovulation again this month I think I may take the hint and stop ttc for a while....

 

[AngelBaby1115]

After I had my miscarriage I told some of my friends, throughout my life I always bottled up my feelings whenever something horrible happened and I learned that's the worst way to go, so I turned a new leaf. But after a while I regretted telling some people about the mc,
two of my friends told me "It wasn't meant to be" I seriously wanted to slap them, that is the worst thing they could've said to me!
why not say: "I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm here for you"

But now after 4 months ttc (I took break first month after mc) I'm starting to believe it wasn't meant to be.... not right now anywase....
Since my mc my cycles have been so messed up! I used to have perfect 34 day cycles, now I ovulate anytime between 17 and 34 dpo, wth?? because of this every month now I have BD on the wrong days, I keep missing my ovulation! it's almost like my body is playing a joke on me, it's starting to feel like divine intervention!

I hate that stupid expression, I can't believe now it may be coming true.... If I miss ovulation again this month I think I may take the hint and stop ttc for a while....

Oh sweet heart don't get discouraged, my dh & I have been ttc for 8 years and just got our first this oct & mc in november. Our time will come, I know it sucks hearing it wasnt meant to be trust and believe I've heard it seems like 1000x times now. And just keep in mind sperm can live up to 72 hours inside so even if you are on the "wrong day" you still have a very good chance of catching the egg. Just try not to stress that only makes things worse, just focus onbeing good to yourself & enjoy life. I know easier said then done, we just lost ours last month. So I know the pain & frustration you find yourself dealing with. And I wish you the best & lots of

 

[Twinkie210]

Awww don't buy into it! And BDing on the "right" days doesn't always work either. Me and DH have BD'd the 3 days before O and the day of O for the last 3 cycles and still no BFP. I should be Oing today, so hopefully this month has a better outcome! My O day varies a lot too, have you ever tried OPKs? It will give you 12-36 hour notice before O.

 

[SabrinaKat]

please don't give up -- my cycles went completely wonky after my mc (21 to 44 days) whereas before, they were pretty regular (within 28-35 days) -- perhaps just open/extend the days you 'do the deed'? We were recommended to try from day 7 to day 30 (!)/oh, sorry - every other/third day from day 7.... and the very month we were going to start IVF proper (had done the bloods), I got pregnant naturally and the ob/gyn thinks it was around day 10, so please, please, please know that just because your cycles are a bit annoying, it can happen....

also, have you had your thyroid checked? I never knew I had a problem (underactive) until we did pre-IVF bloods and even before the medication was at the right level, my periods went to about 25-35 days and the month the medication was adjusted, I got a perfect 28 cycle and then, preggo! (also have PCOS, and took metformin).

as for those people and their negativity, well....it doesn't help because nothing is worse than an mc/loss and then trying again, but try and do something positive maybe? learn to knit? take a class? something to occupy your mind?

best wishes

ps. it was two years post-mc before we got lucky, so I completely understand the frustration, anguish, etc.

 

[Dreamermama]

Aww, your words really cheered me up ladies. I'm sorry for all your losses, I wish you all good healing.
I have to stop being so negative, since I mc it's my new flaw. I'll have to make a good new years resolution...
It's hard to bd at right times w my OH because he works weird shifts that cycle, sometimes he's gone 7 days at a time.
What happened last month is we bd 6 times in the week I thought I was ov, but then I didn't see him for 6 days, so turned out I didn't bd at all in what was really my fertile period, but then I bd exactly the day after real ov! I was sooo mad! Except now it's kind of funny....

I actually had a borderline thyroid problem according to my doctor 4 years ago.
So I thought for sure that's what caused mc, but then they did a huge amount of bloodwork and everything turned out perfect, in fact my doctor was impressed how healthy I was.... So I have no idea why it happened!
But I was speaking with friend who has major thyroid problems n she says there're two ways to test for thyroid problem, so apparently I need to do the second test before I get the all clear (I still have the symptoms, craving so much salt, constant fatigue... Did you have any symptoms, Sabrinakat?
Also, what is metmorphin, how does it work?
And how do they diagnose PCOS?
Since mc I've been getting terrible and very painful cysts everymonth, I never had them before.
But both my aunts get cysts as well and they don't have pcos

 

[SabrinaKat]

I had the combined PCOS/underactive thyroid problems, which included tiredness, weight gain (and very difficult to lose weight -- I lost 40-45 lbs last year over the year as only exercise and very healthy eating helped and that was a lb a week (growl!)), erratic cycles (not always absent, but not within the seven days, mine were 21 to 44 days), also hairiness (but I didn't have a problem with that), always feeling the cold, etc. so the symptoms between the two are pretty similar. I know I had PCOS as had a scan back in my 20s which showed cysts, etc., but when I had another scan earlier this year, no cysts, but my thyroid, which had never been checked was borderline -- my specialist ob/gyn said no need for medication, but my GP over-ruled and put me on medication (and re-adjusted in May).

Metformin is glucophage, which can help with the regulation of insulin (as PCOS ladies have a difficulty in regulating blood sugar (not as severe as diabetes) and has been shown in some studies to decrease the rate of miscarriage (from 58% to 10%, altho other studies disagree). I am NOT diabetic, but my overall glucose tolerance is slower than the ordinary person, so, for instance, when I had my glucose tolerance test last week, my first result was fine but after the sugar drink, was slightly high, but not gestational diabetes, etc.

It is the tiredness that is one of the main indicators for thyroid, pCOS and/or anaemia, so I would ask your doctor to rerun the various blood tests, and have your thyroid done on days 1, 2 or 3 of your cycle, as that is the number they use to determine whether it is too high (which means underactive)....

I know that this is a very difficult time, but with perserverance and persistence, it will happen (and I was 43 when I conceived this little fellow, so try not to worry too much about age)....

best wishes