not sure I dare even ask it...

[Natsby]

..but what will you do if the bfp never happens. Or is that just too awful to contemplate? I would be a mess, and then I think I would start some serious round the world travel, drag OH to live in some wild and exotic child unfriendly places. Probably end up living with monkeys or something.

 

[dachsundmom]

..but what will you do if the bfp never happens. Or is that just too awful to contemplate? I would be a mess, and then I think I would start some serious round the world travel, drag OH to live in some wild and exotic child unfriendly places. Probably end up living with monkeys or something.

I was just sitting here thinking about this, so funny you should post it. I would be heartbroken, there's no doubt about it, but when I really dig deeper into it, I've realized a few things:

I love my DH and if we don't get a BFP, we still love each other. We have a 14yo DD, who happened to be away this week on a school trip, and for the first time in years, I experienced some freedom...I could get used to it, lol. I have always wanted to do humanitarian aid somewhere and if we don't have another, I can seriously do that in just a few years.

On the other hand, I won't get to be a mommy again! I go back and forth with this constantly, but in the end, with or without another child, I have a great life that I wouldn't trade for anything...

I hope however it all works out for you, that you find contentment in it and sheer joy!

 

[Butterfly67]

Well as I am already 43 I feel that there really is no guarantee of getting a bfp. Also I have a volunteer BF and he is not going to be available to 'help out' indefinitely so I figure I only have about 6 months of trying if that.

If it doesn't work I am seriously thinking of looking into adoption from abroad which I think I can do as long as I am under 45.

 

[sarahincanada]

To be honest I have never had that crazy urge to be a mother, was always a career girl. its not that I didnt want kids, always wanted a family but wanted that 'later'. well time flew by and here I am 38.

but the last few years I have really warmed to the idea and would love to start a family. if it didnt happen after trying treatments Im sure I will be really upset. but I would definitely consider adoption. or I would also become a world traveller.

I guess I have always believed I will be a mum, so its hard to think about it not happening as I believe it will

 

[dachsundmom]

To be honest I have never had that crazy urge to be a mother, was always a career girl. its not that I didnt want kids, always wanted a family but wanted that 'later'. well time flew by and here I am 38.

but the last few years I have really warmed to the idea and would love to start a family. if it didnt happen after trying treatments Im sure I will be really upset. but I would definitely consider adoption. or I would also become a world traveller.

I guess I have always believed I will be a mum, so its hard to think about it not happening as I believe it will

I hope it happens for you and I happen to be adopted, so I can't say anything bad about that! Lol. I get the career dilemma, but did it a little differently. I had my daughter at 24, but then threw myself into my career. I am sad to say that she spent a lot of time in daycare. I guess part of me wants a do over.

 

[Indigo77]

adoption...travel...volunteer work...another degree...fun classes like cooking, painting, scuba-diving, etc...

 

[Natsby]

SO nice to hear that many of you know you would survive it and get on with other things. I agree with you Dashundmom, life is pretty good and I´m lucky and I have to remember that won´t change if I don´t get to be a mummy.
SOmetimes I feel my body clocking is ticking so loudly I can´t hear anything else, like a sensible argument that a childless life has it´s advantages too. I still hope sooo much it will work, but if it doesn´t well I´ll find another type of life and live it to the full.
Anyway, hope none of us have to find out, baby dust all round.

 

[dachsundmom]

Well ladies, I hope none of us ever have to face this, but I know that we will all come though it as best we can! I wish you all such luck!

 

[Indigo77]

there is something to be said for no kids....life of leisure....more money.....live where you want, not where the best schools are....etc....etc...etc...it actually sounds preferable right about now...as I type this...hmmmm....but then again, why do i always feel like adopting a puppy right before AF's arrival?

 

[dachsundmom]

there is something to be said for no kids....life of leisure....more money.....live where you want, not where the best schools are....etc....etc...etc...it actually sounds preferable right about now...as I type this...hmmmm....but then again, why do i always feel like adopting a puppy right before AF's arrival?

Lol! I got two last winter and I will gladly ship the doxie, free of charge to you! Just be aware, he is a POASA too; he'll pee on anything you have- even more so when realizes it is an item of value!

 

[Indigo77]

oh noooo....not a pee-er....oh but doxies are so damn cute.......luv them....

 

[dachsundmom]

oh noooo....not a pee-er....oh but doxies are so damn cute.......luv them....

Porkchop's only saving grace is that he is so damned cute, lol! Otherwise, we'd be having a long conversation about a shock collar! I am just kidding, sometimes I just need to vent about the dog, especially as I look at the destruction he just did to a magazine, in less than 30 seconds.

 

[Macwooly]

Well DH & I tried in 2009 for 11 cycles with no success and were told we would not get a BFP without IVF and we're now too old to get it on the NHS so we've had loads of conversations about what if we never get a baby.

So if we're not blessed with children then we're still blessed to have each other, a strong marriage, our health and our furbabies.

And we do have a huge holiday (a month round USA probably in an RV) planned for about 2025 when the mortgage will be cleared and all our dogs & cats will have gone to pet heaven and if we're blessed with a baby then they'll be old enough to enjoy the holiday with us.

But I do hope no-one on this thread has to face the future without getting their BFPs and a sticky bean

 

[Desperado167]

Well DH & I tried in 2009 for 11 cycles with no success and were told we would not get a BFP without IVF and we're now too old to get it on the NHS so we've had loads of conversations about what if we never get a baby.

So if we're not blessed with children then we're still blessed to have each other, a strong marriage, our health and our furbabies.

And we do have a huge holiday (a month round USA probably in an RV) planned for about 2025 when the mortgage will be cleared and all our dogs & cats will have gone to pet heaven and if we're blessed with a baby then they'll be old enough to enjoy the holiday with us.

But I do hope no-one on this thread has to face the future without getting their BFPs and a sticky bean

I really hope that as well,

 

[Indigo77]

oh noooo....not a pee-er....oh but doxies are so damn cute.......luv them....

Porkchop's only saving grace is that he is so damned cute, lol! Otherwise, we'd be having a long conversation about a shock collar! I am just kidding, sometimes I just need to vent about the dog, especially as I look at the destruction he just did to a magazine, in less than 30 seconds.

Porkchop ....great name...

Our dog, Lola, chewed up the dog obedience book from the library...

 

[dachsundmom]

oh noooo....not a pee-er....oh but doxies are so damn cute.......luv them....

Porkchop's only saving grace is that he is so damned cute, lol! Otherwise, we'd be having a long conversation about a shock collar! I am just kidding, sometimes I just need to vent about the dog, especially as I look at the destruction he just did to a magazine, in less than 30 seconds.

Porkchop ....great name...

Our dog, Lola, chewed up the dog obedience book from the library...

That my dear, is the sign of a very intelligent dog! Or a really pissed off one, lol. I love hearing about other people's pets!

 

[Baby4MJ]

..but what will you do if the bfp never happens. Or is that just too awful to contemplate? I would be a mess, and then I think I would start some serious round the world travel, drag OH to live in some wild and exotic child unfriendly places. Probably end up living with monkeys or something.

I think about that often and know it will be a lifelong heartbreak, certainly - mainly because I know what a wonderful father my DH would be, and how deserving he is of children. He's so fabulous with our nieces (now 9 and 11), whom we've been incredibly close to since their births - we even took them to Disneyworld when their parents wouldn't! DH and I both had very tough childhoods, so we both feel we can "undo" the wrongs we suffered by giving our child(ren) the childhood we never had. After 2 years TTC, and being that we're older, it is a very real possibility that our sticky BFP may never happen. However, we have an incredibly strong marriage and realize that the love we have for each other is the most important thing we have in life. So we will continue to try and continue to pray for that miracle baby until there is no longer any hope. It's in God's hands. I just pray God sees fit to make us parents.

and wishes for much deserved BFPS to all!!

 

[velo]

I would look into adoption. Obviously though there are more people wanting to adopt healthy infants than healthy infants needing adoption, and I would like to nurture a child through all stages of life. I don't care so much about the child being biologically related to me, but I still would like the whole experience of pregnancy and bonding through breastfeeding.

 

[dachsundmom]

I would look into adoption. Obviously though there are more people wanting to adopt healthy infants than healthy infants needing adoption, and I would like to nurture a child through all stages of life. I don't care so much about the child being biologically related to me, but I still would like the whole experience of pregnancy and bonding through breastfeeding.

I completely get where you are coming from; I am adopted, DH and I have talked about adopting, but IDK. Best wishes to you!

 

[Jax41]

I'd feel gutted, incomplete, unfulfilled and have a HUGE feeling of regret and I'd be scared about the future when I'm ancient and on my own and who would I leave my millions too.......!!! God I sound so insecure and I'm not really, I have all the things that you have in all your posts, but somehow (and this is going to sound awful bad) they just don't seem quite enough at the moment...... But we ARE GOING TO BE MUMMIES!!!!!!!xXx