Not sure if right forum but why do i feel this way??

[lilwelsh1]

i just wanna send u loads and loads of u have had a difficult time, your baby has had a difficult time and 6 weeks isnt long, not only do u have to recover emotionally from a pretty stressful birth u have to physically recover from the episiotomy and birth in general, summer will need to recover from her op which would be draining on u too as ur LO had to go thru that so soon after getting her into your arms. Its a lot to digest in such a short time. Feeling like everythings getting away from u is perfectly normal.

I echo what all others have said, u r NOT a crap mum.

Is there anyway u could let your partner know how u r feeling? Ask him to support u with night feeds? Do u have family or close friends who could help u in the day? Not necessarily to come n take care of baby but to keep u company, so u can have someone to talk to even if its about eastenders.

I know asking for help can be hard but maybe u could speak to a g.p or your health visitor. Theres nothing wrong with explaining how u feel to them, they would have heard it all before and wont be shocked or judge u. I was terrified of asking for help when i had PND after my DD was born in fact it took me a year and i told my midwife when i discovered i was pregnant for a 2nd time. I'm not suggesting u have PND i believe u have just been through a lot of stress and upset and this can have a huge impact on your emotions and thoughts. As much as u probably dont feel like it or feel u have no time try n do something for u each day even if its straightening your hair, putting on make up or even just standing in the garden for 5 mins listening to the sounds around u. That way u can distract yourself from thinking about the birth and operation. I dont know if u do but if u find yourself staying in or turning down invites by your friends then push yourself to go out even if its to the shops with summer, get some fresh air and show her off. The scar will fade away over time and u will come to terms with the rollercoaster journey that was the beginning of her life. Allow yourself some time and try and be positive. U r doing a great job, u clearly care enough to say on here how u feel and that doesnt say crap mum to me. take one day at a time and speak to OH he needs to be there for u and help with night feeds because tiredness only adds to feelings of poor motivation and low mood. Xxx

 

[JustMe.]

Thankyou everyone

Its strange because today I have felt fine, is that normal in PND or if it is PND would I feel crap ALL the time?
I do feel as if i need to go over n over the birth and labour and what happened, i find myself thinking every little bit through n through in my head and its like its all clogged up in my mind and i need to talk it out if that makes sense?

Its weird cause when i was in labour, its like my parts of my memory cut out as i can only remember some parts of it and other parts are just blank, and little bits keep coming back to me. Sort of like i was very drunk and the next day i cant remember anything that happened but then as time passes by little things start to come back to me. Obviously i wasnt very drunk tho lol!
I hadnt slept for 24 hours so not sure if that could be why parts of it are blacked out.

anyway thanks for all the advice x

 

[SugarFairy]

I can't answer your new question but just bumping your thread so maybe someone else can x

 

[londonangel]

I know I'm just echoing what others have said, but I would really advise going and speaking to your doctor. It does sound as though you have a touch of post-natal depression and it is completely understandable that you feel as you do - your baby was ill, you went through a traumatic labour, you're still worried about your baby and you feel that your partner is unsupportive. Even women who have fantastic labours, brilliantly supportive partners and completely healthy babies can get post-natal depression. Hopefully they doctor will be able to give you some coping mechanisms and they may even prescribe something for you if they think that is appropriate. I'd also try sitting down with your partner and explaining that you do need his help with the baby, as it is his baby too and it is very tiring and draining for you to feel that you are the only one looking after her.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Mammy2emily]

Hi i am currentlly sittin by my daughters cotside in hospital. Shes just over a week old, born 26th july she was constantly being sick and bringing up water. She was allowed home on the wednesday night deapite her sickness. She wasnt well at all at home and ealth visitor came out on thurs and saidshe was fine and then she started fittin whicj i thought was a newborn twitch. We brought her back to hospital last friday. She was dehydrated and critically ill and fitting. Ultrasound scans on her stomach showed duodenal atresia, her kidneys wernt working and she has had a bleed to her brain due to the fits. They spent 72 hours rehydrating her getting her stable for her op on monday. I have a 4 yr old at home and they rexkon she could be her for around 3-4 weeks. She is takin her continueus feeds really well and had her 1st poo today which brought tears to my eyes. She also has a picc line in. Me and her dad are finding it hard and are takin turns in stayin over night. We have to remind the nurses to give her pain relief and tale her temp and drain back her tubes.

I never expected any of this i wish i had of got that growth scan that the midwife was gonna send me for but didnt. It would have showed her duodenal atresia, she isnt DS she wud never have fitted with dehydration and got the bleed if this was found out in pregnancy. She may have disabilities but we dont know until her development starts.

I feel angry at the fact i dont smoke i dnt drink i took folic acid had healthy diet had all the signs of her DA in pregnancy but never got detected. I did everything to protect her but unfortunately its a condition that cant e helped and develops in early stages of pregnancy.

Seems like u have lost the bond that should have been established in them 1st couple of weeks. I feel like losing mine sometimes but then she'll do something that shows she needs me and am smiling again. I just keep thinkin i could have lost her and the fact i have her here am very lucky. Just enjoy everything and every moment and things will get better. If u need to talk am here hope baby is doing well

Dee x

 

[mialou09]

Hi i spoke to you a while back coz my little one was born with a similar problem. Like other people have said it was no way ur fault what happened. I myself found it irritating, no one being able to explain why it all happened and i found the whole hospital situation distressing, especially as i had another 2 girls at home that needed me. It would be difficult for anyone that doesn't have the perfect little bundle we all picture when we're pregnant. Please dont lose sight that Summer is now a healthy little lady which is something to be extremely thankful for.
It does sound like you would benefit from speaking to ur GP or health visitor though. I had similar feeling when i had my 2nd baby and i used to feel like my baby was a chore and i found no pleasure in anything. I really regret not getting help sooner. You would miss out on so much. Sending lots of hugs xxxx