Not sure what to do :(

[~curiosity~]

Hi ladies, we were planning to TTC in March but just found out DH is going to be sent to the other side of the country with work for 6 months in August

We don't want to give up on our dream as we have been waiting for years to be in this position my question is has anyone here been in a similar position where their oh has been away for the later stages of pregnancy and if so how did you cope?

Really not sure what to do!
Thanks x

 

[kksy9b]

I'm sorry hun. Is it possible for you to move with him? How would you feel delaying trying a couple of months so he would be back by the end? Its so hard because you Dont know how long it will take or what it will be like for you in later stages. I had a pretty easy pregnancy and was still comfortable and able to tend to myself and the end. But I definitely relied on my DH in those newborn weeks as I was healing and wouldn't want him gone.

I'm sorry this wrench has come up. In your shoes, I would probably push it back a couple months but I know how heartbreaking that will be. On the flip side, because you Dont know how long it will take (hopefully not very!), I would also be tempted to just go for it. If August comes and you're not preggo, will you have to stop trying for those 6 months? Or just move to a NTNP as you can see one another?

 

[~curiosity~]

Thanks Hun think we may move to ntnp for a couple of months in March and if nothing happens move to actively TTC. I hope your plans and prep are going well! X

 

[kksy9b]

Sounds like a good plan

 

[MindUtopia]

So long as he will be back for when baby might arrive, I wouldn't necessarily change your plans. I didn't find being pregnant any different or more difficult than not being pregnant once I got past 1st tri. The early bit was a challenge because I was feeling sick and incredibly tired, and it was helpful to have my husband around to do the cooking because I couldn't. But beyond that it was fine. You ideally won't want to be doing any heavy lifting, but I would assume he would be home still to see you or you have friends or family nearby who could help in a pinch. Otherwise, it really would have been fine for me. I wouldn't want to be on my own with a new baby (and I'm assuming he wouldn't want to miss that time at home either), but it sounds like he'll be back by then, right?

 

[BB1982]

No experience of this myself, but a couple of friends have had OH away for long periods during pregnancy as they were in the armed forces. These things are so hard to plan for, it might happen first try, it could take much longer. A very hard decision when you have waited so long. Good luck! X

 

[~curiosity~]

Thank you so much ladies, your support means a lot! If we conceived first try baby would be due in December and placement ends in January. Bearing in mind he can take leave and paternity leave he'd only be away 2-3 weeks, I have family close to where I live luckily. I bet it is very hard for friends with partners in the forces. Massive respect to them and their families. I really don't want him to miss out but it would be the latter half so he wouldn't miss scans. It's a difficult one because you just can't tell how it'll go! X

 

[Yo_Yo]

It's s difficult one. How often will you see him whilst he is away? For me, it'd be important for my husband to be there for the scans etc.

I would consider moving with him if it was me and the situation allowed.

Hope you find the right answer for you

 

[BSelck24]

So tough because you never know how long it will take you to conceive!! I wouldnt want you to put it off, but at the same time I am the type of person who definitely would NEED my hubby there for the birth. I think your idea of NTNP for a bit is a good one so he is home for sure for the birth! Good luck!

 

[~curiosity~]

Thank you both so much ladies! I'm looking forward to TTC in May and you never know, he may not even have to do it yet (but probably). I wouldn't be able to move up unfortunately due to work I hope all goes well with your baby plans xx

 

[kksy9b]

It sounds like he wouldn't have to miss very much at all. And if it took even one extra month to get preggo, he would be there the whole time!