vickilouise
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- Jan 4, 2008
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right first things first i woke up at 5am and thought id pee'd the bed so i just got up took my pjamas off and felt my bed... it was wet. so i put my light on... a watered down bloody fluid (thats how i described it in the hospital) was all over my pjama bottoms and all over my sheet.
i went into the toilet and wiped myself and there was blood, anyway in mid hysterics i rang my maternity hospital for advice they told me to come straight in...
whilst attempting to get ready sobbing my heart out my dad got up for work and kept askin me what was wrong... i couldnt even speak just pointed to my bedroom door he went into my room and discovered my bloody things an just held me tight in his arms and stoked my hair he kept askin if i had called my OH (i hadnt) i wanted to go on my own. eventually he rang my OH and told him to get here quick.
so we got to the hospital after 20 mins of my dad driving like a maniac and coming out with funny family stories... attempting to calm me down, bless him. my OH was a jibbering mess kept saying everything was gonna be alright over and over and kept trying to hold my hand. i kept repeating this isnt right and i dont feel right and pulling my hand out of his. i was completely numb. i dont feel pregnant.
so we gets there and i had my bp taken= sky high (expected under circumstances), pulse, urine tested for infection, and my blood taken for grouping (they couldnt get any so they had to ring the transfusion dept of a hosp where i had my operation last year to find out my blood group) and an internal... that was so uncomfortable and embarrassing.
all that got confirmed was that yes there is bleeding from my womb but the opening is shut which is a good sign??? the doc seemed positive but im not i think im preparing for the worst.
i have to wait till 12.30 pm tommorow to see if my lil pea in my pod is still beating away, they did say (which made my OH rear up) if there is an emergency i will have to wait. he flipped saying "what the fuck is this a day out shes fuckin bleeding for fucks sake" i understand what they meant i am only 13 weeks and if someone over 24 was to come in they would definately go before me as their baby is classed as a baby. I ended up telling my OH to go and sit with my dad as he couldnt behave lol.
all in all i could recieve the best or worst mothers day present ever tommorow... be told im not going to be a mum ... i honestly think the later is true but we shall see.
the bleeding has subsided its still bright but its like the amount you get on 1st or last day of period.
im so numb im just walking around the house in a daze, my dad has just took my OH to get a coffee somewhere as i told them i want to be left alone to deal with things.
im so scared and confused i dont know what to think / feel. i didnt plan for this baby, but i got used to the idea and i was so excited at the prospect ive bought maternity clothes, been given things for baby and a friend my OH has in work kindly gave peter a nursery set, wardrobe changing unit and drawers and ive got them looking me in the face i feel like smashing them up.
sorry to burden everything on here but i feel like i can be honest on here when i say i seriously dont think its still alive whereas here in the real world my dad and OH pretend they think everything is going to be fine thinking if they say that itll calm me down. it doesnt.
anyho just thought id write my thoughts n feelings on today if anyone has got any similar story please be honest dont just tell me ill be ok im preparing for the worst anyway xxx
thanks for reading
i went into the toilet and wiped myself and there was blood, anyway in mid hysterics i rang my maternity hospital for advice they told me to come straight in...
whilst attempting to get ready sobbing my heart out my dad got up for work and kept askin me what was wrong... i couldnt even speak just pointed to my bedroom door he went into my room and discovered my bloody things an just held me tight in his arms and stoked my hair he kept askin if i had called my OH (i hadnt) i wanted to go on my own. eventually he rang my OH and told him to get here quick.
so we got to the hospital after 20 mins of my dad driving like a maniac and coming out with funny family stories... attempting to calm me down, bless him. my OH was a jibbering mess kept saying everything was gonna be alright over and over and kept trying to hold my hand. i kept repeating this isnt right and i dont feel right and pulling my hand out of his. i was completely numb. i dont feel pregnant.
so we gets there and i had my bp taken= sky high (expected under circumstances), pulse, urine tested for infection, and my blood taken for grouping (they couldnt get any so they had to ring the transfusion dept of a hosp where i had my operation last year to find out my blood group) and an internal... that was so uncomfortable and embarrassing.
all that got confirmed was that yes there is bleeding from my womb but the opening is shut which is a good sign??? the doc seemed positive but im not i think im preparing for the worst.
i have to wait till 12.30 pm tommorow to see if my lil pea in my pod is still beating away, they did say (which made my OH rear up) if there is an emergency i will have to wait. he flipped saying "what the fuck is this a day out shes fuckin bleeding for fucks sake" i understand what they meant i am only 13 weeks and if someone over 24 was to come in they would definately go before me as their baby is classed as a baby. I ended up telling my OH to go and sit with my dad as he couldnt behave lol.
all in all i could recieve the best or worst mothers day present ever tommorow... be told im not going to be a mum ... i honestly think the later is true but we shall see.
the bleeding has subsided its still bright but its like the amount you get on 1st or last day of period.
im so numb im just walking around the house in a daze, my dad has just took my OH to get a coffee somewhere as i told them i want to be left alone to deal with things.
im so scared and confused i dont know what to think / feel. i didnt plan for this baby, but i got used to the idea and i was so excited at the prospect ive bought maternity clothes, been given things for baby and a friend my OH has in work kindly gave peter a nursery set, wardrobe changing unit and drawers and ive got them looking me in the face i feel like smashing them up.
sorry to burden everything on here but i feel like i can be honest on here when i say i seriously dont think its still alive whereas here in the real world my dad and OH pretend they think everything is going to be fine thinking if they say that itll calm me down. it doesnt.
anyho just thought id write my thoughts n feelings on today if anyone has got any similar story please be honest dont just tell me ill be ok im preparing for the worst anyway xxx
thanks for reading