November Due Dates (cont)

[CharlieKeys]

Sorry ladies Hope you don't mind me ranting It's my baby's 1st birthday tomorrow and I've had to do two separate events as my mum is so fuming at my MIL she said she can't be in the same room as her - fair enough that's my fault for bitching so much.

Anyways, MIL just came round unannounced and was like "Oh it's a mess in here" ... it's full of toys because they like playing and bringing toys in from their bedroom etc. I refuse to tidy up until just before their bedtime because no point. They mess it up again within 5 minutes. Then she said something like "Well no point in buying him a present then - he has everything he needs already" ... he is ONE years old FFS! Plus that's her grandson - he doesn't need toys but you could get him books, puzzles, colouring/painting stuff, he loves mickey mouse and pepper pig - use your imagination. She did this at Christmas saying "I've not got Henry anything because he's too young and he has all of Stephen's old stuff" But she had got Stephen something and Steve's other daughter (that we don't see) something.

Then she said something like "Well when SIL moves out we'll have another bedroom for them, but Grandad has said we can't have all 3 stay over at a time. It is one at a time only" ... my kids stay together - me and my brothers always went to our nan's together so I'm not about to split my kids up, just to make it easy for her. Plus I'm planning on breastfeeding for as long as I can just so she can't get her grubby hands on my daughter - who she keeps calling "my baby".

On Wednesday we had to pop over, as OH was off. She had gotten Henry's birthday present we bought him out of her shed - we'd kept it in there as we had no space to hide it. Then when we went to Asda for Her, got back and she was letting them play on it. I was gutted, we have saved as much as we can to make sure he has decent presents to open on his birthday (I know it's not about all about the presents) and she's letting him play with the big we one got him. Nearly about to cry at that point.

Her next comment was about how she could only ever afford one toy for her kids and we were spoiling them. We clearly have more money than we say we do ... we really don't! I get £60 a week in tax credits and I've been doing £40 shopping per week and saving the £20 for his birthday! What on earth are we going to do for Stephen's birthday and she bets he will get loads because he's "the favourite" .... I wanted to say a naughty F word at her - me and my OH don't have favourites!!! SHE does. She makes it very clear she prefers Stephen and now we're havign a girl - my boys do not have a chance.

She is making my life hell - when she left I was so close to tears. Thing is how do you get the confidence to tell your MIL to just F off without upsetting your partner?

 

[phineas]

These were brought home from America so lots of bright neutral colours... Exactly what I wanted!

Charlie being honest u need to just say it! I'm lucky in that I spend a lot of time with mil, and I don't have to worry bout offending my oh. He knows how testing she can be, so usually I'll tell him as things go on but if it's summat I need to stand up for then I will have a blow out with her. Oh knows I wouldn't do this unless I very strongly need to cause I normally make him do it, so he doesn't be mad! I'd try get over on ur own one day and tell her exactly how u feel... Ur preg ull get away with it!

I'd be mad bout the present too tho, some ppl really over step the mark! (mil told everyone I was preg at 12 weeks, even tho she had convinced oh to keep shut until we were a bit further when she found out at 10 weeks... Ooohh he was mad lol)

 

[Beankeeper]

Ugh, she sounds awful! I'm so sorry that you have to put up with her.
I don't know what to say though as I don't have any kids yet & so far I get on with my MIL but she sounds like a horror & it's not fair for her to pick her favs like that!

 

[SarahDiener]

I just avoid my MIL, she drives me nuts... The thing is, if I spent more time with her I'd start to swear at her too... I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that she speaks only German.
But that's probably what I'd try, just avoid her, obviously she'll still come round unannounced, but... she'll probably be just as clueless if you did swear at her...

 

[CharlieKeys]

She is a pain - when it was just Stephen and we lived far enough away from her I could tolerate her. But now we live around the corner I'm sick of her interfering and telling me how to raise my children. I also don't like what she does when she has them - she just feeds them full of sugar and juice and tea and I hate it ! OH says they can stay which then puts me in an awkward position to turn round and say no actually they can't I've told him when our contract is up on this place we need to move before I actually do something I regret.

 

[SarahDiener]

It's always hard with MIL because it's the one place where you and you husband don't always see eye-to-eye. I mean it's their mother! they have been tolerating or getting a long with them for their entire lives. My husband tolerates his parents but also actually misses them occasionally. Just like I do with mine :/
It's really hard though, because his parents drive me nuts! and his reaction is just "oh it's fine" and never rocks the boat, even when I suffer because he doesnt want to confront them...
I sometimes think it would be easier though if they were closer, I can handle them for short periods of time, but going there for days makes me want to kill everyone... O_O

 

[CharlieKeys]

Yes you're right it is hard ... and I get they're stuck in the middle, but I keep telling him if he had a problem with something my mum was doing with the boys and he really didn't like it I would tell her because she's my mum. Half the time he claims I'm "over-exaggerating"

About 3 months ago SIL admitted she'd given Stephen (who isn't even TWO!!) coke to drink. I went mental at her and it took him 3 months to say anything to her about it.

 

[SarahDiener]

My BIL and SIL had a 3y/o (now 3.5) and he wasnt eating breakfast. So my MIL gave him CAKE!!!!! Obviously absurd and dumb for so many reasons but ALSO, it was a cake they were going to have later in the day, all iced and pretty...

 

[Lucyjo81]

Sorry you have to put up with your MIL Charlie, i don't have children yet so don't have any of those problems.
However when my MIL does wind me up so i tell her exactly what i feel. For instance, she kept insisting i stay at her house for like two weeks after the baby is born, i told her no, i want to come back to my own house, but she still went on and on. In the end i had enough and told her it's my own life, my baby and i want to do what i want.

I think sometimes you just have to say what you have to say!

On another note its my last day in second tri!! Wooo! Can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is going!

xx

 

[MommaBarry]

OMG Charlie she sounds like the

I have NOOO problem keeping my mouth shut. I wish I could tell her off for you!!

My BIL just had a baby a few weeks ago and OH is over the moon about being an uncle. He said as soon as our baby gets here he taking her over to play as much as possible. I DONT THINK SO!!!!!

BIL is one who likes to smoke the wacky tabaccy and there is no way in hell my baby girl is going around that. Not to mention he is always in trouble. We got pulled over for a taillight being out, and the first thing the officer said when they looked at OH drivers license and saw his last name was, "so were is your brother cody tonight "? If that tells you anything the cops know him by name and OH is never in trouble. Bad enough our baby girl will share the last name as him. Dont get me wrong BIL is one of the nicest people and I love hanging out with him (not in his home obviously) but the momma bear in me does not care that he just had my daughters cousin. She is not going over there and I have had no problem telling OH about it.

Same thing with MIL, her house is always dirty and her pets are always all over the place. I have informed OH she can come to our home, but I am not taking her there.

 

[lillio]

My MIL is a complete balloon!! She'll be a terror when this baby arrives, she's shown no interest in the pregnancy or the baby at all so far but I know she'll be trying to be all involved once he's born... telling me what I'm doing wrong! Yours sounds awful, she shouldn't treat your kiddies like that and clearly has no respect for you... grrrrrh! Tell her off then blame it on hormones lol! I also maaaaay have purchased several maxi dresses today, including that new look one... couldn't help myself lol! x

 

[CharlieKeys]

I wish I was as brave as you ladies. Maybe I just need to man up a bit!

I did tell her once when *she insisted on giving the boys their 3rd cupcake and said no more it's nearly dinner time. I went to the toilet, came back down and oh look they were eating another cake. Then she got pissed because Stephen wouldn't eat all his dinner! hmmm.... wonder why?!

 

[SarahDiener]

She needs a slap! I'm not brave with mine. It'd probably be different if we spoke the same language though!

 

[destynibaby]

reasons like this is why im glad my boyfriend's mother lives thousands of miles away

 

[skweek35]

is anyone else experiencing leaking boobies? I'm talking I can literally squease out quiet a bit of liquid already!
What should I be doing about this? Should I just leave it or should I start expressing already?

 

[CharlieKeys]

I can get milk from my right boobie but not the left one yet. Just leave it - I've heard early expressing can bring on contractions It's normal to leak

 

[destynibaby]

yeah dont squeeze. my OB told me the same thing it can cause contractions.
im very top heavy 38H and she told me to make sure my OH isnt sucking and stimulating them too much as it can cause contractions.. ahaha the look on his face!

 

[skweek35]

Thanks for that advice ladies. Yup DF wont be happy! ag shame!! teehee

 

[SarahDiener]

No leaking! I keep prodding them though :O LOL Just to make sure

 

[linz143]

My right one leaks on it's own, my left one gets super painful unless I squeeze out a few drops every few hours. I mean, it's just a few drops... you'd think that wouldn't hurt but it does! And it's the only thing that helps! It's been happening for a couple days now, but no contractions and then it'll feel better for a few hours. The right one, however, just does whatever it wants...