my name is tanya and i am 23 weeks pregnant my waters broke about 3 weeks ago and i am trying to get my baby to 24 weeks so he is viable.i,m frightened and confused...and i feel real guilty i blame myself...its my body thats letting my son down...
i cannot get any answers from any of my consultants apart from its in gods hands and believe me thats all i do is prayer, cry , stay in bed constantly only getting up to use the toilet, so i dont put pressure on my uterus and make it contract... does anyone understand what i am going through cause all people keep saying to me is you need to pull yourself together but i just cant my life is in limbo...i have decided to call my son Dylan so no matter what at least when hes born hes got a name to go by not the so and so weeker...or tanyas baby...makes it sound all so impersonal...please prayer for him i live in hope him upstairs is listening...i dont even have a religion but im that scared i am willing to try anything...
went to the hospital today demanding to speak to a consultant to get some answers and i have been told its more than likely that even if i do get to 24 weeks my son is more than likely to be malformed as his limbs will not grow tidy with no waters...so i have to make the decision...once resuscitated at birth how much medical care there after i wish my son to receive in others words whether i want my son to have everything possible done to save him...or whether it would be best just to let him go...how can i be expected to make a decision like that do i be selfish and want to keep him alive because i cant bear to lose him...or do i do what is best for my son...i am absolutely heartbroken...
i also have to stay strong for my other 5 children aged 12,8,6,5,2 1/2 as they are really confused too...they expected a little brother to be coming home with mammy, people have said to me be happy u have 5 healthy children but i do not see how that makes a difference dylan is still my son and even tho not born yet he is still very much loved the same as my other kids...
i cannot get any answers from any of my consultants apart from its in gods hands and believe me thats all i do is prayer, cry , stay in bed constantly only getting up to use the toilet, so i dont put pressure on my uterus and make it contract... does anyone understand what i am going through cause all people keep saying to me is you need to pull yourself together but i just cant my life is in limbo...i have decided to call my son Dylan so no matter what at least when hes born hes got a name to go by not the so and so weeker...or tanyas baby...makes it sound all so impersonal...please prayer for him i live in hope him upstairs is listening...i dont even have a religion but im that scared i am willing to try anything...
went to the hospital today demanding to speak to a consultant to get some answers and i have been told its more than likely that even if i do get to 24 weeks my son is more than likely to be malformed as his limbs will not grow tidy with no waters...so i have to make the decision...once resuscitated at birth how much medical care there after i wish my son to receive in others words whether i want my son to have everything possible done to save him...or whether it would be best just to let him go...how can i be expected to make a decision like that do i be selfish and want to keep him alive because i cant bear to lose him...or do i do what is best for my son...i am absolutely heartbroken...
i also have to stay strong for my other 5 children aged 12,8,6,5,2 1/2 as they are really confused too...they expected a little brother to be coming home with mammy, people have said to me be happy u have 5 healthy children but i do not see how that makes a difference dylan is still my son and even tho not born yet he is still very much loved the same as my other kids...