Numb....lost....I can't lose my baby :'(

[majored]

I am very sorry you have had to go through all of this, please take care xx

 

[avapopsmum]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sleep tight little angel xx

 

[Bluetomato]

Im so sorry to hear about your little girl Maddy. My daughter died of Turners syndrome too, and it breaks my heart to think of someone else going though what we went through Sending floaty kisses to Maddy and hugs to you xxx

 

[littleblonde]

Sweet dreams Maddie

 

[brandiw]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone.....all of the thoughts and wishes for my Maddy....you know she feels the love and flies a little higher....

 

[lili24]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking x

 

[Rachie004]

I'm so sorry that you have had to endure this experience and I'm so sorry for your loss. You've been so brave to make the decisions that you did, as hard as they must have been you seemed totally 'at peace' (I don't think that is the best way to say it, I hope you know what I'm trying to get across) with the decisions that you were able to make for yourself and Maddy and I really hope you can take at least a little bit of comfort from that in this terrible time. Lots of love and hugs xx

 

[kerrie24]

So sorry for your loss x
Rest peacefully now Miss Maddy x

 

[Leilani]

Thinking of you. xx

 

[TwoRdue]

So sorry to hear this as it must not be easy.. sorry or your loss

 

[Feb4th2011]

 

[juicyfruity]

I am so glad you got to spend that beautiful time with her xx

 

[Bernie]

so sorry hun

 

[needshelp]

I'm so thanking you for this forum and hoping I'm welcome to join. Brandi, i'm just starting to go through what your story is...and I admire you for sharing and am looking to "vent" as you have done, I felt like no one understands me...we went for our 12 week scan and fluid is engulfing our little one...they sent us to a specialist where I immediately had a cvs...quick results fish came back saying it was defn not trisomy, downs, or turners ( we have a baby boy again!) however, they found a "hole" in the back of his head and are afraid it is something horrible (I can't remember the name of it as I'm still in shock and numb) but it's where his brain may protrude from his head...and there is fluid building up throughout his body and they believe prognosis is not good, so i'm preparing myself for the worse....it is sooooo hard to grasp and I still cannot figure out why this is happening to me as I try to be super healthy and take vitamins, but as a mom, I cannot fathom losing a baby ( I had a MMC prior to this one and one healthy little 18 month old)...how are you all coping now??? i'm terrified I will have to have another c section to deliver this little guy..... thanks for listening

 

[DueSeptember]

I am Sorry

 

[Left wonderin]

Thank you ladies for your repsonses. I need to vent through all of this....and this is a place where you all understand....

I have made a decision that I am definitely NOT going to terminate. No matter what the outcome is, I want nature to take it's course. Even if that means my little sweetheat dies in my arms minutes after being born...at least he/she is in mommy's arms and can let go. I have to be there for him/her if that happens....I can not let my baby die alone.

I have been researching different syndrome's...and while many have awful outcomes, there are managable syndromes as well....so it is just a waiting game until the amnio results come in. Something like Downs doesn't "scare" me whatsoever....but they are suspecting something worse.

They can't tell me that baby might be a "vegetable" without seeing him/her out in the world....I think that is jumping the gun. I know my baby felt the amnio....the little heartbeat went from 148 to 196...you can't tell me that he/she didn't feel anything....baby knew at that moment that somethin' was in his/her "space"....and wanted it out! My little peanut is gettin' an attitude already Wow....my little joke is the first time I have smiled in 24 hours since finding out.

I am trying so hard to keep even a little glimmer of hope. I have too....I have to fight as hard as I can, even harder...for my baby. I will not give up on him/her....not in a million years. Disfigured, mentally ********, doesn't matter....that is still MY gorgeous babe in there....and me being his/her mommy....will fight to the death for him/her.

Wow....it feels good to vent. Thank you so so much ladies for letting me vent...it means the world to me.

What a brave , courageous mammy you are . And your beautiful baby is very lucky and blessed to have such a strong caring mammy willing to defend and fight for them ) you and your little miracle will be in my thoughts and prayers xxx

 

[brandiw]

I'm so thanking you for this forum and hoping I'm welcome to join. Brandi, i'm just starting to go through what your story is...and I admire you for sharing and am looking to "vent" as you have done, I felt like no one understands me...we went for our 12 week scan and fluid is engulfing our little one...they sent us to a specialist where I immediately had a cvs...quick results fish came back saying it was defn not trisomy, downs, or turners ( we have a baby boy again!) however, they found a "hole" in the back of his head and are afraid it is something horrible (I can't remember the name of it as I'm still in shock and numb) but it's where his brain may protrude from his head...and there is fluid building up throughout his body and they believe prognosis is not good, so i'm preparing myself for the worse....it is sooooo hard to grasp and I still cannot figure out why this is happening to me as I try to be super healthy and take vitamins, but as a mom, I cannot fathom losing a baby ( I had a MMC prior to this one and one healthy little 18 month old)...how are you all coping now??? i'm terrified I will have to have another c section to deliver this little guy..... thanks for listening

I am so sorry that you have to go through this It has been just over three months since saying goodbye to Madelyn. While my heart hurts every single day ... it does get easier every day. Not "easier" in the way that I don't miss her or love her as much ... just easier because I am feeling more like myself now. I can laugh, I can enjoy my husband and family, and that feels good. There was a time after losing her that I never thought I would smile again. It feels nice to have more good days than bad. I know it is so very fresh for you right now ... but I am living proof that you can survive this horrible situation. I miss my baby girl like mad every single day. I cry when I go to bed at night. But, I can also look at her pictures now and smile, I can talk about her with my friends and giggle about how very cute she was. You will get there too some day....I promise. Please message me if you need too...

 

[brandiw]

Thank you ladies for your repsonses. I need to vent through all of this....and this is a place where you all understand....

I have made a decision that I am definitely NOT going to terminate. No matter what the outcome is, I want nature to take it's course. Even if that means my little sweetheat dies in my arms minutes after being born...at least he/she is in mommy's arms and can let go. I have to be there for him/her if that happens....I can not let my baby die alone.

I have been researching different syndrome's...and while many have awful outcomes, there are managable syndromes as well....so it is just a waiting game until the amnio results come in. Something like Downs doesn't "scare" me whatsoever....but they are suspecting something worse.

They can't tell me that baby might be a "vegetable" without seeing him/her out in the world....I think that is jumping the gun. I know my baby felt the amnio....the little heartbeat went from 148 to 196...you can't tell me that he/she didn't feel anything....baby knew at that moment that somethin' was in his/her "space"....and wanted it out! My little peanut is gettin' an attitude already Wow....my little joke is the first time I have smiled in 24 hours since finding out.

I am trying so hard to keep even a little glimmer of hope. I have too....I have to fight as hard as I can, even harder...for my baby. I will not give up on him/her....not in a million years. Disfigured, mentally ********, doesn't matter....that is still MY gorgeous babe in there....and me being his/her mommy....will fight to the death for him/her.

Wow....it feels good to vent. Thank you so so much ladies for letting me vent...it means the world to me.

What a brave , courageous mammy you are . And your beautiful baby is very lucky and blessed to have such a strong caring mammy willing to defend and fight for them ) you and your little miracle will be in my thoughts and prayers xxx

Thank you so so much....what a beautiful thing to say...it means a lot to me!