off topic... affording more children

[mamaofthree]

Oh goodness! I guess it's really difficult because one persons idea of being able to afford is different to another's and it just depends what your priorities are in life. My DH earns £38,000 and I am a stay at one mum to four ( soon to be five children) and always intended to stay home until they reached school. Things changed however when we realised there were serious issues with my son at school, he began self harming and attempted throwing himself from a moving car, we discovered him to be autistic, at school he was being ignored. This totally destroyed his self esteem and has taken us 2 years to build him back up. I am now home educating and a full time carer for him. i will be a sahm until they reach 16 after gcse now.We have always had our income topped up with tax credits, however now we get a small amount of help towards our rent & council tax plus DLA for my sons disability needs. I also get DLA has have severe mobility issues myself ( arthritis, ehlers danlos syndrom3 or hypermobility syndrome) we would sacrifice anything to house, feed, cloth our children if we didn't have the benefits and we haven't always, but they do help immensely. Although we could scrimp and afford the children before, now we've been able to take my son ( and the others of course) on trips that would otherwise have been too expensive, pay for equipment to help with his needs , a car and of course the odd treat, I'd be lying if I said we didn't. Living with an autistic child is difficult though, and there is no way I could ever put him back into a school he just wouldn't survive. Could we afford five children? To be honest, it's just the food bills that cripple us, so yes we'd survive without benefits if we were shrewd, but the benefits are a god send! The way I look at t I'm saving the state around £20 a week educating the children and getting some of DH's tax back plus all my offspring will be future tax payers, hopefully caring for myself and DH when we get old ( I hope).....work would be a far easier option believe me I hope this doesn't make me sound a bad person, but I'm extremely grateful of the benefit system and wouldn't change my decision to have the five little ones. X

 

[darkriver]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

 

[6lilpigs]

Enjoy your LO darkriver

 

[angelandbump]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

The argument is about people choosing to have child while on benefits.
Your situation is different.

 

[jojo_b]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

 

[kit10grl]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

See the problem we have with our DLA situation is most people judge you to be a jeremey kyle type though when you say your not working or a SAHM. Why should we have to say 'oh but we are on DLA for xyz reasons' to be treated with respect. If people are on benefits surely its no one's business but theirs WHY they are on benefits.

 

[mhk425]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

See the problem we have with our DLA situation is most people judge you to be a jeremey kyle type though when you say your not working or a SAHM. Why should we have to say 'oh but we are on DLA for xyz reasons' to be treated with respect. If people are on benefits surely its no one's business but theirs WHY they are on benefits.

I disagree that it's no one's business why you're on benefits, as it's other people that are paying for those benefits. I am a teacher, and because tax money pays my salary, anyone can look my salary up at any time. Some of my coworkers don't like it, but I'm fine with it. The public is paying my salary, so they have a right to know what they're paying for.

 

[PreggyEggy]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

My problem with it is that shows like Jeremy Kyle perpetuate that stereotype of benefit claimants, when the reality is that people claim benefits for all sorts of reasons, and the Jeremy Kyle style family does not happen as often as we are lead to believe. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, because obviously it does, it's just the belief that everyone on benefits is a scrounger that gets me. There are so many people who believe that. I mean what happened to good old fashioned community spirit? Feeling glad that the single mum down the road struggling with 2 kids is being helped through her situation? Not to get all hippy dippy, but isn't it great we take care of each other?

I personally don't get the very few people who do choose to live the "benefit lifestyle" anyway. Something must have gone very wrong in their lives. Who doesn't want to do something with their life? There have been points as a SAHM where I have felt lonely, isolated, bored and as though I existed solely to benefit someone else. At some darker points I resented my DH for getting to go to work everyday. I took up knitting, crochet and sewing to give me goals and something to work towards. I can't imagine choosing to sit around all day as a lifestyle choice.

 

[irish_cob]

On the flip side, there are lots of people I know in a similar situation to me. I work full time, my daughter is at a childminders 9.5 hours a day. I earn ok, not minimum wage but nothing to get all excited about either, my partner also works full time and earns a little bit less than I do. We get child benefit (£20 a week) but I think we earn too much to qualify for working family tax credit. I'm pregnant with number 2, and it will be the childcare costs that we will struggle with.

But I don't want to give up work. I like going to work. I like developing my career. I don't want to be a SAHM. So we are going to put our heads down and struggle, and we will keep paying hundreds in income tax every month, rather than me giving up my job and claiming benefits. After paying full time childcare for 2 I will be left with very little money at all, but it's worth it for me, and it's only for 2.5 years when my oldest will go to school, then things will ease up a bit.

And there are plenty others like me where I work. In a lot of cases, one parent's income is basically paying childcare. They'd be better off not working in a lot of cases, but they don't want to give up work.

So consider the flip side, there are plenty of low and middle income families who struggle along on tight budgets working part or full time, and not claiming benefits they could do if they gave up work.

I'd like to have 3 children, but we really can not afford more than 2, and you have to consider practicalities like bedrooms and storage and needing bigger cars, alongside the obvious costs like 3x the childcare. Ho hum, who knows, maybe I'll talk my OH round when my oldest is at school, although I'll be in my late 30s by then and he'll be in his early 50s - eek.

 

[momofone08]

I completely agree that NO ONE should have children just so they can be on benefits. I do think people shouldn't be shamed and looked down on for having benefits though if they truly need it. Here in the US you pay rather high premiums for health insurance and still get stuck with a major bill. My insure refused to cover my c-section and I was stuck with 20 thousand dollars of medical bills all because I refused to get on benefits. I wanted to do it the "right" way and pay my monthly premium. So in the end I got screwed for taking the path of no benefits. My husbands cousin has 4 kids, never put the daddy (same for all 4) on the birth certificates, claims she doesn't know who he is and gets everything handed to her. She uses her maiden name to get all the benefits while she runs a VERY successful business under her married name. She gets medical, food, and even cash assistance. She drives two brand new cars and gets herself designer bags on a monthly basis. Those are the type of people who shouldn't be allowed to have more children. She only had those kids for the benefits.

 

[kit10grl]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

See the problem we have with our DLA situation is most people judge you to be a jeremey kyle type though when you say your not working or a SAHM. Why should we have to say 'oh but we are on DLA for xyz reasons' to be treated with respect. If people are on benefits surely its no one's business but theirs WHY they are on benefits.

I disagree that it's no one's business why you're on benefits, as it's other people that are paying for those benefits. I am a teacher, and because tax money pays my salary, anyone can look my salary up at any time. Some of my coworkers don't like it, but I'm fine with it. The public is paying my salary, so they have a right to know what they're paying for.

Yeh but no one tax payer is paying no one claimants benefits. So why do taxpayers feel its ok to ask why people are on benefits? And my point wasn't that people shouldn't want to know why your on benefits. My point is why should I have to tell someone why im on benefits to GET RESPECT? Ask why I'm on benefits, just don't assume the worst BEFORE you ask? Give people the benefit of the doubt that there is a genuine reason unless proved otherwise. Not assume people are scroungers till they give you a rundown of their families medical history and taxes for the past five years

 

[mhk425]

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

Hi I am on benefits. I recieve ESA and DLA. My husband doesnt claim. He is added on and we dont get any extra for that. He looks after me. (dont mind really.) I am on long sick disablity through ill health.... I am also due a first child. What should I do?

Do I give my baby up?

I did not plan on having any children at this time. I wanted to be in full time work, with a little nest egg. I worked from sixteen until I got really ill. I worked so hard that I ended up collapsing. I am planning on getting better and want to return to full time work.

Not everyone on benefits is feckless and pushing children left right and centre.

I don't think anyone would have an issue with instances like this. The people I struggle with are the "Jeremy Kyle" type who - though not necessarily representative of benefits claimants - are milking the system. I work in an area of high social deprivation and know enough families in this category to be aggrieved by the way the system can be played.

See the problem we have with our DLA situation is most people judge you to be a jeremey kyle type though when you say your not working or a SAHM. Why should we have to say 'oh but we are on DLA for xyz reasons' to be treated with respect. If people are on benefits surely its no one's business but theirs WHY they are on benefits.

I disagree that it's no one's business why you're on benefits, as it's other people that are paying for those benefits. I am a teacher, and because tax money pays my salary, anyone can look my salary up at any time. Some of my coworkers don't like it, but I'm fine with it. The public is paying my salary, so they have a right to know what they're paying for.

Yeh but no one tax payer is paying no one claimants benefits. So why do taxpayers feel its ok to ask why people are on benefits? And my point wasn't that people shouldn't want to know why your on benefits. My point is why should I have to tell someone why im on benefits to GET RESPECT? Ask why I'm on benefits, just don't assume the worst BEFORE you ask? Give people the benefit of the doubt that there is a genuine reason unless proved otherwise. Not assume people are scroungers till they give you a rundown of their families medical history and taxes for the past five years

No one taxpayer is paying my salary either. However, the public in general is paying it through taxes, and that's why they get to see my salary. Same kind of idea with welfare IMO. However, I agree that people often judge those on welfare without knowing the individual situations. It's unfortunate that the the people who abuse the system make everyone else a suspect. Sadly, I HAVE seen way too many people abuse the system, but I don't just assume that's the case for everyone.

 

[kit10grl]

No but assuming you were aware your salary would be public knowledge before you took the job you choose to be in the position where your salary would be public. I on the other hand didn't choose to be on benefits, its down to circumstances outwith my control. It seems unfair to me that because we were made redundant and had a child with special needs my business now becomes everyone's business. IYSWIM?

 

[Glitter_berry]

I don't have a problem with people who fairly receive benefits.
Here in Australia you are entitled to a family tax benifit even if there is a working member, but if there is a working member it gets cut drastically. Normal is about $600 a month. Mine is cut to around $205 a month and my DH doesn't earn a great deal.

But it makes me so angry when you see people like my sister and her husband who REFUSE to work because the benifit system pays better.
They have one child with a disability that they take advantage of to get extra money from the government then use it for family holidays.
And 2 other children.

They adverse about $3000 a month between them TAX FREE dollars. Then get discounts on EVERYTHING because they are on benefits.

Where as my husband who works. ( I'm not working anymore) and I have to pay full price for everything and we only just earn take home a little bit over what they get on benefits.

How is THAT fair. My husband works 6 days a week shift work only to be spat on by government cheats?? It's not fair and its NOT right.

So I get what a PP was saying.

Benifit cheats might be the minority, but it doesn't hurt any less especially to those who do the right thing.


I do have a problem with people who CHOOSE not to work just because they don't like their job and would rather receive benefits.
If more people were honest the taxes we pay could go towards a better health system, schooling and development and an equal amount distributed to help the citizens of our country live a little more comfortably. Not funding the lazy while the people doing the right thing suffer.

 

[SteffyRae]

Depends on what you mean by afford, some months we really struggle and other months we do great and have extras, If i couldnt afford shoes for my kids no I would not have more but it sounds like your friends more have screwed up priorities than not affording kids

 

[SteffyRae]

Im currently on benefits and usually when im working im still on them because our income just isnt good enough to pay for insurance and food. I have never gotten cash assistance for some reason i never qualify but also if I were to work the same shift as my hubby it wouldnt be worth it to work because everytime that has happened after gas and childcare i end up by paying to work. But this is the reason I will be going back to school

 

[iwantabub]

The whole premise of "tax credits"

Why should any one get part of their tax back when others dont?

How is that fair?

(Just to clarify in not having a go at people who receive them coz if your entitled to it why not... But the governments are unfair IMO)


In Australia it's so unfair because my dh and I get taxed in the same tax bracket as the richest person in our country!

We are pretty much forced to own investment properties and rent them out for cheap so we an get some sort of tax break!

I'm not complaining coz we can afford pretty much anything we want but it so unfair that because we studied for years (over ten years between us) and we get absolutely hammered by tax!

Dh paid more in tax on his own than some earnt the whole of last year ... He paid two people's whole benefits for the year on his own! That's just unfair

 

[Glitter_berry]

The whole premise of "tax credits"

Why should any one get part of their tax back when others dont?

How is that fair?

What are tax credits?
I want tax credits lol!!

We only get back in tax the things we can claim like laundry, things we have bought specifically for work, union fees etc.

My DH paid approximately $12,000 in tax and only got $300 back ?

I got $200 back because I had to buy my own uniform and was able to claim it. So technically we didn't benifit just paid for work related things.

 

[iwantabub]

Yep... I only just found out by reading this that we get it here in Australia too... It's alled family tax benefit or whatever.

Were not entitled to it of course lol

 

[Glitter_berry]

Yep... I only just found out by reading this that we get it here in Australia too... It's alled family tax benefit or whatever.

Were not entitled to it of course lol

Everyone is entitled to family tax benifit unless you earn over $100k a year.

My DH earns about 60,000 so we are entitled to it but it gets cut drastically. The usual rate of payment is about $350 a fortnight and we are entitled to $100 a fortnight of it wheb i was working we got $1.35 ( lmao why even pay someone that) Or you can receive it as a lump sum at tax time.

We however are not entitled to a "parenting payment" or a health care card and it has cost is so much for scans etc as we have to pay out of pocket.
We aren't entitled to the PBS prescription medication and pay full price.

I think every one should pay the one price for medication.

What costs my sister $10 at the chemist costs me $120 in asthma medication for my daughter.
$5 for her pill prescription but $38 for mine?

I fail to see how that is fair AT ALL!!
I think maybe if they made the PBS prices higher but affordable everyone except those who are on a medical pension should have to pay the same.

Even if they put ALL children under 16 on the PBS.