Off Topic - I thought he was going to hit me tonight

[Snowball]

I'm having a bit of a rubbish time lately with family.

My daughter had a sickness bug today and DH asked me to get her a bucket. Thinking she was imminentely going to be sick I ran in with it and it still had water in it. He started saying how usless that was and how I have no idea about ill kids (he works in a childrens home so presumes he knows it all). This really annoyed me because it felt like he was insulting my care for our kids so I started telling him to shut up and not to talk to me.

Then he just seemed to snap. He came rushing out in the kitchen shouting not to make him out to be the bad person. I tried to walk away but he pushed me and held onto my wrists so I couldn't move. He was shouting in my face with such venom that he was spitting as he said it. Everytime I tried to run he pushed me back against the worktop again. I then screamed 'Please don't hit me' and immediately he backed off and I took our son who was screaming and ran upstairs with him to pack some things. I was shaking as I got changed. I have been hit in the past and it rushed all those memories back to me and made me panic probably more than I should have.

I packed a couple of things when DH came up and said he was leaving. I agreed he should go and started crying uncontrollably. He then said, ' I can't believe you thought I would hit you. I'd never do that'. He cuddled me and kept saying sorry and that he knew he should have shut up when I told him to stop talking to me.

I swear he has never done this before and was very out of character. I always said if he hit me once I would go no questions asked but what about this? If he'd have tried it before tonight I would have gone but I've stayed and he's acting normally. He never says sorry after we fight which makes me think he's shocked himself. Also he backed off the second he knew I thought he was going to hit me.

Do you think I've done the right thing by staying? I'm just in shock by how he behaved and I thought he was going to hurt Beano and I would never have forgiven him for that

 

[Wobbles]

Oh hun!

Holding your hands and shouting at you like you say is out of order but it doesn't mean it was going to go further or ever would. The fact he realised in a second that you felt threatened he backed off which is a good move most people in temper if that was the intentions would not have taken your words in IMO & experience!

He clearly said he would leave (again IMO) because he shook himself up and felt at fault meaning he knew it was best if he left the situation & not you (which is good). Bet hes given himself a scare hun and that doesn't mean he thought he was going to hit out at you but just because he made you feel like he was.

These clashes happen more than not in a relationship (IMO again lol) it doesn't mean your fears of any past experience of violence will return.

Calm down & let him talk to you x

 

[Snowball]

Thanks Wobbles. That's made me feel a lot better about it.

I think I reacted worse because I'm over protective over Beano. I seem very aware that I'm protecting a life inside myself.

I just don't want to be beaten again. I know deep down he would never do that and you're right, I don't think he was so aware at how threatened I felt.

 

[Vickie]

I agree completely with Wobbles on this one. The fact that he realized how threatened you felt and stopped immediately is a good move. I hope you two can sit down and work it out

 

[Heather.78]

I also agree with wobbles.

Take careof yourself and i hope everything straightens out for your both

 

[ColtonsMom]

I have to say, that I agree with Wobbles aswell. The fact that he backed off and apologized really does say alot about his character. It looks as if he didn't realize how you felt and was just letting out some frustration--although not in a good way. I agree he should never have grabbed you, though.
Hope things work out and you too get to sit and talk!

 

[mBLACK]

I agree. At least he noticed that you felt threatened and immediately backed off and discontinued his actions.
What I don't agree with is him grabbing you. A man should never lay his hands on you in any way and he should NEVER EVER push you. Especially while you are pregnant!
Just talk to him and make sure he knows that so he doesn't do it again.
Hope it all works out!!

 

[Ann-Marie]

I agree with all of the above hun. Sit down and talk. Hope everything goes ok from now on.
Look After Yourself. xx

 

[leeanne]

I'm another one who agrees with the above! I bet next time he gets frustrated, he won't do what he did again.

Could he also be partially frustrated over how his mom and family are reacting to your pregnancy? He must be going through a lot in his mind right now. He probably feels pulled from every direction right now.

Take care of yourself and hope all will go smoothly from here on out!

 

[suzan]

Am sorry hun
I agree with everyone else. Give him a chance, talk to him, and see what is happening.

Good luck

 

[vickilouise]

i agree with everyone else just sit down and have a talk with him hun.
xxx

 

[Carolina]

i agree too i hope he spoils you in valentines days...looking after a child whilst pregnant i imagine is very hard work!

 

[Serene123]

I think the fact he backed off when he knew how scared you really were shows he wouldn't go that far. I hope not anyway.

 

[Snowball]

Things are back to normal today. We haven't mentioned it. I know he felt awful for doing it as he kept following me around the house and apologising. I wouldn't have freaked out so much but I hate being restrained, it sends me loopy, I know that sounds silly

Anyway, Valentines day tomorrow and the fight seems to be over.

Thanks for your replies everyone, I just needed to vent it out as it was such a major shock and I had no one to talk to. You guys are the best