Oh doesn't want it

[moomin.]

I had to stop my contraception as I was having an operation oh didn't like condoms so we have been having unprotected sex and hey presto I'm pregnant. He doesn't want it atall we havnt spoke about it much as he assumes I'm having a termination but I can't bring myself to do that!

I'm 20 currently working part time, he's 23 and in a very good job. We're planning on moving out together and currently looking so our relationship is going in the right direction, ive known him since I was 14 but only been officially together for the past year.

We've spoke a lot about children and said we want to start in about 3 years or so, but not yet. Also he told me I I did fall pregnant he would want me to keep it, so now he's saying the total opposite!!

I think the main issue is his mum has been trying to conceive for the past 3 years so if we have a baby before her this might upset her? Also she had my boyfriend when she was 19 and says she does t want him to waste his life?! A child won't be wasting his life!! Also he says he'd think we would struggle financially and doesn't want to not be able to give the child everything. I said we'd need to compromise a little but otherwise we'd be fine(he spends money like water running out of a tap) We have both been brought up completely different so he is total realist and sees negative before anything else! Where as I have the attitude that everything will be ok all the time! (it usually is)

I've got my mums full support (havnt told anyone else and dont intend on) and she wants me to carry on with the pregnancy but how do I tell the oh? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

[snowfia]

Remember it's your decision in the end so don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.
Guys tend to take it differently to us. My OH, we weren't together at the time, but he thought it would be best for me to have a termination. But I knew I'd never be able to do that so didn't even think about it. I just explained to him that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had done that and that yes, it was a mistake but I had to live with the consequences. And now about 2 years later, we're together he adores LO and we have another on the way neither of us would have it any other way now and he is beyond glad I didn't listen to him.

 

[MommyGrim]

Completely your decision. Having your mom's full support is amazing and I think your OH will come around. Men really do have a rough time with pregnancy so he could just be scared. If you really want to keep it then I would sit down with him and tell him that you want this baby and you would like for him to be there for the two of you. I really do believe he'll come around.

 

[xforuiholdonx]

As the other ladies have said, it is completely your decision.. I know that may sound selfish reading, but its really not up to your OH. This is your body, and your baby... Having the full support of your mom is an amazing thing to have. I think your OH will come around, and is just a bit scared at the moment, as it can be a very scary thing to go through!

Congratulations by the way! Im Lisa, aged at 20. My DH is also 23, our little girl with be three come june, and I am 30+4 with our tiny man! Welcome to babyandbump!

 

[MummyMana]

He's probably just panicking at the moment, I'd say you really need to sit down and talk to him about it properly, explain how you feel

 

[moomin.]

Thanks it's nice to have somewhere to write things down! A few friends have babies and one that i am closest to has been really supportive too so in deffinitely not lacking the support from others even if the oh is being the total opposite.

I've got a scan on the 22nd to find out where I am, I think I will tell the OH then, makes me nervous at the thought!

 

[Fuchsia1412]

I think..obviously, it is your body, as others have said- and it is your baby, but also his. In the end, the decision will be yours, because although you both have to live with the consequences of whatever you do, you would be the one who had to cope with the physical side and probably more emotionally attached too, though that is just a generalisation. I think however- that he doesn't in any way deserve to be left out of the process of talking it over and deciding! I'm sure that's not really what anyone was implying, but ..his feelings are not unimportant, they're just as important as yours. I think he's probably pretty scared and talking to him and including him in your decision making and thinking processes will help with that. Good luck