Oh GOD - I am going to court! Just found out today

[Welshcob]

Guys

I just got a court order. Its clearly in retaliation to my solicitors letter that was sent. But now I have to appear in court. Hes siting that he is afraid of me and that he is a victim of domestic violence. Hes portraying me as someone with a violent and uncontrollable temper. Its just not true! I am more patient than most. Hes painted this awful picture of me. The main thing I am worried about is that by painting that picture of me he is working to show that I am an unfit mother!
I am afraid. I hope and pray that womens Aid can help. One of their out reach workers is going to come along with me. I just can't understand why he does this! Hes a very very evil man!

 

[babystar]

 

[edinsam]

hun bloody hell - cant believe it has come to this after everything he has done.

Stay calm for babies sake - I am sure your solicitor etc will be on your case and show him for what he is. Have they asked for any character witness etc?

I know from going through my previous seperation that the only way he could show you as an unfit mother would be a) you had gone to jail for something really serious or b) that you were a drug addict - outwith that he will never win his case

Whens the date for?

Aw hun I just can't believe it - what a complete moron - you need to get him out of your life!

Massive hugs

 

[needausername]

I hope things go your way.

 

[Welshcob]

hun bloody hell - cant believe it has come to this after everything he has done.

Stay calm for babies sake - I am sure your solicitor etc will be on your case and show him for what he is. Have they asked for any character witness etc?

I know from going through my previous seperation that the only way he could show you as an unfit mother would be a) you had gone to jail for something really serious or b) that you were a drug addict - outwith that he will never win his case

Whens the date for?

Aw hun I just can't believe it - what a complete moron - you need to get him out of your life!

God - that really helps I am mostly afraid of him taking the baby. I totally get the picture that he doesn't want me and I am hardly going to chase after him. I also think I get the picture that he doesn't want the baby either...its just that he hasn't said that yet! It would help if he actually said something to that effect. All the time I keep trying to be reasonable.
If I tell the court that I am training to be a counsellor and am volunteering for bereavement support and counselling - surely that goes against the picture of how "abusive he says I am!" And how "terrified" he feels! Oh its so awful because he really makes me sound dreadful. Sometimes when he has subjected me to lots of persistent abuse I will send a snotty email or have a go on text. But I don't think that is any worse than most would do is it??? Am asking because I am wondering if you would all be annoyed or upset too.
So for example when he tells you that "you don't care and you would not come if you thought I was ill or something had happened to me" and I said yes, of course I would. Then he disappears for a week...I get really worried as he had said he was depressed, I leave messages saying I am worried and that would he just let me know hes OK. In the end I drive over to his house worried sick. No sign of him and then I call his work and they say they do not know where he is. I call again and someone else tells me that he has gone on holiday! But you know he was my boyfriend and he did it deliberately. Well I did send him abusive texts and an abusive email - although I don't think it was irrational...I explained why I was upset and that he had done this before and said he would not do it again.
So is that abuse? Is that really bad behaviour of me? I feel its what most people would do in the same situation is it???

 

[Welshcob]

This Friday Gulp

 

[needausername]

Definitely bring up the fact that he talks about being depressed. What he is doing is making you believe he is going to do something to himself and is manipulating you big time and trying to drive you into a panic.

 

[missjacey44]

Just wanted to say good luck

 

[Always&4ever]

Good luck hon *hugs*

 

[xJG30]

Good luck

 

[mz_jackie86]

Good luck hun hope it goes well for you x

 

[AppleBlossom]

good luck!!!

 

[faun]

Try not to worry hun i'm sure the court will see straight through his crap, and i will be thinking of you and sending you loads of PMA for Friday x

 

[Welshcob]

Try not to worry hun i'm sure the court will see straight through his crap, and i will be thinking of you and sending you loads of PMA for Friday x

 

[Welshcob]

Definitely bring up the fact that he talks about being depressed. What he is doing is making you believe he is going to do something to himself and is manipulating you big time and trying to drive you into a panic.

Hi Hon - Just met with solicitor today. We discussed all the things like that...thing is there is so much that he used to do in the distant past, that remembering it all is near on impossible. Solicitor said hes more than likely working to take baby! But I have to take one step at a time. I trust her and womens Aid Rep coming with me on Friday too! But still scared stiff!

 

[edinsam]

hun thinking of you for tomorrow - please know we are all routing for you

keep us posted on how it goes

 

[AP]

Good luck, what a sly little f***er honestley. And I doubt an email and texts make you out to be raging looney!

On another note, I've seen people go to court for much worse, be found guilty and still get bugger all for it. The system is pish, dont worry about it!

 

[FierceAngel]

good luck

 

[impatient1]

Goodluck hun, will be thinking of you.

 

[Sarahkka]

I'm sure your solicitor would tell you about this already, so you are probably already doing this if it would be helpful, but is there anyway that you can get records of your emails and texts to him? The example you gave us earlier - I don't see how any court would see that as you being abusive. Anyone who is strung along like that is going to be emotional and say things they don't mean.
And remember, two can play the "unfit parent" game. Rather than just having a defense ready, start brainstorming examples of his poor parenting and be ready to use them.
Stay strong!