OH seems strict but then...

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by immimx, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. immimx

    immimx Guest

    I hope someone can understand this??
    my OH seems really strict with the whole i dont want a baby yet thing, and knows how broody i am, and knows im on here :)....
    but we are only using condoms and occaisionally he'll 'risk it' and go without. he makes comments like.. hope we didnt make a baby, but also makes comments about me having his baby and being a dad ect. it leaves me a little confused.
    does anyone else have this??
    any comments would be apreciated thanks
    x
     
  2. immimx

    immimx Guest

    nobody??
     
  3. Rosered52

    Rosered52 Well-Known Member

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    That must be hard! Mixed signals, indeed. Maybe he's in the slooooow process of getting used to the idea of having a baby. Have you asked him about it?
     
  4. jess1983

    jess1983 Mother of 3

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    He may just trying to get hisself used to the idea. Talk to him about it, and maybe you will feel good with the answer he gives you
     
  5. BunInTheBelly

    BunInTheBelly Expecting baby #2

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    I know what you mean, a little. My OH seems at times like he wants to wait until the end of forever before having a kid, but other times he'll be a little less "safe" if you know what I mean. And with the biggest "scare" we had, he was getting excited waiting for me to take the test. So strange.

    Maybe he's hoping it will happen on accident, so that he doesn't have to make a conscious choice to take on all that responsibility but could still end up with it. For my OH and I, the thought of deciding to bring a human being into the world is, well, scary.
     
  6. pixie23

    pixie23 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with BunInTheBelly, it sounds like something plenty of guys would do.

    My DH wasn't sending me quite such mixed signals, but he did go back and forth for a while on setting a date for ttc until he finally felt ready.
    I would talk to him about it and let him know that you are getting mixed signals.
     
  7. immimx

    immimx Guest

    i have spoken to him about the topic before and he said he sees it in the future, set a rough date of next summer to start trying, havent spoke since as i felt i was brining it up to much and making him annoyed!
    think ill wait a lil while longer nad if he mentions anymore might see if i can get him to talk about it.
     
  8. LoveCakes

    LoveCakes Well-Known Member

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    It could be an umm horny thing? i.e. he wants to do it without a condom and doesn't really think it will actually happen.

    I'm fairly set on waiting, but there are moments I just want to shout, let's start now! Sometimes your heart overrules your head!
     
  9. JessPape

    JessPape Myself, Husband, DD

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    How old is he? You got to remember, we can and normaly think about being a mom before them... He could be just scared, the first time david and I spoke about babies he was the same way.. Now a year later, he doesn't really care if it happens.. BUt would rather wait tilll next june. good luck
     
  10. MackMomma8

    MackMomma8 Well-Known Member

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    My DH was like this for a loooooong time. He always said "I'm not ready for a baby, but I'd be happy if we had an accident." :huh: Makes no sense, at all! I think the idea of making the concious decision to bring another life into this world is just too much for some men. They want kids, they just don't want to have to decide to have them. :haha:
     
  11. everdreaming

    everdreaming Guest

    My OH is like this, super confusing. On one hand he point blank refuses to talk about us even having babies in the future and often wont even look at me if I say anything baby-related. On the other hand, he spends 90% of his time telling me ALL ABOUT his baby niece and nephew who he loves and spends a lot of time with. He will text me something like "babe, get this, my nephew walked round the park today! And, he said my name twice!" but if I ask his opinion on a friend's buggy because I like the style he looks at me like I'm :loopy:

    Men are confusing and irritating. Have you sat him down to ask why he's like this about it? Maybe he feels being forced into 'readiness' through an accident is easier than getting there himself, if you get my meaning.
     
  12. odd_socks

    odd_socks Long Term WTT

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    all the time chick, my OH is the same, he wont risk it at all though :dohh:
     
  13. immimx

    immimx Guest

    i just dont want to bring it up incase he get anooyed and doesnt talk! its sad but i feel like its a tiny bit of progress, although in my head i know its the wrong way to go about it.....
    our relationship is getting stronger at the moment though so i think ill wait a little while and then have the big discussion.
    thanks ladies for all your responces. it all really helps!
     

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