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- Sep 1, 2020
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Hello all..
I’m moving over here after a BFP on Monday but my heart is breaking a little bit and I kind of need to let it all out without fear of judgement
A little background..
OH is the most amazing man. We met when my son was only a few months old (one night stand, bio 'dad' not interested) and became fast friends and then I admitted I was falling for him. We have been together nearly 10 years and couldn't be happier.
In his previous relationships there was ALOT of baby pressure and several miscarriages, leaving OH to think he couldn't father a child that would stick. I accidentally fell pregnant a few years ago and lost the baby. We weren't overly heartbroken because we weren't trying and were content with our son (OH officially adopted him a few years ago).
Anyway, we were joking about something in the bedroom earlier this year and it involved having a baby. I took this as a sign that deep down he really wanted to try for a baby. I wanted to take that pressure off of him and make sure that sex didn't become 'give me a baby' as I know he has suffered so much with unkind and selfish women before me, degrading him for not being able to do so. My thinking was if it felt natural and not for a purpose we would have a greater chance of conceiving. So I came off the pill in July without telling him. In my head I was doing such a noble thing for him, giving him a wonderful gift. I was wrong.
Turns out he really didn't want to try for a baby, and is now quite angry at me for taking what was essentially a joke and running with it behind his back. He is in complete shock and has asked me to be patient while he tries to get his head around this massive change and what it means for our future.
I am in now way looking for someone to tell me he's wrong and I am right, I can totally understand why he feels the way he does, I completely got it wrong. We are such a strong couple that this has really rattled me, I love him so much and hate that he feels betrayed by me.
I don't know what the future holds, or even if baby will stick, I just hope that we can find a way to get past this soon as I can't stand much more of feeling like this, and I know it's not good for baby!
I just wanted to share because honestly I feel so alone.
I’m moving over here after a BFP on Monday but my heart is breaking a little bit and I kind of need to let it all out without fear of judgement
A little background..
OH is the most amazing man. We met when my son was only a few months old (one night stand, bio 'dad' not interested) and became fast friends and then I admitted I was falling for him. We have been together nearly 10 years and couldn't be happier.
In his previous relationships there was ALOT of baby pressure and several miscarriages, leaving OH to think he couldn't father a child that would stick. I accidentally fell pregnant a few years ago and lost the baby. We weren't overly heartbroken because we weren't trying and were content with our son (OH officially adopted him a few years ago).
Anyway, we were joking about something in the bedroom earlier this year and it involved having a baby. I took this as a sign that deep down he really wanted to try for a baby. I wanted to take that pressure off of him and make sure that sex didn't become 'give me a baby' as I know he has suffered so much with unkind and selfish women before me, degrading him for not being able to do so. My thinking was if it felt natural and not for a purpose we would have a greater chance of conceiving. So I came off the pill in July without telling him. In my head I was doing such a noble thing for him, giving him a wonderful gift. I was wrong.
Turns out he really didn't want to try for a baby, and is now quite angry at me for taking what was essentially a joke and running with it behind his back. He is in complete shock and has asked me to be patient while he tries to get his head around this massive change and what it means for our future.
I am in now way looking for someone to tell me he's wrong and I am right, I can totally understand why he feels the way he does, I completely got it wrong. We are such a strong couple that this has really rattled me, I love him so much and hate that he feels betrayed by me.
I don't know what the future holds, or even if baby will stick, I just hope that we can find a way to get past this soon as I can't stand much more of feeling like this, and I know it's not good for baby!
I just wanted to share because honestly I feel so alone.