Ok, blunt question - privacy rules?

[xashleyx]

me and dh dont mind being nakedin front of our kids and its usually when we are away into the bath or getting dressed/undressed, they walk in on us on the toilet or in the bath, i bath with my baby, we dont have privacy in our house, well apart from my daughter wanting privacy when she poo's and wants the door closed, otherwise she wont do it

 

[morri]

I havent got kids, but when I was a kid we used to ran around the house(or in the garden in the summer) naked. Also we as family were also part in a big swimming club which practices nudity, so I didnt have a problem at all with it. It was just natural and you saw baby to very old people fat and slim everything.
(We also had a sauna too)

 

[Sam Pearson]

oooh..I have a question now...how did you explain menstruation?

We include it as part of our edcation about the reproductive system.

When they are very little and constantly follow me to the loo and they notice, say around 1yo, they get worried and might say "Mummy owie?" I say "no owie, vagina blood okay".

When they are a bit older, say 2yo, they might notice and say "just bagina blood, it okay" and I"ll start saying "yes, it means no baby this time".

When they are around 4yo I start looking in our Human Body book and it has a section on reproduction.

They help me do the laundry and see my cloth pads for the "bagina blood".

When I am pregnant I explain that this time there is no vagina blood for the duration of the pregnancy but that there will be a big period when the baby is born.

I can feel myself ovulate and it is quite sharp so I might stop what I am doing and say "ouch" which then requires an explanation and that is when we start to explain about ovulation and back to the Human Body book we go.

Sometimes a friend might have an eptopic pregnancy or similar and I have miscarried and birthed a sleeping baby so as those events arise they learn more.

Sometimes something will come up on a television show about contraception and we then explain that.

I take a moon day each month on the first day of my cycle if possible and on that day I relax a lot, treat myself to baths and special food, wear special clothes (not very special but extra loose around the tummy) and that teaches my boy and girls to honour the menstrual cycle for the amazing thing that it is.

I also use a menstrual cup and dilute the blood and use it on our garden so they understand about the cycle of life and the nutrients in blood and learn a bit more about gardening then also.

I have done a bit of menstrual blood art which they weren't too keen on but got over their ickiness and now they just take that in their stride.

The only downside to them being so clued in is that they will openly tell people all about it which most adults find a bit disconcerting. They actually know more than some adults about how it all works. My 11yo had to explain to an adult once that eggs aren't fertilised in the uterus but in the fallopian tubes.

I haven't reqached menopause yet but when I do I will share my experience with them just as I have shared my experience with puberty with them.

 

[Lightworker]

@ Smelly and Sam Pearson..thanks for the responses..I was abit taken aback because I was walking around the house and I forgot I was on my period and the tampon string was hanging (yikes..sorry if TMI)..anyway my DD1 asked, and I was speechless..will have to make sure I am ready when she asks next time...x

 

[JASMAK]

That is how my daughter learned about menstruation. It was right after I had Kelana, and was of course on the mother of all mother flows. We were in a public bathroom though, and she yelled "MOM WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING FROM YOUR VAGINA????" I head a little giggle from the stall next to me. I shushed her up...but we talked about it later. Since then, she has come in while I have been on the loo with my period. I tell her about it and she doesn't seem afraid. I have also told my kids about penis', vagina's, how a man puts his penis in the vagina to make a baby and a seed comes out and fertilizes the egg in the woman. If there is no baby, then the woman bleeds. They know alot. I don't think it's ever to young to say the basics. This is our bodies and it is just another function. I did add that God didn't want them to have sex until they were married. LOL...couldn't help it!

 

[Lightworker]

lol thats hilarious..but I feel so reassured about your openness and honesty. I also will say that "no sex before marriage"...before I had the children I always said I would never say that, but now haha...I probably will

 

[leahsbabybump]

no one ever told me about periods i thought i was bloody dying when it came lol i ran to the nurses room at school crying at everything everyone was like omg are you ok are you ok lol i was shaking like a leaf and everything hahaha

 

[shellie]

Hubby and I both sleep naked and the children often see us use the bathroom, bathe or get dressed. The children regularly wander around the house naked. We have no plans to change that until they start to show signs that they need some more privacy. I think for children not to see nudity at all and to view your body as something to be ashamed of could be quite damaging in the long run for them.

I'm the same - I always sleep naked and the children grew up seeing me wander around upstairs with no clothes on. My DH does always wear boxers in bed and puts on a dressing gown when he leaves the bedroom - but he is their step dad so it's more appropriate that he does.

It was always a pain when the kids had friends sleep over and I had to remember to put something on before I left the bedroom

To be honest I still do it now and my son is 18 and still living at home ... he has never said anything (and he's not backwards in coming forwards if something is on his mind) so I guess he just regards it as normal. He wanders around upstairs himself in just underpants, much as my eldest daughter does when she is home.

Tattie is a bit more modest for herself, but even she (like all of my kids) gets really peeved if I lock the bathroom door - they all think nothing of coming in and chatting to me if I'm on the loo or in the bath and get ratty if they don't have instant access to me LOL

I think it's healthy that they can regard bodies as being natural and just ... well, bodies, rather than as being sexual if that makes sense

^^^^ I agree with all of the above. Although I do wear PJ's in bed, but only because my house is freezing cold! xxx

 

[Sam Pearson]

@ Smelly and Sam Pearson..thanks for the responses..I was abit taken aback because I was walking around the house and I forgot I was on my period and the tampon string was hanging (yikes..sorry if TMI)..anyway my DD1 asked, and I was speechless..will have to make sure I am ready when she asks next time...x

Do be careful with this one. I've known little girls to try to put things in their vaginas copying.

I used to flat with a friend with a child when I was younger. He found tampons and asked what they were. His Mum panicked and told him they were ear plugs. One day shortly after that conversation he came out of the bathroom with one sticking out of each ear. We completely lost it laughing. That little boy is a grown man now so I"m sure he has learned what they are and where they go.

 

[Sam Pearson]

I have also told my kids about penis', vagina's, how a man puts his penis in the vagina to make a baby and a seed comes out and fertilizes the egg in the woman. If there is no baby, then the woman bleeds.

Knowledge is power as they say.

A bit OT but I was given a very vague and confusing story about the birds and bees from my mother. I decided I'd be very thorough with my boy. So, we had the talk, he was 4yo, I kept it simple but thought I had the bases covered.

At the end I said "Do you have any questions?"
He said "Yes, how do you get it off?"
I asked "How do you get what off?"
He said "How do you take your penis off to put it into the woman".

The poor boy was very relieved that the man's penis remained in situ.

 

[mommy43]

i agree with tattiesmum my kids will come in when im in the bath for a chat n not think twice
i think the more of an issue u make of keeping covered the more of a shock it would be for them to catch u out one day

 

[WantingABubba]

oooh..I have a question now...how did you explain menstruation?

We include it as part of our edcation about the reproductive system.

When they are very little and constantly follow me to the loo and they notice, say around 1yo, they get worried and might say "Mummy owie?" I say "no owie, vagina blood okay".

When they are a bit older, say 2yo, they might notice and say "just bagina blood, it okay" and I"ll start saying "yes, it means no baby this time".

When they are around 4yo I start looking in our Human Body book and it has a section on reproduction.

They help me do the laundry and see my cloth pads for the "bagina blood".

When I am pregnant I explain that this time there is no vagina blood for the duration of the pregnancy but that there will be a big period when the baby is born.

I can feel myself ovulate and it is quite sharp so I might stop what I am doing and say "ouch" which then requires an explanation and that is when we start to explain about ovulation and back to the Human Body book we go.

Sometimes a friend might have an eptopic pregnancy or similar and I have miscarried and birthed a sleeping baby so as those events arise they learn more.

Sometimes something will come up on a television show about contraception and we then explain that.

I take a moon day each month on the first day of my cycle if possible and on that day I relax a lot, treat myself to baths and special food, wear special clothes (not very special but extra loose around the tummy) and that teaches my boy and girls to honour the menstrual cycle for the amazing thing that it is.

I also use a menstrual cup and dilute the blood and use it on our garden so they understand about the cycle of life and the nutrients in blood and learn a bit more about gardening then also.

I have done a bit of menstrual blood art which they weren't too keen on but got over their ickiness and now they just take that in their stride.

The only downside to them being so clued in is that they will openly tell people all about it which most adults find a bit disconcerting. They actually know more than some adults about how it all works. My 11yo had to explain to an adult once that eggs aren't fertilised in the uterus but in the fallopian tubes.

I haven't reqached menopause yet but when I do I will share my experience with them just as I have shared my experience with puberty with them.

I think this post is BEAUTIFUL!

I think it's amazing that you teach your kids properly about human bodies, and don't make up lies (i.e - bird and the bees or stork stories)

And I think it's amazing that you use your menstual blood to garden!

 

[Sam Pearson]

Thanks WantingABubba. You do need to dilute the blood or you can kill the plants. I just don't mention to our dinner guests one of the ways we add nitrogen to our thriving garden Haha. We also put our hair from our hair brushes or haircuts into the compost which in turn goes on the veggie garden which in turn feeds us most days so it all seems to be a neat circle that works very nicely.

 

[TattiesMum]

Knowledge is power as they say.

A bit OT but I was given a very vague and confusing story about the birds and bees from my mother. I decided I'd be very thorough with my boy. So, we had the talk, he was 4yo, I kept it simple but thought I had the bases covered.

At the end I said "Do you have any questions?"
He said "Yes, how do you get it off?"
I asked "How do you get what off?"
He said "How do you take your penis off to put it into the woman".

The poor boy was very relieved that the man's penis remained in situ.

Bless him!

Also a bit OT but a friend of mine was changing her new son's nappy in front of my 2 year old daughter ... Charlotte pointed and asked 'what's that?' - cue an age appropriate discussion about penises and babies.

When I'd finished explaining she looked at me like I had gone mad and said 'I know that Mummy - but what's that ' ... she meant the disposable nappy (I used cloth)

 

[mommy43]

lol love it (id would of probably done the same i use cloth n often forget not everyone else does) sooo funny

 

[Sam Pearson]

When I'd finished explaining she looked at me like I had gone mad and said 'I know that Mummy - but what's that ' ... she meant the disposable nappy (I used cloth)

LOL She know's what's going on. I love that she didn't know what a disposible nappy was.

 

[WantingABubba]

Thanks WantingABubba. You do need to dilute the blood or you can kill the plants. I just don't mention to our dinner guests one of the ways we add nitrogen to our thriving garden Haha. We also put our hair from our hair brushes or haircuts into the compost which in turn goes on the veggie garden which in turn feeds us most days so it all seems to be a neat circle that works very nicely.

That's so cool! Well, I just started using a menstrual cup, and it's amazing! Do you use them? I also researched about the plant/blood thing, and wanna do that. Also, ya heard of menstrual art? I've been doing that since yesterday and it's SUPER fun!

 

[Sam Pearson]

That's so cool! Well, I just started using a menstrual cup, and it's amazing! Do you use them? I also researched about the plant/blood thing, and wanna do that. Also, ya heard of menstrual art? I've been doing that since yesterday and it's SUPER fun!

Yes I do use menstrual cups. I have used a Diva cup and lost it when we moved house so now I have a Lunette which I prefer - it seems easier to pop open. I love them. I still use cloth sometimes as back up with the cup on the first day of my cycle and sometimes on their own and use the soaking water on the plants.

And I do use the blood for artwork some of which is on my back fence.

 

[WantingABubba]

That's so cool! Well, I just started using a menstrual cup, and it's amazing! Do you use them? I also researched about the plant/blood thing, and wanna do that. Also, ya heard of menstrual art? I've been doing that since yesterday and it's SUPER fun!

Yes I do use menstrual cups. I have used a Diva cup and lost it when we moved house so now I have a Lunette which I prefer - it seems easier to pop open. I love them. I still use cloth sometimes as back up with the cup on the first day of my cycle and sometimes on their own and use the soaking water on the plants.

And I do use the blood for artwork some of which is on my back fence.

Omg, you're so f*cking cool. Friending you right now.

I use the Mooncup, by the way. I love it to bits.

Where are you located? I'm in the UK. Where can I buy cloth pads? I'm going to get some from online, but would like to actually buy some physically too.

EDIT - Oh , we're already friends. Are you TTC, by any chance?

 

[Sam Pearson]

Omg, you're so f*cking cool. Friending you right now.

LOL, thanks, you're funny. I didn't invent them or anything.

I'm in Australia and make my own cloth pads. I sandwich a layer of flannalette (my side) and a layer of corduroy (on the underwear side) and in between put 2-3 layers of terry toweling from really old towels so they are very absorbent and it makes use of the old towels. I try to reuse pjs for the flanalette side for the abosrbency, too. The corduroy I use with the lines going the short way and this fabric means the pad grips so no need for wings - so long as you use cotton undies they won't slide. You can stack them for heavier days and I have made some extra long ones for night time and thinner ones for lighter days. I colour code them with different colour corduroy so that I now at a glance which one I'm grabbing out of the box. The trick is not to make them wider than you underwear or they bunch up. Also, you do have to be aware and grab the pad along with your undies when going to the loo or the pad can end up in the loo (I've done that more times than I can count and it's never nice having to fish them out again).

I keep two containers by the loo. One with fresh pads and the other an ice cream container (or any container with a lid) with some water and I pop the used pads in there to soak them until laundry day. I don't leave them more than a day or two other wise I'd refresh the water daily. I have a little sign on the soaking container "open at your own risk, menstrual pads soaking within" but if toddlers are visiting I put it up high.

Thanks for friending me. No, not TTC, I'm 47 and have had all the babies I am going to have I reckon although no signs of menopause, not even close, so you never know. We don't use contraception and are only loosely careful not to conceive. OH is 10 years younger and there is always room for babies in our home. I am happy with my lot and have lots of babies in my life and a sweet English staffy who is my fur baby but you never know....I still get clucky.