ok so who wants to get pregnant in 2011? (closed group)

[Huggles]

as flying said - the alarms usually sound after 20 seconds. It's only too late after 3-5 min (although sometimes can be resuscitated but brain damage risk sets in after that amount of time.
With the respisense and snuza they vibrate after 15 seconds (call it tummy tickle) which sometimes is all that's needed to get bubs to breathe again. Other times if you just pick them up they will start breathing again. So definitely not too late.

I must say i'm the worst with the sids stuff, i think i break every rule in the book. He has slept on his tummy since 6 weeks old, had a cot bumper in his main crib which he used in the day since 2 months and at night from 5 months (we removed it now that we lowered the cot base only because we have a drop side and can't use that with a bumper), he sleeps at the head of his cot, not the bottom, and he's covered in 3-4 blankets at night, pulled right up high. We've never yet had a problem, but i do feel loads safer about it knowing the monitor is there to alert us should something happen.

Honestly, i tend to feel if a baby is going to stop breathing it'll happen no matter how you position them. 20 years ago it was a sids risk to sleep a baby on it's back, and considered safer on their tummies. Today it's the other way around.
My cousin's child nearly choked to death on reflux when put to sleep on his back, and logan nearly smothered himself numerous times as a newborn when swaddled and lain on a sleep positioner (meant to reduce the risk of sids).

So i just decided to do what works for us and trust that the monitor will alert us if there's a problem, and so far so good.

 

[nypage1981]

Awww, the letter sounds beautiful. I love it!

SIDS- a reason that babies sleeping in the parent's room are less likely to die of SIDS is because as we sleep our normal respirations sounds go in tune with the babie's. Its physiological. They can hear us, and their body falls into our rythym and keeps them breathing.
And the monitors work because of this : a baby will stop breathing for a few seconds regularily. All will do this. However, if they are in too deep of a sleep (reason to NOT let them sleep too warmly either) their body will not restart their own breathing. If the sensor picks it up, often the alarm warning beep will put their body back into it's own breathing pattern, and if not, then we do have a lot of time to react. A thing that was always warned about these monitors is that you must also prepare yourself to know exactly what to do if it alarms. In case it calls for, you need to be educated on how to perform the resusciattion, otherwise of course it wouldn't work. We had it go off a few times and I jarred him (without looking at him, so im not sure if he was or was not breathign) but that was enough and he was just fine. Most likely his body would have stirred itself back into a breathing pattern and he would have been fine. Or most likely it was a false alarm, but what matters is it is the absolute best I can do to prevent SIDS.

Most likely, the basinett won't be an issue, just as well as the monitor wireless waves, but we all have to believe in what we are doing to protect our children, no matter what it takes. So if the non meshed sides of the bed will bother you, get a different one. We had one that had mesh sides and I would never have felt OK having one with no meshing. I also use a bumper right now that is airflow and would never dream of having a fluffy bumper or blanket in his bed. Until just this month, we never had a blanket on him in his bed. I am now feeling ok to use the really thin receiving blankets and am quite proud to be to that step. Lol. We all have our things that make us feel better so follow your gut!

 

[sherylb]

I didn't intend to use bumpers but the night I watched my daughter ram her head into the side of her crib over and over I had to stop it.

 

[nypage1981]

Lol, yea I wouldn't want that either. Mine doesn' t move too much in his crib, he rolls side to side and flips on his stomach but not much head bumping.

 

[NDH]

The way my midwife explained the SIDS safe sleeping is that there are three categories of babies. The largest group (say 90% for simplicity of the example though I have no idea the actual value) are the hsrdy babies that you can do anything with and they'll be perfectly fine. The smallest group (2% for the sake of my example only) are unfortunately going to die no matter how safe you are The middle group (8%, again example only) are the babies that are being saved by the SIDS safe sleeping methods. There's just no way of knowing which group your baby falls in

But as we've all discovered as mothers sometimes you have to evaluate ways better - a baby who sleeps on his tummy or a baby who wont sleep at all? Or as Sheryl discovered in Kristin's case, bumpers are sometimes necessary. So yes the "rules" are there for a good reason, but don't stress about not following all of them to a T (i've yet to meet anyone who does). Follow your mommy instincts and do what feels right to you. The odds are already in your favour, and just having him in your room in a basinette drastically increases those odds.

 

[sherylb]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/s720x720/482084_573965362833_1350402152_n.jpg

Kristin's Protective Crib :-D

I have one of those things that goes over the front rail to keep her from biting it but haven't needed to put it on yet.

 

[sarahincanada]

aww look how cute she is!

thanks everyone for your thoughts on all this

now theres so much else for me to learn. things like burping, you always have to burp your child before they go back to sleep right? and pacifiers/dummies..when do they start using them and why. I know they can get hooked on them and some dont like using them, so just wondered the reasonings for both.

theres so many things the classes didnt cover and I wonder who will be telling me, I suppose the midwife. or no-one I have to figure it out lol

 

[NDH]

Sara only needed to be burped for the first couple months. , then she started burping herself if she needed to (sometimes doesn't, especially if she feeds lying down which she does most of the time lately). Some babies need to be burped til they're 1.

We gave Sara a soother (actually my parents did and we just found it easier to continue) when she was a week old.

 

[sherylb]

aww look how cute she is!

thanks everyone for your thoughts on all this

now theres so much else for me to learn. things like burping, you always have to burp your child before they go back to sleep right? and pacifiers/dummies..when do they start using them and why. I know they can get hooked on them and some dont like using them, so just wondered the reasonings for both.

theres so many things the classes didnt cover and I wonder who will be telling me, I suppose the midwife. or no-one I have to figure it out lol

Kristin was very hard to burp for me but she spit up more when I didn't burp her. I only tried burping her the first few months and then when it got harder I figured she was good. She also learned to burp on her own. She hated pacis so I wouldn't get too many of one kind. There's lots that people won't tell you unless you ask but you have us as a great resource just as I have.

 

[Huggles]

i burped logan for the first few months, but i never put too much effort into it, and especially if he was sleeping. Don't think i ever tried more than 2 min for a burp. If he didn't burp i left it.
Also, sleeping on his tummy the burps would come up a lot easier on their own.

He got a dummy/paci in the hospital already. Then i took it away at 8 days because he'd lost too much weight due to me having no milk at all. So he was spending too much energy sucking on me and getting nothing back, so losing loads of weight. So i took the dummy away so he didn't waste energy on that too. Gave it back after a week when he'd picked up a good amount of weight (formula). He then used it a fair amount for about 2 months, a little bit for another month, and then just didn't want it anymore. I think he might have still used it a bit at night at 4 months, but after that he didn't want to know about it.
Somehow the daycare still get him to suck it sometimes, but if i try he takes it straight out his mouth and looks at it like it's some alien or something. And if i try and put it in his mouth to help him sleep he gags horribly and gets all upset. So i don't bother - we never give him a dummy anymore. I figured why force something on him that i'm only going to struggle to get away at a later stage.

 

[sherylb]

Agree with Huggles. We have a friend whose 29 month old still uses a paci and I think it's affecting her speech. I can't understand 95% of what she says because it sounds slurred, she hardly ever takes it out unless she is eating so she tries to talk through it, and now her mom has a 6 month old so doesn't want to deal with the repercussions of taking it away.

 

[flyingduster]

I've never used a pacifier with Caleb. They are great for some babies and I don't have any issue with them, but I think they're also a problem for some too, so I wouldn't be giving him one unless you found a reason to try one. I know my brother HATED being on his back right from day one, and the only way my mum could get him to not be screaming his lungs out was to give him a pacifier when changing his nappy! lol! But then Caleb has never needed one so I've never used one for him!

And for burping I was much the same as huggles; I'd try for a min or two when he was little, but didn't push the issue at all, and I rarely ever tried burping him at night unless he was fussing. I don't even know when I stopped burping him, it was just we gradually did it less and less, so that it became only a thing I'd try for him if he was fussing, but it wasn't done after every feed at all.

 

[NDH]

Yes my only problem with pacifier is when they talk with them. Its sooooo bad for their speech development. Would have preferred Sara not to have one at all but hey ho. I don't care if she still sleeps with one at 4 (hope she doesn't but its better for the teeth than thumb sucking lol) but she absolutely will not be allowed to talk with it. Not sure when i'll try weaning her from it though.

 

[sarahincanada]

so I had a bit of a panic attack and went for a last minute cancellation scan on saturday, I hadnt been feeling bub that much and MW scared me saying 3rd trimester losses are more common in my age group (she was only saying to be aware and to make sure i feel movement through the day, but it wasnt nice to hear). Hubby was not happy but when he saw me crying he soon came around.
Bub was sleeping most of the time so we didnt get many good shots, when he moved the placenta was in the way but we got a couple at the end. But we saw him smile, yawn and stretch so I feel better! he definitely looks more chubby than last time. only 10 weeks to go, cant wait xxx

so then yesterday I went for a massage and he had a pillow thing where your bump hangs into, it was sooo comfy. well bub was kicking up a storm the whole time! so i wonder if its just the way he sits when Im sitting and lying, I guess my placenta really cushions at all. Ive googled people who have had pregnancies with a front placenta and without and they were shocked how much more they felt when it wasnt in the front.

 

[flyingduster]

I'm sorry you were scared, but yay for seeing him again and all being well!!!!!!!!!

 

[NDH]

I saw the photos on FB and wondered how you talked hubby into another scan. I'm sorry it came about as a result of worry but I'm glad he's well and healthy and you got another look at him.

 

[Huggles]

glad you got another scan for reassurance. Lovely pics

 

[sarahincanada]

thanks everyone!

so regarding the pacifier I should only use one if I need to, so when would I know to try one? I see a lot of kids with them and just wondered if they were a necessity! Id prefer not as I dont want anything that might be a problem to get rid of later. also if you are breastfeeding can it confuse? you know how they say not to introduce a bottle for 6 weeks (Id like to pump one day so hubby could help out).

I purchased a DVD called happiest baby on the block that a few people have recommended. he recommends these 5 'S's' I think it is, one of them is swaddling...did you guys do that?
apparantly his calming techniques are
1) Swaddle the baby (using Karp's special tight technique); 2) place the baby on his side or stomach; 3) shush him loudly; 4) swing or bounce him rhythmically; and 5) give him something to suck on.
I will watch the dvd this week

I just feel we will get him home and then be like 'now what' and its hard as there are so many opinions out there and each one sounds good with pros and cons. my hubbies aunt was mentioning the crying it out thing the other day, her cousin is a pediatrician and it was the only thing that worked. I would have a hard time with that so prefer first to try other things. then on the other end of the spectrum my massage therapist said his son slept with them till he was 12! but his son is an amazing boy, an athlete and great at school, so was it that bad.

I know we are supposed to go with out gut but what if my gut doesnt know

 

[nypage1981]

Your gut will def know! The paci thing- don't give if you don't want to. Many don't, but many do.....I tried because I was being used as a pacifier by him and he didn't want the paci and refused it profusely. It takes away from the problem now, but I used to wish he would take one!

Glad all was ok with bubs!

 

[Huggles]

a lot of bf literature says not to introduce a paci too early as it can cause confusion. So i'd say if you're not keen on them then just don't offer one.

You might not know what your gut says now, but that's cause bubs isn't here yet. Once he's here you'll know what to do. I had lots of opinions about exactly how i'd do things and now i'm doing a lot of things differently. You go with what works for you and your family at the time.

As for that video - we watched a piece of it in our hypnobirthing class - where he swaddles the baby and then flips it onto it's tummy on his arm and baby instantly shuts up. We were so intrigued and couldn't wait to try it. I tried it once in hospital and it seemed to work (although i really struggled to get him on his tummy on my arm), but never really worked again and we didn't really use it.

I wrote down those 5 S's but don't think i ever referred to them. But then again logan has been a fairly easy baby. I think if baby is crying and crying and you really just don't know what to do anymore then it's good to have things like that to refer to for some guidance.