older kids with baby

[taylor197878]

i have 3 children my little boy is 5 and doesnt really understand that much about it but he touches my belly and kisses the lo goodnight and he talks alot about the lo,

but the problem im having is my 2 older kids karine is 10 and think its totally horriable if she sees my tummy she just looks at me in disgust she thinks the whole pregrancy thing is discusiting,

my eldest amy is 14 and she told me last night she was embrassed to go out with me as im pregrant i dont get it its not like im a older mum im only 31

i thought girls loved the whole baby thing.

when the lo kicks away i asked them both to come in and feel the lo and they both said no i was hoping i could share the pregrancy with them as they were older and knew more.

also i have my 20 week scan in 29th of june and i asked both girls if they wanted to come as they have finished school for the summer they both said no and karine said its to discusting to come and c.

the only 1 that likes it is zack and he dosnt understand that much.

is anyone in the same postion and know if they will come round.

tks

 

[Knonie]

Hi hun

I'm not in the same position as my dd is 5 and I have no other children but I do have a few friends with older children. Do you think it may be that its a combination of pubity and that they're experiencing the old 'oh my god my parents still do it' feelings??? It could be confusing them as they are having difficulty in adjusting to their own new thoughts and feelings right about now? Just a thought.. perhaps sit them down separately and see if you can get them to open up as to why they feel like this... I've come across boys with this reaction but not usually girls but that's not to say it isn't a perfectly natural reaction... have you spoken to your midwife about it?

 

[pinkmummy]

Sorry I am not in the same position as C was 2 when I was pregnant but she loved playing with my tummy.

Were they the same when you had Zack?

Maybe try and get them involved a little more. Take them out shopping to get baby clothes with you and maybe buy them some things too. Try and sit down and have a chat with them and ask why they are so against the pregnancy and see if you can resolve the issue

Good luck hun xx

 

[taylor197878]

tks for ur replys

tired talking to them but they just say its horribale when i was pregrant with zack amy wasnt that bad and karine ws to young really to understand but i dont think it was as bad as its is the now.

im sure once the lo arrives it will be different i dont think my 10 year old understands about babies in tummys she prop just thinks its horriable

i thought the scan would involve them more but they dont want to come

i thought girls loved the whole baby thing but looks like mine dont.

 

[Mommy2Kian]

Do you think they are slightly jelous of you giving this little unborn baby attention, and how different it might be when LO arrives? just a thought

 

[taylor197878]

tks

they are not really the jelous type but i can c what u mean and its something i havent thought about think ill have to sit them down again and have a word with them.

 

[little_pod]

Hmmm this is a tough one, it is normally older boys that dont want to know rather than girls. Im not in the same situation, i dont have any children, this baby is my 1st, but i am a nanny for 2 older children, a boy who is 5 and girl who is 9, and they both love the idea that i am having a baby. 5 yr old strokes tummy, and talks about what we can call the baby, and the 9 year old girl asks about going shopping with me to get bits and pieces-bigger clothes for me, and looks at cute baby clothes!and has said when baby is here she wants lots of cuddles and wants to feed baby and play with him/her!
Maybe like someone said, it could be the fact that "my parents are still doing it" that has put your 14 yr old off, and are any of her friends parents having babies now?( hence the "im embarressed to go out with you" bit ) and maybe with your 10 year old, think it might be a little bit of jealousy.She was too little to understand when your son was born, but now she knows that baby will get lots of attention and obv your 5 year old still needs help with things so maybe she feels she is going to be well and truley left out?
Im not sure how you can sort this other than talk to them. You have tried to get them invloved.....hmmmm.How about a girly night in-just the 3 of you, a film they both like with pizza takeaway and some pop corn.. other than talking and telling them how much you love them and how proud you are of them being such great big sisters to your son, i dotn know what else to suggest.
Sorry for long post!
I have worked in family house holds where older children are going to have a newborn baby brother/sister, but this has always just been a jealousy thing, and the parents have had to get them involved as much as possible, rather them feeling left out.
Hope you get this sorted x

 

[taylor197878]

tks for ur reply

my 14 year old parents are like in there 50s as i was young when i had amy i think thats prop why its embarrising for her her pals think its great she has a young mum but she always tells me she hates it.

see my 5 year old loves it alot like the boy u watch i actaully thought he would be the 1 that wouldnt be intrested.

as for my 10 year old im thinking ill have to talk to her when she comes baack from her dads house it could just be a kid thing.

 

[Shwhattam+1]

I understand your situation. When my OH and I planned our baby, I really didn't expect my 16 yo daughter to have any issues with it. I took for granted that she would be excited...that was a mistake on my part.

Don't get me wrong, she's really been great with me and is coming around a lot...but I know initially the idea was upsetting to her. I think it was a combination of things. She had issues with the age difference. I'm a young mom also, so all her friends' parents are well past having more babies, so she had nothing to compare her experience to. She also had concerns with how it was going to change our relationship. Was the baby going to replace her...was she still going to maintain her status in the family.

The one thing I've done which has really made a difference is dropped all expectations. I invited her to my u/s and left the decision in her hands. I told her that she can be as involved as she wants and that at the end of the day, this baby will never replace her in any way.

 

[KellyC75]

I have 2 Sons, aged 17 & 7 & they are both looking forward to a new Brother or Sister

When I had DS2, I tried my hardest to involve DS1 as much as possible, he even cut the cord! (I had a Csection & asked the midwifes to leave a small length for him to cut when he arrived)

I know you say that your Girls arent the jelous type, but I wonder if they worry about how this is gonna change 'their lives'....Dont forget, when your that age, its ALL ABOUT YOU!' .....Im sure you are, but just try & reassure them

Im sure that they will be lovely big sisters to the new baby....Good luck