Omg guys

[jozylynn896]

I just got back from speaking to OHs freaking family

His parents were being so kind to me. They were being so fucking nice and supportive. But his siblings wouldn't even look at me. Literally they were even ignoring my mom. Which I thought was really rude seeing as this is the first time they even meet her!
But they said that I can move in whenever and blah blah
I just don't know
I really want to but I would never feel comfortable.
But as we are gonna start a family, its responsible to be living together.
I'm just worried our relationship will be ruined?

 

[lunar]

If you're not comfortable now, there's no real guarantee you will be later.. Have you thought about maybe trying to slowly adjust? Sort of transition by spending a few nights/days at your boyfriends house before just moving all your stuff over?

Personally, I don't think it would ruin your relationship if you guys lived together, but it might if you're uncomfortable and unhappy at his house. My boyfriend pretty much lives here with me and my family, and it has put a strain on our relationship in some ways -- I find I get annoyed with him a lot easier and we snap at each other more. I think it comes to having to adjust to someone in a more personal way since you're seeing each other every day for most of the day.

If you don't want to, though, then don't.. But if you want to try and make it work, try slowly transitioning yourself. Hopefully that helps/works!

 

[thecurlymama]

My boyfriend and I live across the street from each other and I spend every night over there, but do the rest of my stuff over here (ex: most meals, chores, etc...) I brush my teeth and shower there sometimes but it's nice to still have my own home base across the street. He's 19 (i'm 16) and he still lives with his mom, and I still live with my parents. I've found when we spend more time together we seem to find new things about each other every day... I spend so much time with him that i've gotten really comfortable doing natural things around him, and it's easy to wake up next to him with no makeup, messy hair, swolen pregnant face and an achy back... it doesn't feel uncomfortable at all! Now that he's moving into his own place in a couple of weeks I feel like I can go over there and be totally comfortable- and even move in after our little on is born in 6 months!

I like the idea of slowly adjusting- it's worked for me so far. I can understand about the siblings, though..that could make things awkward. Talk to your boy about it? Maybe he can talk to them or find a way to make it easier for you to be comfortable around them even if they're not acting normal or welcoming. Do you think it's possible that they might be jealous ? It is their sibling and if they're really close with him it might be hard for them to "let him go" in a sense? I know my boyfriend's mom and some of his close friends are feeling that way....However, after some straight forward honest conversations I feel a lot more comfortable around them and they're a lot more supportive and friendly now!

Good luck! xx
Emma

 

[lizmageeful]

I wish I could be more of a help, but we kind of had a situation where my OH had to move in with us IMMEDIATELY because he was kicked out of his house, and we didnt get "adjustment time". But then again, we're more in love than ever. We have fights, of course, but they are rarely ever explosive blow up fights. I really like living together with him, its nice to always have him to lean on for whatever. I think its brought us way closer together.

 

[jozylynn896]

OH keeps saying he thinks it will strengthen our relationship. I ythink that it would too.
OH and I have showered together I can use the bathroom around him fart in front of him whatever! We're so in love but I'm just scared that he will get tired of me.
Also, his siblings are definatley going to make me feel pretty uncomfy.
His home is a better environment for me & our William (LO).
He has more space there and his parents will help us out a lot more than my mother could.
I guess its a sacrifice that I have to make.

 

[Kissel]

So I am not a teen mom (I am in my mid-20's) and I don't know the whole situation, BUT...I think that you should try to avoid living with either set of parents if at all possible. I am married and I like my in-laws, but I would never live with them. If you get into a simple disagreement then his family is most likely going to side with him simply because they are his parents. My SIL lives with her parents-in-law and she is at the point where she is ready to divorce her husband. She has nowhere to go and her in-laws do not support her. (Her husband abruptly quit his job because he didn't like it and she works full time, goes to school full time, and her husband can't be bothered to change a diaper...oh...and he wants to use all of their savings to open a pizza shop instead of buying a house of their own.)

I think that it is important to start your family in the most supportive environment possible. If your OH is very supportive until his parents come around then try to find somewhere that both of you can start off alone. If he is very supportive with his parents around then it should be something you should consider (afterall, he can support you emotionally and he has other sources of support to keep him going to keep you going, etc). As far as his mother's behavior toward your family, it may be her way of acting because she is uneasy about how thins might go. It's not right for her to be mean or unwelcoming, but it might be hard for her because she just sin't sure what to do.

Ultimately you are going to be a mom and you need to decide what is going to be best for you and your baby in the long run.

 

[jozylynn896]

Thank you
Of course we would do that if it were possible
His dad wants us to stay there and save up every dime so that we can get our own place eventually. I first have to finish high school after that we can do whatever.
Its just so stressful right now :/

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

Don't force yourself into that kind of decision if you aren't 100% happy doing it. You wil end up unhappy and your relationship will suffer for it. Having a baby puts added strain on a relationship as it is