On the road again graduates

[Starry Night]

Aw, congrats, Red! A little girl! Other than for Left, this has proven to be a very girly thread so far. I can't wait to see the scan pics.

skye - what you say about being broody sounds so familiar to me. That's how I have been feeling on my journey to TTC#2. It just becomes an obsession, doesn't it? I don't think people can fully comprehend just how much TTC can take over your life until it becomes a struggle...whether through infertility or m/c....or both.

Not much longer until you start properly TTC again and I hope you get your rainbow straight away!

afm - dh and I had bit of a talk today. He's so good for putting up with me. I still have to deal with this depression but he was able to get some smiles and laughs...eventually. I'm lucky to have him.

 

[Left wonderin]

Skye I can empathise with your all consuming feelings . Its like the interest in everything else just isn't there anymore its so hard ! I found it was worth making the effort and dragging myself to social events ( even though they were the last thing I wanted to do ! ) I always felt much better afterwards even just coffee with the girls as it reminded me that there was life outside of TCC . You can get ALL CONSUMED with living in your own head
As Starry said not long ow and you will be right back in the saddle , until then hang in there xxxxxxxxxx

Red so I see I was right a little Princess for you yahoooooooooooooooo can't wait to see her first photos ...... It really is such an emotional experiences made more so after our experiences of losses .

Starry sounds like you oh is to be treasured and it does sound like hormones are giving you a hard time . I recall right around the stage your at it ALL felt TOO MUCH like the worry of the first tri would never end, the feeling ucky would never end , the tiredness would never end and just when I thought I can't do this any more ...... Hey presto I began to feel MUCH better almost overnight my energy returned and I felt good again . Hang in there , talk to your ob but hopefully by the time the appointment comes around you will have turned a corner and be feeling on top of the world !

 

[Carybear]

congrats Red!!!! A little girl for you!!!!

 

[Topanga053]

Congrats Red!! So exciting!!!!

Starry, I'm so sorry hun. I don't struggle with depression on an ongoing basis, but I've had two depressive episodes in my life (one of which was after the loss and while we were TTCAL) and it really sucks the joy out of everything. It's such an awful feeling to have to deal with. I was on antidepressants when we were TTCAL and both my doctor and my OB said they were safe to take when I got my BFP. I made the personal decision to stop them at that point because the depression was really linked to TTCAL, so it lifted pretty much entirely once we got the BFP. But if I had kept feeling that way, it probably would have been worth it to continue on with the meds.

Skyesmom, sorry, no advice here. I struggled with exactly the same thing, so just know you're not alone hun.

Cary, thanks for asking! Everything is going well here. 30 weeks today!! I can't believe we're that close to the end! My only struggle is still feeling a bit of a panic if it's been a little while since I've felt her move. Like now. I felt her last night before bed, but haven't felt her yet at all this morning, so I'm a little bit anxious. The worry has lessened so much, but it's amazing that sometimes small things can still make me worry what I assume is more than most women who haven't had a loss. So for now, I'm just praying that she gives me a good kick soon so I can relax!

 

[RedWylder]

Pictures from yesterday. I'm still completely in awe of the prospect of having a girl.

https://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/lbkaiser/962c0830-061c-4c3f-bbab-ebb4dec36b2d_zps1624d526.jpg

https://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/lbkaiser/photo1_zps547ece37.jpg

https://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/lbkaiser/dabb4795-7ffe-43ad-970b-85b3d931364c_zps920578d3.jpg

https://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/lbkaiser/photo6_zps5124f57a.jpg

 

[Starry Night]

Aw, Red, what lovely scan pictures!! And that is a very clear potty shot. Definitely a little girlie. And you look so glowy in that bump photo. That is the sweetest little bump.

Left - yeah, my DH is really wonderful. He takes care of me and is so sympathetic to my mood swings, fears and general neurosis. He always says he knew what he was getting himself into when he married me. ha ha Whenever my friends complain about their hubbies I have a hard time relating as he helps clean, he listens to my rambles and lets me cry and he's actually quite sentimental and romantic. The other night there was a really soft, quiet snow and he made me come outside and just enjoy it with him. ha ha

And thanks for the encouraging words. I do hope I am feeling better by my next appointment. Today I feel a little better. I am still really tired but that could be the baby draining the life out of me. And I still have my concerns about my iron levels.

 

[Topanga053]

Love it Red!!! You're definitely glowing!!!

 

[skyesmom]

omg red!!! congratulations on your little girl!!!! yay!!!!! you look amazing!!

and thank you girls for your understanding, empathy and support, i'd go crazy without you!! at least ranting here offers some relief, knowing i'll be understood!!

 

[rayraykay]

skyesmom you are ALWAYS welcome here and I know I speak for every one of us when I say I can't wait to go on your TTC journey with you and share in your joy when you get your BFP and go on to meet your rainbow babe.

Red! A girl! YAY! I am so happy for you, congratulations. Beautiful pictures.

Starry- I also understand the woes of the first trimester, feeling it will never end. I also got myself into this head trick that by not allowing myself to believe I was pregnant and assuming that I'd have a miscarriage, that I would actually think it into happening. It was awful. I hope that with every appointment you start to feel more relief. I also hope you and DH can have a night out soon!!! Adult time is always helpful. I truly think you will feel better after you enter the 2nd trimester. Although all your worries won't subside, I do believe you will start to feel better.

Hi cary! Thank you for asking! I was doing really well, still feeling comfortable and because of my diet (blessing and a curse!!!!!) I haven't felt huge at all, which has been nice. I woke up on Sunday, and whoooaaa freakin nelly, baby girl has dropped. I mean like, realllllyyyy dropped. I hurt preeettttyyy badly. It hurts to move, it hurts to lay down, it just hurts. Haha. I am really thinking she might be early. I was 1.5 cm dilated, 60% effaced, -2 station on Tuesday of last week... I have an appt on Thursday... so I am truly hoping I will have made more progress. My doc predicted early on Tuesday 11/26.... so I am hoping she still thinks that. I literally feel like I am walking with a ball between my legs. It's insane. We will see!

Hope everyone is doing well, xoxoxo

 

[Carybear]

Red you look fantastic!

Topanga, glad things are going good... not much longer now..

Rayray... wow!!!! I'm thinking you are next and right around the corner. Seems like just yesterday you were trying to get through the 1st trimester.

Starry... You'll get through this time and before you know it, you too will be welcoming your new little one...

Hiya Left
Skyesmom... I'm right here with you. We'll get there...

 

[RedWylder]

Awe rayray you are so close. Cherish these last few day/weeks that you can be selfish with your baby and hog her to yourself. Apparently there is no other time you can cart her everywhere with you ( even to work). But Im sorry youre so uncomfortable. Are you ready for her arrival?

Anchor, how are you and evelyn?

 

[rayraykay]

Yeah jeez time really does fly by. This has gone incredibly fast looking back on it now.

I am definitely enjoying these last few weeks (possibly days) but towards the end, especially after your LO drops.. it's just hard to function haha. I still love feeling her kick and squirm around in there. I have read again and again that babies slow down and you mainly just feel rolls and slow movements, but I still feel full on kicks from her. It makes me hopeful that she isn't huge because it feels like she still has room in there.

yeah!! How are you anchor?! How's baby Evelyn? I bet she's growing so much every day!

 

[skyesmom]

rayray where did the time go???? my god you're about to welcome ur rainbow girl anytime soon, seems it was days since ur gender scan and ur first mini bump picture!!

i hope u get to enjoy these last weeks or days with her and that the pain eases up a little bit as ur body adjusts to her new position (although i don't know if it's actually possible for ur cervix&pelvis to go into permanent zen state and ignore several lb of baby pushing onto them 24/7!!!!)

carybear, thanks for your support!! and we'll get there!!

OH and i agreed on NTNP (from 2014) by the way, i think it's way better for the sakes of my mental sanity. i feel that temping and charting would just turn me into an obsessive compulsive mad scientist, and if anything, in my silly mind, this may kinda scare that little soul sitting on the cloud waiting to be conceived and thinking: "mom, that's scary. relax."
...and not to mention, our sexy times will be way better this way!!

 

[Starry Night]

rayray - you're so close now!! It doesn't take too long after the baby drops. A few weeks tops. Doesn't feel like you're sitting on the baby's head? It's so strange. Driving down bumpy roads is also "fun" during the time. It's so exciting to think your little girl is coming so soon.

afm - I'm a little afraid to bring it up, but a big part of the reason I've been so down lately is my angel's due date is coming up on Sunday. Due dates are always the worst/hardest for me.

 

[RedWylder]

skyes- NTNP is sooo much better on you mentally. I felt so free when I hid my thermometer.

Starry- nothing ever replaces our lost ones but hopefully this new rainbow in your tummy will help ease the pain.

Rayray- I'm just so dang excited for you. This is the climax of your story where everythng is peaking and about to rush to the end.

 

[Starry Night]

I just don't want rayray to feel badly about being so near the end when I'm having an angel due date. That's why I feel hesitant to bring it up. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade. I'm genuinely excited and happy for you.

 

[skyesmom]

starry love, if you can't bring those things up HERE, where can you??? if someone learned and someone knows how to both joy and suffer at the same time, and acknowledge all these feelings for people, it's us here!!

we all know way too well how hard and how important the angel due dates are, and yet acknowledging this and showing support to each other doesn't shade or steal the stage to other's happiness!!

there is no stage or spotlight to steal here!!! )))))))))) i send you a massive hug!

 

[rayraykay]

Starry- please please don't feel like you can't talk about your angel due date on here because of me. I 100% understand and that's what this forum is for. We have all been thru it! I had my D&C on 11/19 of last year... and every once in awhile I think about how I felt this time last year. I just wanna hop in a time machine and go back to myself and tell the Rachel of last year that it's gonna be okay. For some reason, this year, I found it harder to pass the date of my D&C then my due date in June. I don't think there will ever be a June 12th that goes by that I don't think of my angel baby, but remembering the emotional and physical pain of my D&C and the events that followed... that was just gruesome. I wouldn't wish it on ANYONE. (How's that for a parade rain? ha) I so appreciate your consideration, but you will not rain on my parade. I promise. That is what this forum is for, support. Even tho we are all in different stages of moving on, losing a baby is something that sticks with you, and it's always okay to talk about it especially with women who have been there. If you can Starry- try and hang onto to the fact that your rainbow is growing inside you. THIS is the baby you're meant to have. Every time I get sad about losing my baby last fall, I think about the fact I would never have been able to meet Sloane, and I truly believe she is the baby I am meant to have.

Thank you ladies for the support! I am about to go on my elliptical for 20 minutes (thats about all I can manage now... to try to make sure the doctor gives me good news tomorrow!!) I can'ttttt waaiiitttttt! Seriously thank you for all the well wishes. I am so honored and grateful to be a part of this group. I am so thrilled for each of you, and have great feelings about where everyone is at in their journey to conception, or their due date. I just have a feeling that every single woman on this board will have their rainbow.

What is everyone up to today? I honestly just feel like I am finding ways to kill time now... ha ha

 

[Starry Night]

Thanks, everyone. My first angel's 3rd birthday is 2 days after the upcoming due date and a few days ago marked the loss of my son's twin so it's just a rough time of year all around. The saying is that bad things come in threes so December is done with bad times...as is May (one angel due date and two m/c anniversaries there too). So yeah....feeling good that this is my rainbow. Also, all the little flutters inside of me are reassuring.

Today we're having our first real snowstorm of the season. We've had a fair amount already but it has all come in patches. A few centimetres here and there until it has built up. But today it's coming in droves. Visibility isn't horrible right now but there is the threat of blowing snows. Schools are open and busses are running. In my old hometown this would have shut down the city but we didn't get snow like this very often. I love it! Just having a lazy morning watching the snow from my living room window, listening to Christmas music and letting DS play at my feet. I hope to make cookies this afternoon. Just hoping for the energy to be there when I need it!

 

[RedWylder]

I think I'm with you Rayray...just passing time. I am so anxious to get to V-day so I can finally kick the fear of miscarriage. I realize other bad things can happen but at least if I went into labor early there would be hope for the little one. Technically I'm already past "miscarriage" possibility and have moved onto still birth but what evs. I still think of it the same way.

Anywho... now that we now our munchkin is a little girl we are pretty set on the name Piper. We've liked it since about 4 weeks and always thought that if it was a girl, that would wind up being her name. Soooo now onto the task of picking a middle name. So far we've got Piper Quinn and Piper Jane but I'm not sure on either one.