On the road again graduates

[Starry Night]

Ladies, you're nearing the end. I know you have 10ish weeks to go but it's all normal. The baby is getting bigger and running out of room.

 

[Left wonderin]

Thanks starry , thinking of you on the annevarsary of the loss of your LO xxxxxxx

 

[Carybear]

hi everyone...
Starry... So sorry about yesterday... Passing my due date and the one year anniversary of my mc without celebrating a BFP was very difficult. But I got to thinking about our LO and you know... at least he never suffered pain or had to endure all the bad things that this earth throws at us... For that I can be grateful!

I can't believe how close you all are coming... And Starry... YEAH for making it past 15 weeks.... Can't wait to find out what you are having

this time is just hard because I take care of everyone else's kids...

I would love to see a fertility specialist (and did so in a sneaky way last July) but the initial visit was all I could do (They marked it unusual bleeding or something like that).. Our insurance will not pay for anything rrlated to infertility and we don't have the funds... So, it's a waiting game...

 

[Topanga053]

Cary, I HATE, HATE, HATE when insurance companies won't cover infertility related things. I mean, I get that they are "elective", but I think there's a big difference between being tested for infertility and say, getting a nose job! Are there any other "sneaky" ways you could get additional tests? What did they do in July? And thankfully there are still some things you can probably rule out from home. Temping would probably tell you if you had a serious progesterone/ovulation issue (my mom had annovulatory cycles frequently and figured that out because most months she didn't get a temp hike). And our sperm analysis was actually relatively cheap, even without using insurance (about $100), so that might be something you can pursue out of pocket.

Thanks Left and Starry! I really still can't tell if she's dropped at all (my MIL doesn't think so). Anyway, I appreciate the reassurance!!

Also, my nurse just called and said my 3 hour GD test results were normal, so I do not have GD. Life lesson? Eating ice cream and pie shortly before first test is SOOOOOO not worth it, not matter how badly you're craving it. That 3 hour test is AWFUL!!!

 

[rayraykay]

Hi everyone-

I also think it's total crap insurance doesn't cover fertility related health care. If they cover pregnancy things... I would hope that it would fall under that umbrella. It seems silly.

I am so sorry about passing your anniversary without a BFP Cary. I can't imagine how hard that is... but I admire your strength to continue to work with others' children...I also do that for a living and I absolutely couldn't stand it after my loss. I would cry on the way to work, in the bathroom at work, on the way home... etc. Once again, you amaze me. I am pulling for you and sending you every bit of hope I have for you that you will get your rainbow.

Starry- 15 weeks 4 days! Yeehaw!!! That is so wonderful. I remember feeling some relief once I got after 14 weeks. I hope you're feeling well.

Topanga & Left... my baby also moved around a lot. She would get lower, then get higher, then lower.. she is a mover. It's totally normal unless you start feeling other signs of prelabor Topanga... It is early to "drop" persay but I don't think it necessarily means the babe will come early. I'm glad you don't have GD Topanga, but I can honestly say it's not that bad. I actually appreciate it for keeping me on track weight gain wise.

Red- I love Piper! So cute!

AFM- It's a total waiting game now! I have a membrane sweep at 39+2 on Thursday... Hoping that will get things moving along and maybe she will come this weekend. That would be amazing. We will see!

 

[Starry Night]

Another graduates baby is coming so soon! That's so exciting. I hope the membrane sweep gets things going.

I know in the days leading up to my son's birth my belly suddenly felt so heavy like I had to put my hands underneath it to help support the weight. It almost felt like my stomach couldn't do it on its own anymore.

Cary - I keep thinking about you and asking God to give you a baby. I know I wish I could wave a wand and make it happen right now.

afm - a week until my next appointment. I keep telling myself that once I hear the heart beat again I will be truly relaxed. Right now DH just rolls his eyes and says, "Yeah right!" He knows me too well. I've also been dealing with a yeast infection. I used a 3 day treatment cream but now I"m wishing I went with the 7 day. I think it would have been less of a shock and maybe more effective overall. My last day's treatment still made me sting and itch like crazy. Just one more thing to talk to the OB about. She's going to hate me by the end of all this.

 

[rayraykay]

I definitely have that heavy feeling. It's insane. I feel like she's gonna drop out. I did a loooot of cleaning today & walking around so... I am hoping that helped!

I hear ya Starry. I kept wondering when I would stop worrying. I still haven't stopped. Now I just am hoping she's gonna come out safely and be healthy and alive. I don't think I will be truly satisified until she's in my arms with a clear bill of health.

Then all the worrying about her outside of the womb starts.... which at this point, I AM SO READY FOR! It will be a relief!!!

 

[Left wonderin]

Ray your sooooo near now I can't believe it .,how exciting ))) We definetly need a final bump picture !!!!!! Right better get going I'm late for work again !!!!!

 

[Starry Night]

Oooh, Ray, it really sounds like you're getting close. And I agree that worrying about a living baby is a welcome change after worrying over our pregnancies. It feels like we have more control over that. We make sure the baby is fed, cleaned, sleeping well and if it gets sick we can take it to the doctor. During pregnancy it all feels so helpless.

afm - had another nightmare about losing the baby last night. I just felt so crushed by the unfairness of it all. I really hope these dreams are just a manifestation of my fears. I just want to relax and enjoy being pregnant. I think I'm also nervous because last night I was signing Christmas cards and the photo cards I ordered are signed with "and May Baby" at the end. It is all so official. Last year I had to blot out the "May Baby" on the cards and I guess I'm scared I'll have to do it again.

 

[rayraykay]

Starry- I am so sorry about the dreams. Ugh. Nightmares have also plagued me this whole pregnancy. It never seems to get easier to accept that they are just your fears manifesting in your mind during sleep- but it is. I wish I could say I got over the nightmares and was able to see them for what they are which is just fears coming into play during the night but... it's hard. Try to take solace in the little things. Having another appointment will hopefully help at least for the day. Your nightmare did probably come out of signing cards and being nervous.. but more power to you, it is time to put the news of the pregnancy out there, and maybe having others be happy for you will help you accept that it's happening and you should be happy for you too! (once again, easier said than done, I know.) I strongly, strongly believe there will be no blotting out the May Baby in these cards. May baby is coming for you.


39 weeks today!! I can't believe it. I am starting to get really impatient. Ha ha. I just really, really want to meet her. I have the membrane sweep on Thursday.. and in all honesty I never thought I would ask this but if she doesn't come by her due date (the 17th) I will probably ask to schedule an induction for the weekend of the 20th. I have no reason to believe she is going to be huge, my doctor has told me she's measuring perfectly. I just have this fear that the longer she stays in there the longer I have to mess things up and I can't stand that thought. I have reached my wit's end with all of this, and I am just ready to hold her. So I am hoping my doctor will be willing to schedule an induction for my due date or a few days after on Thursday if she hasn't come by then. We will see.

How is everyone?

 

[Topanga053]

I'm good, absolutely nothing new to report today. But I do have a tiny bit of a rant. I just popped over on the miscarriage boards and one of the newbies had an early threatened miscarriage with lots of bleeding. She had an ultrasound today and they said there was a baby measuring two weeks behind and no HB yet (which would be understandable, given baby's actual measurements). But then they told her that she had miscarried a twin and this baby was healthy. I hope that that's the case, but I have no idea how they could diagnose that with the information she provided and I really have no idea why they would pretty much tell her she's out of the woods with heavy bleeding, a baby measuring two weeks behind (she's at least certain of her LMP), and no HB yet. I guess I'm just frustrated because she's ecstatic that everything is fine, but it seems like there's still some very real cause for concern and it seems like her doctors should be a little more cautious with what they tell her. Some of what I learn about doctors/insurance companies on this board really drives me crazy. It just seems like both of them have such a general lack of understanding what this process (miscarriage, infertility, TTCAL, PAL, etc) is like for women and how what they say and their policies can make the emotional impact that much harder.

Ok, I'm done with my rant and I hope everything turns out really well for that girl and her doctors are right and I'm concerned for no reason.

 

[Left wonderin]

Had doc appointment today , all good , no protein , sugar or blood in urine , bp bang on and have only gained 6kg so far this is great news as I needed to loose a little when I got pg ! doc very happy with me not that I've done anything Mother Nature took care of it and took away my appetite this whole pregnancy so far today im into single figures 9 weeks to go .... I can't quite believe it still !!!!

 

[Starry Night]

Left, that's terrific! I'm glad things are going so well and that you're already into single digits.

Topanga - I hear you. I'm in Canada so don't deal with the insurance companies but doctors sometimes can be just as insensitive. I even had a doctor at the ER treat me like one of those girls who lies about bleeding just to get a scan. I was horrified and humiliated. I came back 2 days later to be told by another doctor that it was over (which I had figured at this point already). And some of the stories I read here are even worse.

afm - napped too long this afternoon. I've tried drinking water, eating an orange and walking about and doing laundry but still so groggy.

 

[anchor08]

I'm glad everyone is doing well, it's getting so close! Good luck with the sweep Rayray, and I hope your little one will come out before the induction date even if you decide to go that way. Are you feeling ready? What's on your "bucket list" for the next few days?

I'm finally feeling more like myself physically, though there's still so much I can't do. Amazing how important your abdominal muscles are! I have to be careful not to push myself, but I get so impatient, especially since the last 10 weeks of pregnancy were so difficult as well.

But it's so worth it! Evelyn is doing very well and continuing to feed and grow nicely. Her sleep is still random, but she rarely cries except when she's hungry (or she wakes up in the car seat -- car moving is good, sitting still in the seat is bad!). It's hard to get her to sleep without one of us holding her or carrying her in a sling or wrap, but on the other hand it's easy to soothe her -- snuggle or carry her and she relaxes almost immediately! I'll take it.

 

[Starry Night]

anchor - aw, what a sweetie-pie! I love the middle photo. So funny.

I remember hearing it takes about 12 weeks for babies to develop a routine and I found that to be basically true for my son. He wasn't a good napper and it was so frustrating to get him to take naps of any kind. But by 3 months we had some awkward routine consisting of a series of 30 minute naps. It does get better!

And recovering from a c-section does take time. It's major surgery. I remember the nurse warning me that I would start to feel really good around 4 weeks but that it was important to remember to still take it easy as if I pushed myself too soon then I would experience some set-backs. Sure enough, at 4 weeks I felt great and started to do more around the house and after a few days I was in agony. ha ha They say 6 to 8 weeks for a reason, I suppose. And it takes even longer for the inner stitches to completely heal but I don't think it hampers your day to day life unless you're a professional wrestler or something like that.

 

[skyesmom]

oh my god! i'm off for a week and rayray is having a sweep and almost welcoming her rainbow!! second graduates baby almost there!!

and left is into single digits and killing it regarding the physical form!!

and mini-anchor is so so cute! she's perfect!

and starry is just few weeks shy of finding out what she's having!!

and red felt the kicks! so many good news!

and my congrats to you Cary, for being so strong and managing to do your job still despite everything! i admire you so much for your strength. and i feel with you on that - holidays, due dates/mc dates while taking care of other people's children without your bfp.. those are one of the loneliest and hardest times ever. i don't work with children but i often babysit my friend's babies, and while i love them all dearly, i know the empty feeling when you hand them back to their parents and walk home alone without a baby inside of you.
my relationship broke up after my 1st loss so i remember that xmas very well: no baby, no OH, far from my family, single and with several friends just gotten married/pregnant/having babies inviting me to their parties/dinners (meaning only the best). i felt so alone and out of place i thought i would die.

but those times will pass, i think what makes them so hard is that you can recall so sharply where you were the year before and how it felt and all... and no matter if those were those happy "we were pregnant and so innocent" times or those devastating times after the loss... they both are tough to remember and always make me cry no matter how happy and fulfilled i may be.

but hang in there, i am sure we'll get our rainbows soon! i'm with you!

 

[Left wonderin]

Sky what a lovely post xxxxxx and anchor what a sweetheart !!!!!! She is just adorable !!! Seriously !!!

 

[rayraykay]

Cary & Skye... you WILL both get your rainbow. I am sure of it. You are both so strong, you are admirable women and the children you have will be lucky, lucky little rainbows. And you are so right Skye- the hard times do pass but we will always remember the pain and scar that was left in their place. Honestly, I wouldn't want to change my hard times, they've helped shaped the women we are today. I hope all of you feel the same, even tho it can be so hard when you're in the thick of it.

Left- congrats on your wonderful appointment! Single digits! Watch out it goes by soo fast from here on out. Enjoy it!

Anchor- your rainbow is beautiful. SOOOO beautiful. I too have heard it takes about 12 weeks to set up a solid routine with a newborn... but it sounds like you are doing a great job so far! Her sleep will become more regular Take it easy girlfriend!!!! A C-section IS major surgery... you've gotta be easy on yourself. Before you know it you'll feel like yourself again.

I am soooooo ready. SO ready!! I am enjoying my last week of feeling her move around inside me.. I have some signs of her coming soon. I am definitely hoping the sweep will help things move along. It's tomorrow at 10am! I can't wait. I am bouncing on my yoga ball right now (and having some cramps...!) I have decided to schedule an induction date tomorrow however, the official due date is the 17th- I am hoping she will schedule an induction for next week if she doesn't come on her own before then. I have an irrational fear that she will be huge if I go over my due date. My doctor has told me nothing but that she is a great size (from what she can tell) but I'm terrified she will be huge. I am just ready to stop stressing about everything and stress about her outside of the womb! Ha ha! After I post this I will post my final bump photos for y'all unless I go to 40 weeks! Come onnn Sloane!

I also wanted to take a second to genuinely thank every one of you for the outpouring of love and support you have each given me every step of this journey. I can't thank you enough, from the bottom of my heart. I care about each and every one of you so much. Thank you for sharing in my ups and downs. I am forever grateful I have met every one of you, even if it's online. I wish we could all go get coffee or something sometime! xoxoxo hope everyone is having a nice day!

 

[rayraykay]

There we go! 39+1!

 

[rayraykay]

Dangit! It's sideways! Sorry!