On the road again graduates

[skyesmom]

It has flown by indeed!!

As for us and TTC, so far i was the one who always brought the subject up, OH was the one who needed some encouragement and got cold feet a couple of times. yet strangely this time after our friends broke the news of expecting, especially the second friend, who is actually his close friend, it somehow hit him more than usual. Almost more than it hit me.

We're already late for this cycle but maybe the end of next month or december could be good. what made me really happy is that OH is warming up to the idea again on his own, without me needing to bring the subject up and that is a huge relief!

 

[Topanga053]

Oh Skye, that's great!!! So heartwarming that he's thinking about it on his own. My DH never did. I had to drag him kicking and screaming with Lauren. Which is ironic, because he is COMPLETELY obsessed with her and he was actually the one who first brought up the idea of #2. Lol now he thanks me profusely for "forcing" him to have LAUREN because he can't imagine life without her.

So if your OH is getting excited already, I can only imagine how amazing he's going to be when your time finally comes!!! I really hope it's soon for you. You and Cary both deserve it so much. I still think sometimes about how unfair this journey can be. And you girls are both so strong and wonderful for how you've handled it all. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating- you ladies are both MUCH stronger than me and I really, really admire you.

 

[skyesmom]

oh girls! it's raining babies around me.

last week we had two announcements, well this week we had another FIVE and they are ALL due in April.

i don't feel devastated (i am sure i would have felt like that a year ago), but what the heck. this is just plain insane.

 

[Topanga053]

I'm glad you're not devastated, Skye, but I'm sure it's not easy. Take care of yourself, hun.

 

[Topanga053]

It's been quiet here, ladies!!

Skye- how are you doing? Still ok after all of those announcements last month? Have you started TTC yet? How's the new place treating you guys? Still liking it??

Left- how are you feeling??

Afm, just over 34 weeks. Been cramping and having lots of discharge, so asked OB to check my cervix yesterday. Baby is head down and I'm 1.5-2cm dilated. I stayed 3cm dilated for weeks with LO, so I know it doesn't mean #2 is coming soon, but still... crazy!! What a wake up call. Starting to think of packing our hospital bags this weekend, just in case. Hopefully baby can wait at least a couple of weeks. For now, no restrictions or anything-- just wait and see.

In the meantime, I have a terrible cold and LO has been waking up screaming a lot the last several nights, so I'm pretty miserable!! Took some time off of work to try to recover, but it didn't help much and tonight I came down with pink eye on top of everything else. Agh!! I'm more than ready to at least be healthy again!!!! But better now than when baby #2 is here!!

Miss everyone!!

 

[skyesmom]

OMG 34 weeks!! WOW!

i can't believe how quickly it went by! I hope you get well asap so that these last weeks of pregnancy are less tough on you! a bug, plus 3rd tri plus a LO, no wonder you feel down... not even Superman would pull that one off with ease.

...afm: we're solving some minor issues with the flat still but it is finally coming to an end, honestly i can't wait for this to be over. I think i'll be able to fully relax and feel at home only when this thing is done. I think we'll give a go to TTC once this is settled!

I survived to the boom of baby announcements; my angels due date went by too (this year no one remembered... :/ ) and my SIL delivered just one day past my EDD - it all went well with them, luckily! She was due around this time and i dreaded it for ages but when it finally happened it actually made the whole thing easier for me - after our losses and all this waiting, i cherish any child born to my family and friends like the greatest gift ever.

OH and SIL were very sweet, she is the most considerate person in my surroundings and she really takes care not to step onto my wounds - despite being really drained and tired from the birth and no sleep and all, she never says one word of complaint in front of us.

so this is more or less it. my next fertile window is in december, if it is all clear with the flat then we might just as well use it!

hugs to all of your girls! Left, Starry, Carey... any news? xxx

 

[skyesmom]

Ladies! i though of you the last couple of days so so much!

i thought i'd have a big xmas surprise for you to share but i don't. we spent the last week on tiptoes, AF was five days late (very very unusual for me) with a spot or two of blood here and there, but only sometimes when i wipe. I had no pregnancy symptoms i had the other times when i was pregnant, other than swollen boobs but that happen sometimes with the af too. I didn't feel pregnant at all but after 5 days like this we were ready to test, as it was getting way too long... to discover that we had no HPTs left at home on sunday night!!!

Both OH and I were shocked :doh: he was like:"YOU have no sticks?? how can that be possible???" we had to laugh our asses off to that one! so we couldn't test and he then said something very beautiful, and that is: "we'll celebrate tomorrow when we test." and i asked what if it's negative, and he said "we'll celebrate us anyway"...

...in the end AF hit me this morning, which confirmed my feelings (and saved us the testing and a BFN delusion - that's the main reason why i kept myself away from testing for 5 days), but it is ok - we are in a very beautiful phase of our relationship now, and it is good just the way it is.

wanted to share this pre-xmas rush of ours - i hope you are all doing well and would love to hear your updates.

Left, if i remember well your angels anniversary is around these days? I am sending you a huge hug

 

[Left wonderin]

Skye I'm sorry you didn't get your Christmas suprise , your oh sounds just amazing !!!

You are so thoughtful .. Tommrow is the day we found out our LO was no longer with us . 3 years ago can't quite believe how time has gone by . We always place a special glass heart for them on our Christmas tree on the day . They are in my heart and mind xxx

 

[skyesmom]

that is such a beautiful way to remember they are always with us, our angels

how is your rainbow pregnancy going?

 

[Topanga053]

Skye- so sorry about the delayed AF. I had a couple of those when we were TTCAL. They're just cruel. I hope your holidays are still joyful and this doesn't put too much of a damper on them.

Left- for the anniversary and hope you're handling it well. How's the pregnancy going? I forget - do you know the sex??

Afm, 39+2 today. Craziness. This is further than I was with LO, since I got induced with her at 29+6 and had her at 39 weeks exactly. Everything is going well this time, no sign of pre-e, so just waiting for labor to start on its own. Can't stand the suspense! I was 3.5-4cm dilated at my apt on Monday and had some very mild contractions on Tuesday, but nothing since. Little boy is apparently quite happy where he is!!

How is everyone else??

Happy Holidays to everyone!!

 

[skyesmom]

OMG Topanga!!!!!! 39+2 !!!! eeeeek!!!! it has flooowwwwn by!!! can't believe anotehr rainbow is due any moment on this thread!!!

all is good here, I think what makes it all ok for me somehow, is the fact that my OH is very enthusiastic about the idea, the "cold feet" days are gone and i don' have to bring the baby talk up again single-sidedly anymore - which is a HUGE relief!

plus SIL delivered in the meantime, and he just loves to play with the new baby, he wasn't this confident around babies before and it all kind of closed a huge wound in my heart.. as for a long while i felt i was the one who was longing more for a baby, and for some time i also felt i was the only one to long and wish for a baby (when OH had cold feet phases).

this alone is a huge gift, and who knows, maybe our rainbow was waiting for this kind of change to come.

Merry Christmas to all of you girls!

 

[Left wonderin]

Skye that IS a huge change and so so significant . I've been on both ends and it makes such a huge difference it didn't happen for us when oh had cold feet and was unsure ... But I do believe those little spermy CAN tell when their fully on board! Won't be long now

 

[skyesmom]

But I do believe those little spermy CAN tell when their fully on board! Won't be long now

i also think so! sounds weird but i think it really does make a difference!

 

[Carybear]

Merry Christmas everyone. This has been a tough one for me. My EDD was New Years Eve... Praying for healthy rainbows to be born.

 

[skyesmom]

Cary... I'm sending you a huge huge huge huge hug i hope and pray that this new year brings us our rainbows finally... you and your OH and your angels are in my thoughts

 

[Carybear]

Thanks Skye... How are you?

I've been extremely busy and did really great with everything until we got to the holidays. I got a card from a friend whose daughter had a miscarriage right before me. Her daughter got pregnant right away and is now due at the end of January. Here I sit 8 months later and no pregnancy. Just gets so frustrating.

My husband and I went to an orientation for fostering/adopting. I think we are going to pursue it.

Other than that... nothing else going on...

Happy New year to everyone

 

[skyesmom]

Cary I admire your strength so much. I don't know how I'd manage to deal with a mc after all this time of waiting to get pregnant again.

i also do much better in the busy days, when there's lots to do and keep your mind busy; also going off the TTC/NTNP officially for some months helped us cope, at least OH lost the cold feet feeling about it during the break, which is priceless (we stopped because we moved to a new place as I couldn't cope with the thought of getting pregnant while moving/renovating, as i had both my losses during house move/renovation).

but holidays and EDD/mc anniversaries also bring the blues back to me. it gets easier with every year that goes by, but it's also because we haven't had any recent loss (nor success). i cope well for the most of the time, and then get hit by a tremendous hormonal baby blues for a week or so, and then it somehow goes away.

on holidays and in times when a bunch of friends got pregnant at the same time (we had FIVE pregnancy announcements in late october, followed by another THREE two weeks later), it's loads of mixed feelings for me now - partially a tremendous longing for a baby, and partially also the thought of how the f**k do we fit a baby into a life that finally works really well without one (and was forced to start working well without a child, as there was no other way out of it after a loss for us).

i think that ultimately, being able to live our lives and enjoy them without a child is gonna make us healthier parents one day in the future, as i'm definitely more stable and balanced than in the first year and a half-two since the loss. I think had i gotten pregnant immediately after, i would have become one of those obsessive moms that spoil their kids on one hand, and suffocate them on the other, and that's not who i want to be.

i don't know if this makes any sense, i just wanted to let you know how things are wavering here too.

I'm sending you a huge huge hug

 

[Topanga053]

Cary- I'm so sorry that the holidays have been difficult for you. I know your EDD was today; you've been in my thoughts and prayers. It is so unfair.

How did the orientation go? Although I'm sure it's not your first choice, are you guys excited about the process? What's the next step for you? Are you going to continue TTC in the meantime?

Afm, 40+1 today, so officially overdue. I had an apt this morning. I'm 4cm dilated, 90% effaced, and baby is RIGHT THERE, but no sign of active labor. Doctor did a membrane sweep and I've had some cramping since. I guess if the sweep will work it will work within 48 hours, so we'll see what the next day or two brings. If I don't go into labor this weekend, I have an ultrasound on Monday to check on baby. Doctor said I could also ask to be induced at this point and since im so far progressed, she doesn't think I would need meds this time... they would just break my water. I might choose to do that early next week if he hasn't come on his own before then.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[Left wonderin]

Cary thinking of you today .

 

[skyesmom]

thinking of you both Cary and Topanga today

ps. Topanga, sounds like you're in for a fast birth there, once it starts.