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Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by RedWylder, May 9, 2013.
She's beautiful Left!
I've just caught up on the posts. So glad it seems like everyone is doing well!
Left, your little girl is beautiful!!! Congrats, hun! How is everyone adjusting so far? Is she letting you get any sleep?
Cary, I'm so sorry that DH isn't ready to move forward with fostering/adoption. You sound like you're fairly ok with it, and I hope that's the case. I would have found it painful, I think, so I hope you're going ok. I think about you a lot.
Afm, Brady is 3 months old today (crazy!!!). I know it's been awhile since I've posted. He is the most beautiful baby boy and I am absolutely, head over heels in love with him. It was an insanely quick labor and no time for meds for me either. He was 10lb 0z at birth. OUUUCH!!
He was born with an incredibly rare problem with his corneas (the clear coating over your eyes), so his corneas are white. As a result, he was born blind. We're certain he can sense light, but the experts don't think he can see much, if anything, more than that because of the severity of the damage. We've been all over the place, meeting with several experts, and we're hoping to do a surgery in a couple of weeks that will hopefully give him some useful vision. It's been a lot to take in, but we're glad we have a plan of action. Please keep my little boy in your prayers, ladies!
Babies born with similar issues sometimes have other problems, such as heart or kidney issues. They did some extra tests on Brady at the hospital, and everything was perfect. He's had some extra appointments, including with a geneticist, and so far everything is fine. He's a HUGE baby and healthy and growing SO quickly! At 2.5 months, he was weighing in at 14 pounds. He is VERY close to growing out of his infant car seat!!
He's also just started smiling a lot in the last couple of weeks. He is the HAPPIEST baby! He almost never cries/fusses and LOVES it when we play with him. He just lets out the biggest smiles/coos when we start playing with him and he bats at his toys on his play mat a lot. It's so encouraging, since we didn't know what to expect, since he doesn't have any vision right now.
Lauren is absolutely in love with him. She has nicknamed him "Tiny" (NOT what I said in the delivery room!!!!!!) and that's the only thing she calls him. She absolutely adores him, and tries to share all of her toys and food with him. When he cries, she'll say, "Tiny hungry! Tiny baby bottle!" and run to the fridge, get a bottle, put it down next to him, and say, "Tiny, bottle!!" It's seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen.
Anyway, that's about all of the news here, except that I am already terribly broody for another one, although DH wants to get a vasectomy.
Miss you all!
Oh, I forgot to send a picture!
Here's Brady on Easter:
Oh Topanga Brady is absolutly adorable and that hair !!!!! He sounds like the sweetest baby I'm sure that hearing of Brady,s condition was a huge shock for you and oh I'm sure it hasn't been easy .i hope Brady,s scheduled surgery goes well . You will all be in my prayers . Please keep us updated . I only ever knew one person with vision problems , a Friend of mine growing up as a teenager . It never stopped him doing anything in fact as far as I recall he was the one leading us all astray !!!
Anna was tiny and still is but feeding well , not quite sure where she puts it . Sean DOES not like his sister one bit ! He is having a hard time adjusting , we have had MAJOR meltdowns and he is very angry alot of the time right now . Not quite sure where my sweet little boy has gone I've been in tears trying to manage his behaviour whilst understanding how he is feeling . Why doesn't parenting come with a manual ... I'm sure it will get better .......
I too am feeling broody already !!!!! Crazy I know !!! But this is definitely it for me . I'm wayyyy to old now and OH has said the shop is closed !
Oh ladies! Those babes are just perfect. Prayers for Brady and for Sean (hehe- he'll adjust eventually). Glad you both have healthy growing little ones.
Topanga love! Brady is absolutely gorgeous!! And omg hat down one more time for that 10 lb baby without any pain relief!
these must have been a few really intense months for you and your family. i am so glad to hear Brady is thriving, regardless of his scary diagnosis. It is a true blessing that all other tests including the meeting with the geneticist went great.
While reading your post, an interview with a mom who's son has been diagnosed with Downs syndrome post birth came into my mind, for one very important thing she's said: I learned to focus on what my son can do, rather on the things he can't.
With all that love surrounding him, i am sure Brady can reach anything he sets his heart to.
My maths professor at the university was blind from birth on. he's a genius in his field, has published several books that are used in unis across europe, he held his lessons completely autonomously, came to work by bus and joked that his only problem of not knowing if he's wearing a matching tie was solved when his smartphone became able to scan a color and tell him which one it was. he was also married with children who could see normally and did not inherit his condition.
he also said that what made him understand mathematics and its laws was the fact that he was unable to see the world with his eyes like other people do - so some things that appeared abstract to us, like a point having no dimension at all, but a whole plain comprised of those points has a dimension - to him were so obvious and easy to imagine. his entire imagination is completely different from ours, and i found it incredibly fascinating.
i remember the entire class being somewhat puzzled at the idea that two tangent spheres touch each other over one point only - as when we imagine or draw two balls touching, we see with our physical eyes how this happens over an entire area. and he just laughed and said sth like "of course they touch over one point only, it is the whole point of being round in the first place. this is the essence of being round." and there i understood how round meant something completely different to me and to him, just because of how we perceived it.
sorry for the novel! this is the only closer experience with a person with vision difficulties that i have, and i wanted to share it with you
i find it so cute how Lauren finds him TINY!! that's super super sweet!
Left, I am sorry to hear that Sean has difficulties adjusting. Most of my friends are now having their seconds, and what i notice is generally that big sisters accept their newborn siblings much easier than boys do. I don't know if it is due to the maternal instinct that kicks in automatically (and that's been also developed by playing with baby dolls) or what, but that seems to be an overall tendency in my circle of friends. What helped cure the jealousy in some cases was making a BIG present from the newborn baby to their older brother (anything from a huge dump truck to a dinosaur), and really make it clear that their baby brother/sister brought it to them just for them to play with because they love them.
As for me, I'm doing well although slightly overworked. But the summer is coming and it will be easier OH and i haven't been actively trying, but i take comfort in knowing that he is 100% on the same page as me and the cold feet days are gone for good. He's never been so calm about this up until the few past months, there is really some change going on there. I don't know if it is because many people from his circle of friends are expecting their first kids or just the age or the moment or what, but he is different about it compared to a year or two years back. we are amidst a general baby boom - we have 10 babies being born in may to close friends and relatives - of which a miracle one by a dear friend of mine with pcos and one ovary only who was told she will never conceive on her own, but it happened within the first year of trying.
i've changed, too. I remember how four or two years ago nothing that i did filled me up really, regardless of the fact that i'm doing my dream job, have the man of my life, have great friends around me, so many things to be grateful for... but as much as i tried, i was unable to really feel any real profound gratitude at all, due to the loss of my baby. this last thing with the gratitude was there intensely for the first 12-16 months after the loss. during that first year and a bit more, nothing else mattered really. and for a long time after that, life just didn't taste the same.
Now i'm at a point where i really do enjoy things, and where i don't think about having a baby 24/7, entire days and sometimes weeks pass without the thought, which i find shocking sometimes. i even find myself thinking "how am i going to fit a kid into this work schedule???" and THIS never happened over the past years.
Cary, do you have these phases too?
huge hugs to all of you girls, let's keep posted i have missed you
Well ladies...two pink lines. DD just turned 2 so we decided to NTNP. And today 2 pink lines popped up. Commence all the typical fears of miscarriage, fears of having a baby, etc. I harrassed my midwife into ordering betas which came in at 25. Roughly 8-9 dpo today so I think that's good. Gosh 3 years since I've felt this particular flutter in my chest.
Red I'm so delighted to read your news how exciting . Congratulations please keep us updated regularly or if you start a journal let me know . Would love to follow along on your journey to number 2
Topanga how is your LO ? Getting big I'm sure !!!
How is everyone else doing . Anna has turned 2 months and getting bigger every day . Can't believe how quickly everything goes with no 2 ... Time just flies from pregnancy .
Being a mum of two is busy !! Thank god I'm not back to work till December
Oh this is a pic of Sean and Anna
REEEEDDDDD!!!! omg omg omg!! CONGRATS ON THE BFP!!! That is so so SO great to hear! I hope we can be bump buddies at least at some point during this year
those are great news looks like the nr2s are way easier to conceive than the nr1s! (now i'm gonna end up with twins because of saying this.)
i think a beta of 25 at only 8-9 dpo is very good, having a positive HPT that early is definitely promising! i send you my best vibes for a sticky bean
LEFT - geez Anna grew so so SO quickly! And she looks SO MUCH like her older brother (can't believe how much Sean grew, too. time just flies by indeed). Also a full head of hair! Lots of my friends got their babies these days (like, six of them!), and one baby girl has a full blonde head of hair, just like Sloanne - made me think of RayRay immediately - RayRay if you read this - huge greetings from me to you and your family!
No baby news here yet, but the work is doing really really well now, and that makes me happy. OH is fully on board, too.
Red, if i'm not wrong, you should be due somewhere mid/late january? it would be great if we could share at least the last 2-3 months of this journey as bump buddies on this thread
hugs to all of you girls!
Skye that would be wonderful! I'm still not quite convinced I have a sticky bean here. But we shall see. Lines are darker today so that's good.
Just a quick update- betas are looking good. They were 25 on Friday and 231 yesterday (monday). So they're more than doubling in 48 hours. In my miscarriages, that did not happen so I hope that mean good things. Fingers crossed!
those are great news Red! from 25 to over 200 in such short time sounds grand i'm sending my prayers for a sweet sticky bean!
Congrats Red... Praying it's a sticky bean...
Just passed one year since the miscarriage. DH has decided he wants to be proactive, but now I don't want any part of it. The last two periods I have had have been weird and I'm not sure what to think about it. April's was not quite two days. May's was two days and then this orangey/pink spotting for like 4 days. Not even enough to bother much with a pad.
Anyway... Just me venting and wanting to scream!!!! I am with kids 6 days a week. I am surrounded by teachers who are forever getting pregnant with number 2, 3, and 4 and then there's me...
Most of the time I am ok, but I think it is the whole 1 year thing. It's just getting to me.
Thanks for hearing me out...
Cary don't give up! Especially if the hubby is on board for more proactive measures. Although I completely understand where you're at. And if you can't find it in you, that's ok. It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling.
Cary sorry for writing back only now you are in my thoughts.
the anniversaries hit extra hard i find, i think our bodies even somehow remember and play tricks on us. i remember my first mc anniversay, and the weeks after, my hormones and my body were all over the place and i remember even starting my period 8-10 days earlier than usual, but exactly on the day of my first post-DC period the year before.
it is good to hear that DH is proactive though.. and maybe in a bit you will be able to feel the same.
these last few months were really busy for me, and i found myself thinking how could i ever fit a baby into such schedule, and then remembered how my schedule wasn't much easier four years ago yet i didn't give a damn about it once i got pregnant.. and i didn't give a damn about it in comparison to having a living child, for about two years after the loss almost.
and now when i catch myself with thoughts like "i can't have a baby now, i need to finish this and this and this" it feels so so SO strange sometimes, as if it belongs to someone else not me. and then when the grief would hit out of nowhere again, i even felt guilty for not wanting a baby at all costs all the time.
such a strange journey it is, indeed...
Thanks everyone. I'm back to temping again. Hubby is definitely on board.
I guess we will wait and see. According to temps I ovulated Sunday. We bd on Saturday and Sunday. So we shall see.
Red how are you???
Skye how's it going???
Left, topanga , how are the two kiddos?
I had a dream that two friends were announcing their pregnancies and didn't want to make a big deal. I encouraged them to have a big party and told them not to worry about me. It was like I knew my time was coming in the dream. Like I was pregnant but just couldn't tell anyone yet.
Cary that is such a lovely dream, i really hope it is one of those dreams that turn to be premonitions! keeping my fingers crossed for you! good to hear that the OH is on board! awww roll on prego summer
Hi everyone Cary so good to hear oh is ready to go !!! Understandable your feeling less enthusiastic after all you have been through but delighted your temping again . Please come post regularly ! I'd love to keep you company
Red hi how far along are you now ? Hope your keeping well
Skye where are things at for you right now ntnp ? Or ttc ?
Topanga hope your LO's are doing great if they are anything like mine they are keeping you on your toes !!!
AFM : adjusting to being a mum to two !! Its a new adventure for sure lol... Busy busy but not taking a second of it for granted . Anna is now 14 weeks !!!! Time flies by