On the verge of breaking up :( long!!

[sophie22]

Everyone else thank you. I couldn't get an appointment at citizens advice yesterday, so going Monday. I've been told there is no council housing available in my area at the moment, they don't even have any emergency housing. I spoke to both my council and shelter. They have told me once baby is here, I could get £394 a month towards rent, so might be able to find a small 1 bed place if I'm lucky. Not sure what to do until then though. We have two rooms here, so if the worst comes to it, I can move into the spare room permanently for a few months, before moving out when baby arrives. Obviously just going to be rather awkward and uncomfortable. Baby hasn't been as wriggly as normal, but I'm at the midwife Tuesday, then got another growth scan the week after. Fingers crossed everything's ok. I know first hand how bad continued stress can be for a baby tomorrow's going to be pretty bad as its his day off, so we'll be together in the house for the whole day. Thank you for all the support from everyone. Means a lot xx

What's the situation with your mums? Does she not have room at all? X

 

[jenniferttc1]

I was in trimesters with you last time, honestly I thought he was an ass then, and he's proven himself to still be an ass. IMO, it seems as he KNOWS you don't have anywhere st all yo go, and he knows he can do this and get away with it. I'm not sure what I can say to help but to give you and I'm again so sorry about your son

 

[_Lexi_]

My mum hasn't got any room. They've got 1 spare room, and my step sister moved in last week. The house is pretty full. She also lives over an hour away, and I don't drive, so it would make midwife and hospital appointments quite awkward.

He was an ass last time. After losing Joshua he completely changed. He was a different person. This past year he really has been amazing and so supportive. Our relationship has been perfect to be honest, as good as life could ever be without Joshua here. I don't know why all of a sudden he's letting her cause problems again and doing whatever she asks. It's just so out the blue after how he's been. x

 

[charleybootS]

Hmmmm, well I think once someone lies to you they know they are doing something they shouldn't, if not they wouldn't have to lie about it.

You have to weigh it up. Are you going to be able to trust him now? TBH i'd go nuts if i'd found out my OH had bought an ex something for £80 for no apparent reason, seems a bit odd to me. I'd be asking more questions....

The Council have a duty to rehouse you if you are homeless, them saying they have no houses is a load of rubbish. Yes the list is long but you are pregnant with nowhere to go so you immediately get top priority. Get your name on that list even if you have no intention of leaving him at least your name is down.

Someone I know, willingly left her husband with whom she owned a house (so technically made herself homeless) went and lived with a family member who had loads of room and she was rehoused within a couple of months. I have no idea how she managed it!

 

[lauren1991]

Firstly, if yous split u will get £140 every fortnight instead of JSA u will get income support along with £20.30 a week child benefit as well as £66 a week child tax credit, also £3.10 milk tokens per week.
U won't get all of tht until ur baby's born tho. U will move on to income support at 29 weeks and also at 29 weeks u can apply for a £500 maternity grant that helps towards baby stuff. But u could use it to help urself out.

As for the council they have to give u something if u say ur homeless. Or say ur living between friends they cannot take 3 years to give u something!

My friend gets all this money as she's a single parent. I get no money at all because I'm in a relationship, all we get is working tax credit but she brags about all this money continuously.

Personally I wouldn't put up with the lying.

Good luck x

 

[_Lexi_]

I can't get the £500 maternity grant as its not my first baby. I had it last year with Joshua. I have been on the list since my last pregnancy. So about 18 months. They know I'm pregnant again, but have said there are no houses. The housing situation round here really is that bad. They won't move me onto income support if we're still living together, because of how much he earns, and they've said my jsa will end soon as they won't see me fit for apying for work. I can't claim maternity allowance as there's only a few months since I last received it. So basically, from my jsa ending, I'm not entitled to anything until baby is here. Once baby is here and I can get local housing allowance, I should be able to afford to rent somewhere. I hate being unemployed and having to rely on the benefits system. I'm not used to not having my own earnt money. I've tried asking him more questions, but he hasn't had a huge amount to say yet. He has asked if we can sit and talk tonight, so I'll listen to what he has say. Obviously I would rather raise our baby together, but if I can't trust him, I can't stay with him. He said he's scared if losing me and the baby, but perhaps he should of thought of that before buying his ex stuff and going behind my back. We have enough stress with the concerns over the health of the baby and if she'll make it home, without him adding it to it by doing this x

 

[lauren1991]

They can't leave u with nothing at all! Try moving to a different area?

I'd sit down and listen to him. Was it maybe for one of the kids?

Remember he's probably as scared as u with this pregnancy. Maybe its takin its toll? Try maybe a romantic night together and phones switched off!

Id tell him u want to know when ur meeting her and when he's speaking to her x

 

[mandaxx]

Oh hun, is there no one who would let ou stay with them in your time of need? He sounds like an absolute *******, please don't just talk to him, tell him where to go. He should not be having any contact with his ex other than to ask about his kids, and if he can pay so much for them he shouldn't be buying consoles. He's using you and treating you like a fool, and how bloody dare he! He doesn't deserve you one bit! I've had experience with a loser in the pat nod I just up and left and never went back. Never regretted it either. I really hope you get sorted, but believe me, he won't change. Leave I'm, you can do better! xx

 

[Ripley]

Oh in assumed what he bought was for the kids. Yeah that's not cool.