One and Done?

[babypeanut25]

I want 2. I was an only child till i was 9 and really feel like i was missing something as a child. Then by the time my sisters came (9 and 12 yoa) i was so much older i was almost annoyed they were there! lol...i love my sisters to the ends of the earth but i dont have the type of relationship my hubby does with his brother and sister whom are 4 years and 21 months older then him.

 

[petitefeet]

I'm totally one and done. I know plenty of only children who are well adjusted, not spoilt and very happy. I beleive there's nothing wrong with wanting/having one!

 

[Rosered52]

I'm a happy, well-adjusted only child. I wanted a little brother or sister until I was around 11, when it dawned on me that being the only child wasn't such a bad gig. People are always surprised to find out I'm an only—I think they expect us to be monsters. Truly, I think parents of only children just have to be careful not to overindulge their kids and to socialize them early and often. But isn't that true of all parents? Don't be afraid of having only children, we aren't so bad.

 

[kuriazuri]

I definitely have been debating on this being our only child. I am at that perfect point in my life just like you at 27 with my OH being 30 that I have the next 2 years while finishing my masters degree and working part time to really give my baby that one on one attention that she deserves. I don't think I'll ever have this time again once I start my career. Also, we got our girl, and OH really wanted a girl and he is an only child so no issue there. I don't want to be having children after 30. The advantages are really stacking up. Plus, I am so over this pregnancy thing and getting your body back, and the energy you can have for one just makes it seem so feasible, not to mention the affordability. I am going to get an IUD after she's born and if in 5 years we don't have another OH is going to get the snip snip.

 

[ashiozz]

I am considering just one. I always have said I only want one. My husband has always wanted two, but we're both considering one now that he's almost here. We have a large age gap so he's becoming a daddy for the first time at the age of 35 -- I am 24.

We both have decided that we want our kids far apart in age, so in 4-5 yrs we will revisit the idea of another, I almost want to wait and see if this one WANTS a sibling..

 

[EveEnRoute]

I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me, and always wanted 2 kids close in age. My husband is an only child, not spoiled or bratty lol, though he does get a lot from his parents, and so do I now, as his mum likes having a girl to buy things for! I do see the benefits of him being an only child, he has a great relationship with his parents, and they are almost more like friends than parents sometimes. He wants more than one kid though, as he sees the benefit of me having my brother and my niece and nephew, and wants to make sure our kid isn't lonely. It also helps that we're expecting a girl, and although he's over the moon about "his little princess", he's admitted he'd like a son too.

 

[Kellyx]

I would never just have one. I feel that if I did, the one child would grow up lonely. We only want 2 kids. I think thats enough for us! Kids are hard work!

 

[libbylou]

Ideally I do want two, but there are two major reasons we are considering only having one:
-finances - I feel we could provide a much better life for our child if there was only one to consider. DH and I aren't high earners and I would like to work only part time or not at all (would take in a couple of kids for child care and stay home) and we live in a costly city.
-We might not be able to have a second. DH is a cancer survivor and it took us 3 1/2 years of trying to conceive this child. If we are unable to naturally conceive another then we will be happy that we had our one little miracle. We can't justify the huge expensive of pursuing fertility treatment for a 2nd child.

I would however love to give our daughter a sibling who is close to her age, within 2-3 years. I know that for a child to have a sibling is basically a built in playmate and hopefully they will have a great relationship all their lives.

 

[okmomma]

I can totally understand your reasons. When we decided to try for #2, I had to be a SAHM. If I worked, almost all of my income would have gone to daycare.

My brother is 20 months older than me and we never got along and barely ever played with each other. Now we are late 30's and don't talk and only see each other if we absolutly have to. I did go to his wedding and he only said one sentence to me. You never know if your kids will get along or not. My parents wanted us to get along, but it just wouldn't happen.

 

[esst]

Yes. Financially having more than one child is irresponsible for us to do not to mention that we don't have the room. Housing costs are very high here and our only option to get anything bigger is to buy a house, which we will need to save for. If we had a bigger place, I might consider it, but I don't think that a child needs to have siblings in order to function socially. I am planning on having an IUD put in after the baby comes in order to prevent pregnancy. I may change my mind later on, but if I don't, DH is more than fine with getting the snip.

 

[CaliGinger]

We are only having one. We know that we can better care for one child, and a child isn't automatically spoiled because they're the only one. We also have a very very close relationship with our 3 year old nephew so our child wont lack for an 'older sibling.' I have one sibling and my OH has three and there are pros and cons for all situations. I am going to get an iud after the birth and then after 5 years if we haven't changed our minds my OH will get a vasectomy.

 

[Jennifurball]

I have said I only want 1. OH said no he wants 2 but to be honest, I don't think I would want to go through all this again, the pregnancy worries that baby is ok, the financial worry etc, having to deal with 2 children when out shopping etc, the screaming tantrums, arguing etc. I am finding it all a lot of emotional upheaval as it is, I don't think I could go through this again with a toddler/child in tow.

So yeah, 1 for me. Scarlett is going to be very close to my nephew anyway, we live down the road from each other and have already planned days out with them etc when she is old enough to understand. I don't think it is like it used to be, I think it is more acceptable to stop at 1 these days.

 

[ashiozz]

I can totally understand your reasons. When we decided to try for #2, I had to be a SAHM. If I worked, almost all of my income would have gone to daycare.

My brother is 20 months older than me and we never got along and barely ever played with each other. Now we are late 30's and don't talk and only see each other if we absolutly have to. I did go to his wedding and he only said one sentence to me. You never know if your kids will get along or not. My parents wanted us to get along, but it just wouldn't happen.

this is why I want mine spread out further. I find they get along better and there's less competition. I was 4 (almost exactly four) when my brother was born. We have birthdays two days apart, but we were INSEPARABLE. We still talk a lot. We live in different states now, and he's 20, but we always got along with very few real fights =/

 

[okmomma]

There will be 9 years between our kids. It is a little more than we planned on, but that's ok. Our first house was great for me and my husband. Our son took it to the max. Unfortunately it took us 3 years to sell our house, thus baby #2 got delayed. There just wasn't any room. We are finally settled in a bigger house. It just felt right to try for #2. Our son has no social problems from being an only child. He is spoiled by his relatives, but not by us. He has been the only grand child on both sides up until a year ago. He likes being an only child, but is kind of excited about being a big brother. If for some reason we couldn't have #2, all of us would have been fine with only having one. It is a personal decision. Whatever you want and whatever works best for you and your family.

 

[alaskagrown]

Possibly.

If I have another one, it'll have to be within the next 3.5 years otherwise I will have no insurance after that. If I don't have insurance, there's no way I could afford prenatal care and labor/delivery.
Or unless we win the lottery.

 

[Lexigore]

Having one seems to be the norm on my side of the family (not my hubbie's, his family is massive). I was a very happy only child and don't plan to have any more.

 

[Arisa]

hey clovermouse. I agree with you too and now that we know what we are having it makes me more keen to have the one and also like jennifurball said, the pregnancy is so hard especially (sickness aside) with all the concerns of baby's health and growth and the birth and the post-partum period too plus IMO pregnancy seems to take forever seriously I am only half way there :/ Also it would be nice to give our daughter the things we did not have like a choice of school and toys and so on. she will have tons of cousins too

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

I am an only child, my OH is an only child and we are planning on LO being an only child AND only grandchild. I am not doing anything final but I do plan to get a 5 year birth control implant. Additionally being 25 now, I cant see myself having a child in my 30s so it look like this is it!

 

[arj]

One would be easy in some ways but I think hard in others. At the moment my 5 year old and 3 year old are playing and having a ball in the sprinkler, where as as soon as one of them is at school/kindy and the other is at home, I get nagged ALL day to play with and entertain them! I'm loving having the two (never wanted any more but here I am with a third)!

 

[PhotoLC]

I think we will be done after one, but it's not for sure. DH and I are both CF carriers, so we won't know if our little guy will get the disease until he's born. Then do we gamble and have another? Or do something invasive? I don't know. But I am NOT a fan of being pregnant even though this one has been pretty easy. I guess only time will tell. I'd kind of like to have a girl.