one born every minute : MALE 'midwife'

[helen1234]

I needed to be told when to push, despite only having gas and air i couldent feel my contractions, all the pain was constant in my back.

thats what you think because you dont know any diffrent, maybe if they hadnt told you to push and waited untill your body was ready to do it she would have came out easyer, its invoulentry you cant control doing it its not something someone can tell you to do, i pushed when i wanted with both of mine even when they told me not too i just couldnt help it! just because you dont feel your contractions doesnt mean there not doing what there supposed too be doing you should read this book its amazing and it will 100% restore your faith in your body and next time will be just how you want it!

i havnt read the book but i had a perfect labour in that regard. i was never told when to push and i couldnt help when i did one bit. there was no conscious effort on my part of pushing and staining, my body just did it and it was amazing

i had natural with rosie and emergency section with rhys,
the first i knew i needed to push with rosie was when i was actually pushing lol, my body went into action before my brain went into action, i only had gas and air so i was fully switched on (well as much as i could be) if the heads off central or stuck you'll need assistance.
but if they do that push 10 9 8 7 business with me someones gonna get told to stop lol.

 

[Lyndz]

I don't think a male midhubbie would have bothered me to be honest, when i was in labour, next door neighbours rabbit could have delivered Bella as long as she had the medical know how!

 

[lozzy21]

yeah, thats diffrent then isnt it, emergancy situations are but if theres no problems theres no reason why anyone should be told to push their body does it for them! my worst memory of labour is having my mam screaming "push come on zara pusshhh" at me ughhh! no mother this time!!!

edit: what im saying is, if it hadnt been a matter of urgancy that you got her out there and then your body would have pushed her out for you even if you couldnt feel the contactions, she might not have got stuck! it doesnt mean ur doomed to have horrible labours forever x

In hindsight i know why she got stuck but at the time she just needed to be out. It was literaly a case of if babys not out in 10 mins id have needed a section and i think if it came to that they wouldent have been time for an epi, they would have just put me under.

Not needing to be told is all well and fine if your having a textbook labour with no complications, mimimal pain relief and are confidant in your bodys abilitys but how many of us are actualy lucky enough to have a labour like that

 

[lucky3]

me and my daughter debated the male midwife thing and decided we would much rather have him then the patronising ones from the first programme! i thought he was nice

I suppose it's a bit like a male doctor doing your smear...you just need to get your head round it!

 

[Bambi1985]

As long as baby is delivered safely it doesn't really matter if it's by a woman, a man or a goat

 

[aliss]

yeah, thats diffrent then isnt it, emergancy situations are but if theres no problems theres no reason why anyone should be told to push their body does it for them! my worst memory of labour is having my mam screaming "push come on zara pusshhh" at me ughhh! no mother this time!!!

edit: what im saying is, if it hadnt been a matter of urgancy that you got her out there and then your body would have pushed her out for you even if you couldnt feel the contactions, she might not have got stuck! it doesnt mean ur doomed to have horrible labours forever x

In hindsight i know why she got stuck but at the time she just needed to be out. It was literaly a case of if babys not out in 10 mins id have needed a section and i think if it came to that they wouldent have been time for an epi, they would have just put me under.

Not needing to be told is all well and fine if your having a textbook labour with no complications, mimimal pain relief and are confidant in your bodys abilitys but how many of us are actualy lucky enough to have a labour like that

Not only that but it wouldn't be a 'regular' crash C-section, it would be a zavanelli which is far more dangerous. 10 minutes would be far too long and yes, absolutely no time for an epi, you are looking at immediate GA and a very low cesarean along with an apgar of 1-4, if you're lucky.

In my case, wanting my body to naturally push him out almost killed him. I was not listening to the nurses scream at me to push. I did not realize what was happening.

So in hindsight having the same thing happen as you I certainly could care less if male or female! But here in Canada, you don't think twice about a man delivering your baby. That's a UK thing I suppose.

 

[lozzy21]

yeah, thats diffrent then isnt it, emergancy situations are but if theres no problems theres no reason why anyone should be told to push their body does it for them! my worst memory of labour is having my mam screaming "push come on zara pusshhh" at me ughhh! no mother this time!!!

edit: what im saying is, if it hadnt been a matter of urgancy that you got her out there and then your body would have pushed her out for you even if you couldnt feel the contactions, she might not have got stuck! it doesnt mean ur doomed to have horrible labours forever x

In hindsight i know why she got stuck but at the time she just needed to be out. It was literaly a case of if babys not out in 10 mins id have needed a section and i think if it came to that they wouldent have been time for an epi, they would have just put me under.

Not needing to be told is all well and fine if your having a textbook labour with no complications, mimimal pain relief and are confidant in your bodys abilitys but how many of us are actualy lucky enough to have a labour like that

Not only that but it wouldn't be a 'regular' crash C-section, it would be a zavanelli which is far more dangerous. 10 minutes would be far too long and yes, absolutely no time for an epi, you are looking at immediate GA and a very low cesarean along with an apgar of 1-4, if you're lucky.

In my case, wanting my body to naturally push him out almost killed him. I was not listening to the nurses scream at me to push. I did not realize what was happening.

So in hindsight having the same thing happen as you I certainly could care less if male or female! But here in Canada, you don't think twice about a man delivering your baby. That's a UK thing I suppose.

This was before her shoulder got stuck, before she had started to crown even.

 

[aliss]

yeah, thats diffrent then isnt it, emergancy situations are but if theres no problems theres no reason why anyone should be told to push their body does it for them! my worst memory of labour is having my mam screaming "push come on zara pusshhh" at me ughhh! no mother this time!!!

edit: what im saying is, if it hadnt been a matter of urgancy that you got her out there and then your body would have pushed her out for you even if you couldnt feel the contactions, she might not have got stuck! it doesnt mean ur doomed to have horrible labours forever x

In hindsight i know why she got stuck but at the time she just needed to be out. It was literaly a case of if babys not out in 10 mins id have needed a section and i think if it came to that they wouldent have been time for an epi, they would have just put me under.

Not needing to be told is all well and fine if your having a textbook labour with no complications, mimimal pain relief and are confidant in your bodys abilitys but how many of us are actualy lucky enough to have a labour like that

Not only that but it wouldn't be a 'regular' crash C-section, it would be a zavanelli which is far more dangerous. 10 minutes would be far too long and yes, absolutely no time for an epi, you are looking at immediate GA and a very low cesarean along with an apgar of 1-4, if you're lucky.

In my case, wanting my body to naturally push him out almost killed him. I was not listening to the nurses scream at me to push. I did not realize what was happening.

So in hindsight having the same thing happen as you I certainly could care less if male or female! But here in Canada, you don't think twice about a man delivering your baby. That's a UK thing I suppose.

This was before her shoulder got stuck, before she had started to crown even.

Just a disaster all around How fortunate that Niamh is doing well these days. We are fortunate to have had skilled medical professionals, no matter what gender, mine really minimized the damage done!

I can understand those who have personal feelings against a male going around down there, due to sexual abuse, religion, whatever. I feel that sort of stigma ingrained in them due to previous history would seriously inhibit their ability to labour or deliver properly too. But not just because it seems "weird" for a man to do that.

 

[PepsiChic]

not all FEMALE midwifes have had babies....so saying a man doesnt know what its like is no different to a women whos never had a baby.

honestly, if hes nice, knows what hes doing, listens to what my birth plan is, and is a professional, im happy to let him deliver my baby.

my OBGYN (US version of a midwife) was female, but her partner was male. when i went into labour she was at a different hospital to the one i was registered at, because she was helping with an emerg c-sec with triplets. she told me either i could drive the extra 40 minutes (1 hour 10 minutes total as first hospital was 30 minutes away) to the hospital she was at, or go to the original hospital and her partner could delivery the baby.

I choose to drive the extra distance to have her deliver the baby, not because he was male, that didnt even cross my mind, i did it because i saw hr and only her the whole pregnancy and i wanted someone i knew, someone who knew my exact birth plan (no needles/iv/meds) to delivery my baby.

 

[x-Rainbow-x]

A male midwife would not bother me in the slightest!

there are plenty of midwives who havent had babies for whatever reason

my theory is u dont go to hospital with a broken arm / appendix etc and ask for a person who has had the same to treat you because they know how your feeling

u go and expect someone to look after you who knows what they are doing and how to treat u

Midwives the same as everyone else have massively different birthing expieriences (i know because i am a midwife) some midwives have had super easy births and have had no problems at all and some have had a hell of a time , i believe that with some midwives these expieriences leave pre convieved ideas with them

i truely believe as long as the person knows what they are doing , and i feel safe with them they could be male/female/gay/straight etc etc

 

[aliss]

I'm not sure what the qualifications are for midwives in the UK but here most OBGYN's do the pregnancy/delivery and that takes 10 years solid university, so it's very unlikely to have a female one who has kids (unless she is quite a bit older already). Midwives here are more rare but they require a 4 year university degree plus practical training which is so heavy in coursework/practicals that they generally aren't even allowed to work or have time for anything else, so again, most of them are younger.

My OBGYN's at delivery (2) were both female, but both in their late 40's. The nurses were mostly younger and again, childless.

 

[charlotte-xo]

a male delivered alfie. i dont think alfie would be here now without him.
he was a dcotor but he was there through the most crucial point of my labour. alfie was stuck in the birth canal for a while, his shoulder was caught, his heart rate was going down really fast so i had to be cut and they tried the ventouse and kiwiw and eventually he freed his shoulder and pulled him out. alfie was barely breathing when he was delivered,
i know its different he was a doctor but he was still a male he was still with me at my most vunerable and crucial point and he held my hand afterwards whilst a lady stitched me up lol

i dont think it matterswhat gender a person is aslong as they can do the job and are proffesional and supportive.

 

[lozzy21]

yeah, thats diffrent then isnt it, emergancy situations are but if theres no problems theres no reason why anyone should be told to push their body does it for them! my worst memory of labour is having my mam screaming "push come on zara pusshhh" at me ughhh! no mother this time!!!

edit: what im saying is, if it hadnt been a matter of urgancy that you got her out there and then your body would have pushed her out for you even if you couldnt feel the contactions, she might not have got stuck! it doesnt mean ur doomed to have horrible labours forever x

In hindsight i know why she got stuck but at the time she just needed to be out. It was literaly a case of if babys not out in 10 mins id have needed a section and i think if it came to that they wouldent have been time for an epi, they would have just put me under.

Not needing to be told is all well and fine if your having a textbook labour with no complications, mimimal pain relief and are confidant in your bodys abilitys but how many of us are actualy lucky enough to have a labour like that

Not only that but it wouldn't be a 'regular' crash C-section, it would be a zavanelli which is far more dangerous. 10 minutes would be far too long and yes, absolutely no time for an epi, you are looking at immediate GA and a very low cesarean along with an apgar of 1-4, if you're lucky.

In my case, wanting my body to naturally push him out almost killed him. I was not listening to the nurses scream at me to push. I did not realize what was happening.

So in hindsight having the same thing happen as you I certainly could care less if male or female! But here in Canada, you don't think twice about a man delivering your baby. That's a UK thing I suppose.

This was before her shoulder got stuck, before she had started to crown even.

Just a disaster all around How fortunate that Niamh is doing well these days. We are fortunate to have had skilled medical professionals, no matter what gender, mine really minimized the damage done!

I can understand those who have personal feelings against a male going around down there, due to sexual abuse, religion, whatever. I feel that sort of stigma ingrained in them due to previous history would seriously inhibit their ability to labour or deliver properly too. But not just because it seems "weird" for a man to do that.

In the UK if you need a doctor in labour you get who ever is working that day wether its male or female. I couldent care less who saw my bits which in the end was about 15 people including about 3 men- the doctor that deliverd her and the two pediatricans (sp?) that came down from special care as long as they got her breathing.

 

[lozzy21]

I'm not sure what the qualifications are for midwives in the UK but here most OBGYN's do the pregnancy/delivery and that takes 10 years solid university, so it's very unlikely to have a female one who has kids (unless she is quite a bit older already). Midwives here are more rare but they require a 4 year university degree plus practical training which is so heavy in coursework/practicals that they generally aren't even allowed to work or have time for anything else, so again, most of them are younger.

My OBGYN's at delivery (2) were both female, but both in their late 40's. The nurses were mostly younger and again, childless.

Our midwifes are like yours, 3/4 years at uni. Some of them do it straight. from school, others do it later and our doctors have to spend a lot longer than that. But the differance is in the uk midwifes specialise in normal deliverys and you only usualy have a doctor deliver if they are some complications.

 

[midori1999]

I think there's maybe some confusion about the roles of midwives/OB/GYn's and what they do.

We still have OB/GYN's here in the UK, they are just usually referred to as 'consultants' if you are pregnant and seeing one. They are doctors and highly qualified and experienced, just like they are in the US.

Pregnancy and childbirth is nowhere near as medicalised in the UK as in the US and some other countries, so seeing a doctor isn't standard here unless you are in some way deemed to be high risk, so most women just see midwives instead and may never see a doctor other than their GP for their whole pregnancy, even at the delivery.

 

[sam#3]

the male midwife was fantastic.... if only all midwives had his compassion and dedication

 

[Chantibug]

my OB is a male... a male delivered my last 2 babies. I'm more comfortable with a male dr. . at least i dont have to listen to a female saying "oh i've done this before, you're fine suck it up.." lol

 

[aliss]

I think there's maybe some confusion about the roles of midwives/OB/GYn's and what they do.

We still have OB/GYN's here in the UK, they are just usually referred to as 'consultants' if you are pregnant and seeing one. They are doctors and highly qualified and experienced, just like they are in the US.

Pregnancy and childbirth is nowhere near as medicalised in the UK as in the US and some other countries, so seeing a doctor isn't standard here unless you are in some way deemed to be high risk, so most women just see midwives instead and may never see a doctor other than their GP for their whole pregnancy, even at the delivery.

Thanks for clearing that up, I've always seen the term 'consultant' used and I always thought, "gee, wouldn't u want to see a doctor for that issue instead?" LOL.

 

[aliss]

At least a male midwife or doctor isn't like some foolish OH's that think contractions is like a bad period pain

 

[Chantibug]

I'm not sure what the qualifications are for midwives in the UK but here most OBGYN's do the pregnancy/delivery and that takes 10 years solid university, so it's very unlikely to have a female one who has kids (unless she is quite a bit older already). Midwives here are more rare but they require a 4 year university degree plus practical training which is so heavy in coursework/practicals that they generally aren't even allowed to work or have time for anything else, so again, most of them are younger.

My OBGYN's at delivery (2) were both female, but both in their late 40's. The nurses were mostly younger and again, childless.

I saw an OB with my first pregnancy who had just had her first child. She was a couple of years out of med school, maybe around 30 years old. I dont think it's unlikely that in the us a ob or gyn would have kids.. I go to a group practice, and all of them - males and females- have kids of their own. and here, it is arund 7-8 years school (7 if on 'fast track' which is common, as many of my friends went through it at university of central florida, duke university, and university of florida), then residency for 2 years and then fellowship for a year. In the residency and fellowship years, my med student friends have all had lives I'm excited for a friend who is graduating this mayfrom studies in urology , after being in the 'fast track' (graduated hs in 2003), so less than 10 years...