OT - would you forgive a cheat?

[daisy777]

i have been broke from my ex for about 6 months now due to the way he treated me, he did unthinkable things (cheating, lying making me feel terrible about myself etc) basically the things he did were worse than what you see on jeremy kyle lol.
but we have gotten close recently, he claims hes realized what mistakes he made and has grown up and wants to settle down with his family.
i love him. im just not sure if i could trust him again.
just out of curiousity, would you ever forgive a cheat?
x

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

Personally the answer is no. I have been cheated on in the past and it broke my heart, I could never put myself at risk again with the same person knowing they did it before. I'm worth more than that!!
The trust would never be there for me and a relationship without trust is a waste of time.

 

[binxyboo]

I personally couldn't.
If my husband cheated on me, it would be a divorce.
I have been cheated on before, and it broke my heart. Never again.

 

[LoraLoo]

I couldn't, no. There doubts would always be there and I couldn't never trust him again.

 

[lolababes]

Personally yes I could but only because I have been that cheat (>>>runs to hide from the backlash) BUT there were reasons behind it that me and DH had that Im not going to justify! I did what I did and me and DH are stronger now for it (it was a 1 off btw) as we talk a LOT more and understand each other better xx

 

[tristansmum]

i have... been 3 years and things are great (although he cheated he never was horrible to me or put me down like you described). If you want to try again take it slowly. Make him earn your trust again- its took a good 2 years for me and we had not broken up. Go on dates, talk and basically start again. If he drops back into his old ways then thats it! Ultimately its up to you. If you can walk away no and be happy with no regrets then you should. But if you still love him and want to try then maybe give it a go. May people say a cheat is always a cheat but i don't believe this. People can change but don't make it easy for him. good luck xxx

 

[LesleyP]

I would depending on the situation, it would take a LONG time for me to trust him again. The trouble on one hand there's the chance that he will actually change his ways, on the other hand he may end up doing it again and think that he can turn on the charm again and get you to take him back.

My advice, just tread carefully - take it slow & see what happens

 

[ShanandBoc]

Its a hard one.

When there is a child involved (im guessing there is) thats something you have to consider as well.

I was cheated on, emotionally and on occasion physically abused by my ex, so i dont know how id cope if my husband cheated. With all my heart i dont think he ever would as he is the complete opposite to my ex, plus we take our marriage vowels very seriously.

For me, repeated cheating would be grounds for divorce. Trust is very hard to fix once its been broken but im sure it can be done.

I firmly believe people can change. But yeh def take it slow and make it clear exactly where he stands and that it would be a last chance if u do decide to take him back.

Wishing you love and happiness for the future x

 

[elephant29]

If I'm answering honsetly? Yes. Of course circumstance comes into it and how hurt I have been.

If it were my OH I would find it hard not to forgive him because I love him and we have Aria. However I would find it hard to trust him for a long time and that would probably spell the end of our relationship.

xxx

 

[blinkybaby]

I would probably give him one more chance but go into the relationship being prepared for things to fail then if they do it won't be such a shock. Obviously you have to put the effort in and stuff, but be prepared that things might go the same way. You have survived 6 months without him, doing it on your own, so you know you can be on your own and if he f*cks up again then that's it, no going back and don't let the door hit you on the way out! xx

 

[CharlieKeys]

I guess it depends on the circumstances behind the cheating... it it was more htan once than no... if it was an affair than no... but if it was a one night stand then maybe! IMO, if someone cheats it's because there's something wrong with the relationship and I don't think the excuse 'I was drunk' is a valid excuse! If you know you're drunk, then you know what you're doing! It would take a lot of work to forgive and trust him again but I honestly don't think I'll ever have that problem - he is 100% faithful - even when he was with his EX who used to hit him (yep she used to hit him!) and not let him out, he remained faithful to her (she didn't reciprocate which was good for me lol).

Can you forget and forgive everything he's done? Take it slowly - maybe start from the beignning, and go on a few dates and see how it develops from there.

 

[Blob]

Depends... The cheating yes but the making you feel bad about yourself bit no never!! Someone can make mistakes and that's fine but making you feel like crap is something that they will never change. That's my own opinion though x

 

[NG09]

No way never.

 

[N1kki]

nope your better off going alone!

 

[CharlieKeys]

No way never.

(sorry to post hi-jack!) But NG09 - just noticed we both have Stephen's! Don't see it much anymore lol

 

[Lightworker]

If my DH cheated I would forgive him and we'd still be best friends but the marriage would undoubtedly be over. Fidelity is something we both feel strongly about and whilst I wouldn't bear a grudge, I wouldn't want to be his wife anymore.
Follow your heart hun, do what feels right for you.

 

[welshprincess]

personally no, i think once a cheat always a cheat. If they got caught they would be much more careful next time ! As the old saying goes a leapord never changes its spots

 

[EverythingXd]

For me personally, I doubt it would work. I'm so insecure I couldn't even cope when years ago an ex finished with me for a while because he was thinking about dating someone else instead - he eventually picked me, but I couldn't get over it and we split a year later.

If you still love him after 6 months apart, maybe you need to give it a trial, take it steady and see how things go.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[ShanandBoc]

personally no, i think once a cheat always a cheat. If they got caught they would be much more careful next time ! As the old saying goes a leapord never changes its spots

See, This. I strongly disagree with.

How you can say seriously that a person can never change?

People change all the time. Just because someone does a bad thing once, are you saying they can never change?

Makes no sense to me.

 

[amygwen]

NO!
Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater!