Other preemie moms..

[nkbapbt]

How did you do it? How did you leave the hospital without your baby? How did you figure out the next steps? I had planned to stay home with Lakai after he was born..but I also planned to have a baby with me. I dont know what to do. I dont know if I work and visit as much as humanly possible. Or I still stay with him. I cannot believe I have to even make these choices.

How did you cope with everything?
How did you pass the time?
How did you not completely LOSE your mind?!

 

[Emma.Gi]

Awww hun. It's so hard, I understand what you're going through. You've got to be strong hun even though you're torn inside. He'll be home before you know it. I didn't work hun, I spent every minute possible with Harry when he was in hospital. I don't know how I coped, you just have to and manage hun. To pass the time, well other than spending as much time as possible by his bedside, I slept, watched telly, read, played on the computer, anything I could do really. I'd already lost my mind way before Harry was born Big hugs, if you ever need to chat I've got 2 ears.

 

[Bec L]

Hiya
Our LO was 6 weeks early and I was sent home from hospital 2 days after having her. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I basically spent the 2 weeks that she was in special care sat in the room she was in just staring at her, getting her out of her incubator whenever I was allowed and feeding her when it was ok to do so. I was in tears every day but had lots of support from my family.

I think the staff at the hospital thought I was a bit mad for being there so much and tried to encourage me to leave at mealtimes etc, espcially as Lo was asleep so much of the time. I found it hard to do this but I know you have to to keep sane! Just popping to the shops to buy things for her made me feel a bit better and when I got home from the hospital at night I used to try to switch off by watching tv or going on the internet.

I found the whole experience upsetting and frustrating and it seemed to last forever even though I know 2 weeks is nothing.

I hope it's not too long before you have him home. You WILL cope and every little milestones he achieves will feel like such a miracle and make it all feel worth it.

Sending you
Take care xx

 

[turbo_mom]

well it was the toughest thing that I could do.... I left the hospital many times in tears because I didn't want to leave my baby...
I was hardly ever home though. Id go to the hospital alone and pump, eat dinner and sit by Angelynn's side. I was usually there 1-4 hours at a time. I would have slept there if i could. I would just sit with my hands around her and talk to her. When she was transferred into her cot 2 months later I would just sit and cuddle with her...

It may seem unbearable right now for you... but you just learn to cope. Everyone deals with it in their own ways. I thought many times I would lose my mind. But then I remembered that she was so small and weak and I had to be strong for her and for my own sake. Having my family's support was very helpful too in helping me cope...

But if you want to be with him than you go ahead and be with him as much as you want. At that point in my life my Angel was my only priority. I do not regret spending so much time with her especially because I didn't know from one day to the next if she was going to make it.

I know how frustrating it is being the mom.. I always felt many times that it was my fault.. and for all of the things she had gone through. I kept thinking if she was still inside of me none of this would be happening.
But I beleive us moms are chosen to be moms to these special babies. Everything happens for a reason.

please feel free to PM me if you need to talk or vent. I remember being in your situation.. it was always nice to hear from other mums how to get through those tough days.. if you look back on the first page of this preemie section you'll see my daily updates of Angelynn. That was such a helpful thing for me, writing it down.

Keep us updated on your LO


Just remember to try and take care of yourself too.

 

[dippy dee]

Hi hun our little one was born at 26 weeks and leaving him broke my heart, i was there from 8 in the morning untill 9 at night i just sat there and tried to get involved as much as i could eg doing his gravity feeds, changing him, mouth care etc etc other than that i'd sit and eat or pump my milk, i also pushed for skin to skin even tho he was on a ventilator which was lovely and also boosted my milk by 100%.
It's hard and heart breaking but he'll soon be in your arms.

 

[nkbapbt]

dippy dee how did you push for skin to skin cuddling? Thats my main goal..and I want it so badly. They do Kangaroo care at the hospital he is in...so I want to push for it ASAP. I think it will help both of us beyond anything else we know.

This is going to sound crazy..but I think deep inside I knew he was coming early. Everytime I went shopping for clothing for him I found myself picking up preemie stuff first...when I hit 24 weeks..I had this sense that I was going to see him very very soon..My gut feeling has never led me astray and frankly though I know there will ups and downs..I know he will be ok, whatever form of ok he wants to strive for.

He is strong and willful. I just have this 'feeling' everything will be alright at the end of the roller coaster!

I have to ask, for those of you who stayed in the NICU almost 24/7 what did you do for work? I know its selfish but I am curious about what I do next..I dont want to go back to work..but also once he comes home I want to be able to stay home..we just bought our first place, so I need some sort of income.

I hate thinking about this right now..but with this happening like it has my "plans" are all messed up.

 

[Sarah+Ellen]

hi there, Ellen was born at 24 weeks and i staed at the hospital as a patient for the first week for th enext 23 weeks i travelled in and out every day to see her.
As for work we tried to get something sorted out so i could maybe go to mornings then go into Ellen and then when she came home take my mat leave then but my employer (ultimatly the NHS as worked at a gp's) couldnt get it sorted though i have heard of other mums being able to do it, it depends on your employer. Other mums have been signed off sick as they were entitled to sick pay at full pay.
As for stayin g sane, you just do! We made sure that if Ellen was having a good day then we wouldnt stay as late at the hospital and then we would get some rest too. If you have family nearby wanting to help then ask for meals, things you can keep in the fridge or freezer and reheat when you get in from the hospital.
Hope your LO is doing well,

 

[Faerie]

Thank you all for posting your inspirational stories. We've just been told that our baby has Gastroschisis, and that these babies have a tendancy to be born prem. I'm torn between wishing we didn't know and being grateful that we can sort of prepare ourselves, though I don't think anything will ever really prepare us.
Love to you all xx

 

[dippy dee]

dippy dee how did you push for skin to skin cuddling? Thats my main goal..and I want it so badly. They do Kangaroo care at the hospital he is in...so I want to push for it ASAP. I think it will help both of us beyond anything else we know.

This is going to sound crazy..but I think deep inside I knew he was coming early. Everytime I went shopping for clothing for him I found myself picking up preemie stuff first...when I hit 24 weeks..I had this sense that I was going to see him very very soon..My gut feeling has never led me astray and frankly though I know there will ups and downs..I know he will be ok, whatever form of ok he wants to strive for.

He is strong and willful. I just have this 'feeling' everything will be alright at the end of the roller coaster!

I have to ask, for those of you who stayed in the NICU almost 24/7 what did you do for work? I know its selfish but I am curious about what I do next..I dont want to go back to work..but also once he comes home I want to be able to stay home..we just bought our first place, so I need some sort of income.

I hate thinking about this right now..but with this happening like it has my "plans" are all messed up.

Hi sweetie i just nagged them, also there was a pic of a prem baby on a vent hung on the wall and the baby was having skin to skin so i begged, cried and begged some more, luckily they were brill there and allowed this so my dh and myself had him our each day as long as he was stable.
I've been told harley ( the lo we are expecting) will be born early so for us it's just a waiting game now as my previous babies were 26- 27 week babies with 1 also at 34 weeks so i am at the moment trying to get all sorted with things from childcare to making food for them fo when i'm in with him.
Have you thought about making a baby diary, record everything each day i did i wrote down everything from average saturations h rate feeds etc etc then a little about how i felt and how he was doing the i wrote a paragraph in the eyes of jack i cry now when i read it but it is a lovely keepsake.
I was put on sickness benefits and this enabled me to be with him more, also the hospital helped towards traveling expenses they also gave a voucher for 1 free meal a day as i was expressing so went to the resturant to help break the day up and i also got the rest reduced.
If you do go back to work then don't worry no one will think any different of you , if it helps the days go by and the money in the bank then do what is best for you, a nurse once told me that all the sitting by the incubator in the world wouldn't make time go by faster.
I hope your little man is doing well and i send all my love and wishes to you.