Our donor journey

[Mrs G]

Hi

The story so far.....
We had ICSI in Sept 2009, at that stage it was MF, got 4 grade a embies, 2 back and we now have a beautiful 4yo daughter. The year after I fell pg naturally but mc. In 2012 we started thinking about more treatment and in Jan 2013 I had a hysteroscopy to check there was no obvious reason for the mc. We then started what turned out to be a nightmare year. We used our last 2 frosties in April 2013, BFN. We switched clinic and started an antagonist cycle in July, which was cancelled in Aug as I reacted abnormally to the stims. September we started a long protocol and I went in for EC the day before my birthday. Despite having good follies on the scans, they were all empty or way too small. We tried again in December, got one good egg which fertilized but didn't make it through the night. So at xmas, we thought it was all over and started to accept we would never have another child.

Fairly quickly though I concluded I wasn't ready to give up when I knew there were still options open to us. Our original clinic and the one we have been using told us there was no point using my eggs again, they were too low in number and quality. DH would not consider adoption, so it seemed donor eggs were the way forward. We had the counselling and went on the lists of 2 clinics. Our original clinic were very honest and said their program was very small, we basically went straight to the top of the list and there were no donors available at the time, so we weren't really expecting to hear much from them. The other clinic was more of a specialised donor clinic and said within 6 months they expected to get a match.

So the months have ticked on, if someone had said to me in January that I'd have to wait til July to hear anything I'd have gone nuts but it's actually been fine. I'm fitter than I've been in ages and life has returned to as close to normal as it gets! We also decided to put off any treatment until Oct, we've booked a holiday for August, DD starts school in September and I didn't want the summer to be about anything other than her. Plus it#s my 40th birthday in September (big party!) and I'm running a half marathon.

Then on Tuesday I get a phone call from our original clinic, saying they have an egg share donor........ The characteristic match is virtually perfect and it seems they are happy to delay slightly until Oct. It all feels very surreal and as much as saying yes please was instinctive, I am still terrified.

There seem to be so many what ifs....actually just one - there have to be at least 8 eggs at collection for us to share. The clinic have said all the signs are that she will be a good responder but that is my only worry. What if, yet again, we get to that final hurdle and it all falls apart in our hands?

Not a lot will happen for a while, a few bloods and forms and I guess a treatment plan but they are talking about EC week of 6th Oct, with the poss option of blast transfer the week after.

I am scared, nervous, petrified, so so grateful.

This will be my sounding post for the next few weeks. If you have read this, thank you very much for your patience and for your company!

Kath xx

 

[captainj1]

hi Mrs G! good luck with your journey. I am in a similar situation to you in terms of already have one child although my DS was conceived naturally when I was 35. My IVF history is in my signature. We haven't given up with IVF with my eggs yet and are just about to start trying natural cycle IVF; it has good success rates with older women but will likely take a number of cycles before success (if indeed success occurs).

It is a very personal decision I know, but we have decided our son will be a singleton if we can't do this with my eggs. I am pretty much emotionally spent as it is. You are obviously very strong and have a great husband. Wishing you tons of luck and looking forward to following your journey xx

 

[Mrs G]

Hi
Thanks so much for popping into my journal. Wow, you have done loads of cycles too, it really takes its toll doesn't it. What is a natural cycl? I've not heard of that option.

Using donor eggs took me a long time to get my head round. I was really up for adoption so I figured if I could do that, I could do donor. Very few people know about our treatments and we aren't going to tell those who of know that this is any different to before. I know lots of people say you should be honest from the start but my biggest hurdle was that the baby would not be genetically linked to my family and we figure it's best if they don't know that. I'm sure people may say we're denying the truth of this but it's just one of our ways of coping with it.

So when do things get started with your cycle?

Kath xx

 

[captainj1]

Hi Kath (I'm Jane by the way)

Natural cycle IVF is where you have no stims, I had a scan on CD1 and one on CD9 and I am doing my ovitrelle trigger tonight and having egg retrieval on Monday which will be CD12. They will hopefully get the one egg (or possibly two eggs) that my body has selected for ovulation this month. They will then do IVF on it and hopefully transfer it back if it fertilises and develops normally.

The theory is that by letting your body select the egg, you have a better chance of it being a good one than by stimulating your (ageing) body to produce lots of eggs for the sake of lots of eggs and getting poor quality.

Statistics show a 25% chance of there being a 5 day blasto to transfer back, but a 60% chance of pregnancy if you do have a 5 day blasto transferred back.

So chances are this will take several goes before we even get something to transfer back. But it is a lot easier on the body and the wallet.

How is your training going for the half marathon? I'm very impressed. I did a 5k the weekend before last and struggled massively! I used to do so much sport before I had my son, no time now with a high pressure job involving lots of travel and devoting any other time to DS and DH! x

 

[Mrs G]

Hi Jane

Collection Monday, how exciting!! How did the trigger go? I like the theory behind natural ivf but never heard anyone offer it round here. Age def is a factor. Our first cycle 5 yrs ago, I had 8 at ec, last yr 1 or none!

Training is going ok, up to 8 miles so far. Am due to do 9 in the morning but dd has spent the last 2 hrs being sick so we'll see. The hardest part is the time it takes. I don't go quick, so runs that distance take well over hour and a half. I do feel really good for doing it tho.

Let me know how things go and I'll have everyrhing crossed for Monday.

Kath xx

 

[captainj1]

hi Kath - just a quick update on me, neither of my large follicles contained an egg so nothing retrieved this morning. I'm gutted. My consultant wants to discuss it with the others in his practice before we have a follow up appointment. He said that the fluid in the follicles contained granular cells, slate cells or something? I didn't really understand but it apparently implies a problem with the maturation of the eggs. I get the feeling that this could be a big issue and this might be the end of the road for us, or maybe natural cycle ivf isn't the right route for me. Who knows. I'm just very sad.

I hope you've had a better day than me hon.

xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Oh Jane I am so sorry. I was working yesterday so didn't get a chance to get on here. How are you feeling today? It's such heartbreak getting to that point then hearing bad news.
I had a similar result in sept, 4 good follies on scan all were empty except one which was so tiny they couldn't get it out. The dr advised me to go on a range of vits plus a supplement called dhea. You have to get it online, they don't readily sell it in uk. I'll go back over my old journal on here and see exactly what I was taking. Anyway come dec I got a better result. One fertilised, which was an improvement for us. If I'd been on it longer I wonder if the result would've been better still.

I hope youre doing ok. I know how awful it is, please pm if you need to vent.

Massive hugs
Kath xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Hi Jane.
Vit c, vit b incl folic acid, omega 3 and dhea. There is a fish oil supplement called dha which my acupuncturist also recommended but the dr said dhea was the one to try.
Xx

 

[KatherineA]

Hi Kath and Jane,

Nice to meet you and to hear your stories. I am about to embark on a DE IVF cycle (my story is in my sig). Going to a first appointment in Dublin on 5 August with Institut Marques in Barcelona (they travel to Dublin once a month for appointments, saves us a flight to Barcelona).

After we have signed the paperwork, they should be able to find us a donor pretty quickly so it could be Sept/Oct. Have made the decison to go down this route as I think it is out best option and I personally feel comfortable with donor eggs as I dont want to be spending money on cycles of IVF with my own eggs, only to get failures. I have had counselling about the implications of using a donor and really feel its our best option.

Good luck with your journeys and keep me posted !!!

 

[Mrs G]

Hi Katherine. Thanks for popping by.

So your appointment is next week? How exciting! Do you have to travel to Barcelona for the treatment?

Jane, I hope youre doing ok.

We've got an app in a couple of weeks, just for bloods, paperwork, pay the bill (ouch!!). It's 9 weeks til my run so guess that means 10 weeks til treatment!

Xx

 

[Mrs G]

Started down regs on Thursday. Ok so far. Weird (& humbling) to think somewhere there is another girl doing the same, for us xx

 

[captainj1]

Hi Kath, great news that you are starting, I always found time went so much more quickly once I started the process. I'm so excited for you, and keeping everything crossed.

I am sorry I haven't been on here/been quiet, I had my follow up with my consultant back in July and he told us to quit ivf as he thinks the chances of it working with our own eggs are 10% and his view was that was the same chance as trying naturally so why waste money. I was gutted but also relieved at having an end to the ivf as I had become emotionally drained with the whole thing. He gave me clomid, which I'd never tried, as a bit of a consolation ('it can't hurt to try it for 3 months' were his words.

Anyway I took it cd2-6 on my July/August cycle, and also started acupuncture to de-stress (had first session just after the clomid and she did some ovarian stimulation needles with electrodes or something?). Last weekend at 14dpo I got a BFP. Tested with a digi as period hadn't arrived and got Pregnant 2-3 weeks. I was amazed and am incredibly cautious, I have blood test on Monday to see how hcg levels are looking.

So that's my update. Long way to go.

So Kath tell us more about your protocol? What drugs do you have to do and what's the timeline? Xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Hi Jane,
That is amazing news!!! I'm so thrilled for you. How did your blood test go?

I'm on buserelin, then progesterone from baseline scan in a couple of weeks. Collection should be wed 8th October, we'll know the week before how the donors stims are going.

Keep me updated.

Xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Sept has been a crazy month. Dd started school, I turned 40 and had a couple of amazing bday weekends and next weekend I run my first half marathon. Ec is still scheduled for next wed, bit of a nervous week waiting to see how our donor is responding to stims. There has to be at least 8 eggs at collection for us to share, fewer and we get nothing. Trying to be positive but still that element of uncertainty. For acupuncture wed, then the run at the wknd so keeping busy and keeping everything crossed. Feel like I have no control. My body has let me down at his stage so many times before, I just need to trust that our donor will do a better job than I've been able to. Xx

 

[captainj1]

Just a quick note to say good luck for the half marathon and to find out how EC went - did your donor have enough eggs for sharing? Keeping everything crossed for you hon xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Bit of a set back... Although our donor has a lot of follicles they are too small for collection this wk. they've upped her dose and will scan again thurs, so fx for then. Potentially ec tues next week. So back in limbo til then...

Did the half marathon yesterday, PB of 2 hrs 16 mins so pretty chuffed and raised just under £1000 for Tommy's.

Xx

 

[Mrs G]

Better news today... Donor had another scan and all looking good for collection tues. Nurse said numbers and sizes were all good so fx again! X

 

[captainj1]

Fantastic news! All systems go! When will you find out how many eggs were retrieved? Presumably DH has to be at the clinic at around that time to do the business? X fingers crossed there is a good haul of mature eggs hon xxx

 

[Mrs G]

Hi
Ec is tues. I've got to go for lining scan, dh also had to be there 😳 and sharer will be in for collection at a similar time. They'll let us know later tues how many there are. Has to be over 8 to share. Not really thinking past tues, one thing at a time and everything crossed.

How's things with you hun?
Xx

 

[captainj1]

All ok with me thanks. Been ill with tummy troubles for the last month and lost some weight so awaiting test results. Not a bug, that came back clear. Might be ibs or coeliac. Have a Doppler and getting fetal heartbeat so looks like everything is ok in there so far despite me not keeping food in my tummy for any time at all!

Will be thinking of you on Tuesday. How do they make sure you don't meet your donor by accident? Fingers crossed there are ok rower than 8 eggs and your lining is looking nice and thick for a top quality embryo to snuggle in.

Great effort on the marathon by the way! What a time. And great funds for a fab cause. I did my bit for charity this week by bidding a big number for something in a charity auction and winning it. Slightly less effort than running a marathon although the bank account is decidedly lighter!!! Xxx