PAL - February 2013 rainbow babies

[NT123]

Feel exactly the same, just can't really get excited, I feel like my mmc, of which I have only suffered one so not as much as some ladies, has taken that precious naivity away from me. Now I worry that my lack of excitement and my tendency to believe things are more likely to go wrong than right, will mean I don't bond with this pregnancy in the way I felt so connected with my angel. I do hope this is the rainbow but I just don't feel in my heart that it is.

Now dreading my scan at 8 weeks because my mmc lost a baby at 9+6 and even if it seems ok there is no promise it will stay that way.

 

[PerpetualMama]

I knew I could count on you ladies to know exactly this emotion. I do remember tp checking with the others but not nearly with as much trepidation. I was completely taken by surprise with my m/c. I too have only lost the one, but I'm afraid to get too excited. I am actually a week away from when I started to miscarry the last one. The closer I get the more the fear expands. I cannot imagine multiple losses and still keeping hope. I'm glad those of you in that boat still have faith that this CAN be it (and I hope beyond hope that it really is fr all of us). If anything happens here for me, there will be no more chance pregnancies. DH wants a vasectomy so there will be no more surprises. Here's praying my little bun grows into a full loaf

 

[Wiggler]

I have to keep telling myself that by this point I had already lost my first angel and with my second I was already bleeding by this point, I never had symptoms with either and this time I feel like crap so thats brilliant

This is my last pregnancy too no matter what the outcome, if I MC again there is no way I will try again as its too hard, and if I don't I will end up with severe SPD again and thats bad enough as I end up almost bedbound with the pain, its easy to keep the kids entertained from the sofa while they are little, but they are growing up fast and this is really the last chance I have to be almost immobile for 7-8 months whie they are too little to remember. x x x

 

[PerpetualMama]

I keep wishing my scan was earlier, but it's good I will be past the 6+5 I was when I saw my blip's h/b just days before it all turned south. I will be glad to be past that point. I still will be afraid even after a good scan, but at least I may start to hope.

Yay wiggler, past 2 scarey points

 

[Wiggler]

I had a good scan last time too, 2 days later I started bleeding, it was horrible. I will always be thankful I saw that little heartbeat though, they even broke the EPU rules and gave me a piccy, I keep it next to the plant I bought after we lost our first angel. x x x

 

[PerpetualMama]

Feel exactly the same, just can't really get excited, I feel like my mmc, of which I have only suffered one so not as much as some ladies, has taken that precious naivity away from me. Now I worry that my lack of excitement and my tendency to believe things are more likely to go wrong than right, will mean I don't bond with this pregnancy in the way I felt so connected with my angel. I do hope this is the rainbow but I just don't feel in my heart that it is.

Now dreading my scan at 8 weeks because my mmc lost a baby at 9+6 and even if it seems ok there is no promise it will stay that way.

Yes afraid things can still go wrong even with positive news. I still want to see positive news even if I don't let my guard down afterward.
We still have a good 6 months to bond with the LO after the scariest trimester is over. This is a defense mechanism we're using that if we don't get too attached it won' hurt so badly. I think I'm past the point where not feeling so hurt would be possible. I've already thought of potential names despite my vows I wouldn't. I already look forward to a big belly, and baby clothes, and the smell of a newborn. I'm hooked and it makes the fear even greater.
Day to day, I guess. We've made it this far!

 

[PerpetualMama]

I had a good scan last time too, 2 days later I started bleeding, it was horrible. I will always be thankful I saw that little heartbeat though, they even broke the EPU rules and gave me a piccy, I keep it next to the plant I bought after we lost our first angel. x x x

I was 3 days later when I started to bleed. I still have the text I sent my cousin saying "It was a tiny little blip of a baby, but its heart was beating, so so far so good." I didn't get to see the h/b even though I craned my neck, but the tech said it was there and DH thinks he saw it. I didn't get a pic either. The covering doc at my obgyn kept trying to tell me I was still pregnant after I had bled for 5 days and had severe cramping to the point I couldn't get out of bed. They sent me for an u/s on day 5 and it was all mush. The u/s tech said my doc would call and I just looked at her and said no, I know you can't tell me about the scan, but it was all mush there wasn't it? She just grimaced and nodded. That's when my interest in u/s was formed and why I have worked so hard to get into the program.
I went in with my DD Feb 7 for her u/s and the baby was measuring 6 w when she was thought to be maybe 7 or 8w. I didn't see a h/b and kind of knew that the next scan would see no change. There was no way the baby would measure only 6 w at that point because her first u/s many weeks before had a gest sac and yolk sac at a time when the fertilized egg would've still been floating around. I didn't crush my daughter's hopes that her valentine's scan would be ok, I just said I hope so. I still have the pic she took of her 6w embryo. That was my first grandbaby.

 

[Wiggler]

x x x

 

[flutterbaby]

i only lost 1 but had 4 healthy boys and i cant help but think thats my girl that went the thing that hit me most was i was 8 weeks 2 days and i just couldn't get out of my head that it had a hb and then it stopped it had developed then had stopped all the time thinking it because it was a girl i had really bad ms and migraines with that one and was fine with all my boys except for the odd bleed

all my boys was concieved in nov and so was my mc but this one in may prob dont make a difference but thought id add it

i think ill be ok when i get 2 my 12 week scan as up til 8 weeks and 2 days in my mind anything could happen im booking a private scan at 10 weeks tho just 2 make sure bean is ok


also ate food today and toileting started again is this a preggo thing cause i wont be happy if it keeps it up

 

[PerpetualMama]

i only lost 1 but had 4 healthy boys and i cant help but think thats my girl that went the thing that hit me most was i was 8 weeks 2 days and i just couldn't get out of my head that it had a hb and then it stopped it had developed then had stopped all the time thinking it because it was a girl i had really bad ms and migraines with that one and was fine with all my boys except for the odd bleed

all my boys was concieved in nov and so was my mc but this one in may prob dont make a difference but thought id add it

i think ill be ok when i get 2 my 12 week scan as up til 8 weeks and 2 days in my mind anything could happen im booking a private scan at 10 weeks tho just 2 make sure bean is ok


also ate food today and toileting started again is this a preggo thing cause i wont be happy if it keeps it up

yeah my bathroom habits are a bit increased and "off" with the pregnancy.

I had a successful pregnancy (DS 5) with DH, so I also assumed my mc was a girl. like maybe he can't create healthy girls? Kind of hoping this is a boy just for that reason :/. Ex DH produced 3 beautiful girls and a son with me so I know I can carry both. I started factoring all things into my mc, all my other kids plus myself and DH were born in even years, mc was due in an odd year just like this one. I am sure this all really has nothing to do with it, but I'm a bit...neurotic...wondering what ifs and whys and hows etc. I try not to put too much weight into the things that are likely all in my head and coincidences. Coincidently we have days of the month of 8,9,10,11, and 13...then 24 and 26 so it'd be great to have a 12 or 25 to fill the gaps . Ex hubby was a 12 and I usually count him, but it'd be a trip to have this one on his birthday Feb 12!

 

[LilyLee]

OMG OMG OMG I just came back from my follow up scan and THEY FOUND A BABY!!! Measuring right on track at 7w3d and a healthy heartbeat! Apparently it was just right up against the side of the sack and couldn't be seen last week. I am in shock. Even at the start of the appt he was saying they weren't expecting to see anything. I am in such shock I just can't believe it! So so so happy! He said it was a beautiful pregnancy!

Now I need to catch up on all the posts I've missed in the last week! So good to be back!!!

 

[AllMacsNow]

Congrats, Lily, I am SO happy for you! I've been thinking a lot about you this week.

That is so great!

 

[Blue eyes 81]

Congrats lily!
That is awesome news.

 

[LilyLee]

If there's anyone I haven't added to the front page can you quickly post your EDD for me and I'll update xx

 

[NT123]

Omg that is amazing honey I'm so happy for you! my EDD has changed to 15/2. Xx

 

[GlitterandBug]

Lily - that is fantastic news!! You must be so happy!

 

[Wiggler]

Thats brilliant news Lily x x x

 

[Mrskg]

Congrats lily x can you add me for 20/2 please x

I also believe my losses might be a gender thing I have 3 girls I'm wondering if my losses were boys they were on Chinese calendar I I think I conceived close to ov x this time Chinese calendar says girl an we dtd 3 days before ov so really hoping this be any is a sticky girl xx

 

[hope88]

Congrats lily so happy for you hope you have a healthy 9 months. my edd is 8th feb.

 

[Diamonddust]

OMG OMG OMG I just came back from my follow up scan and THEY FOUND A BABY!!! Measuring right on track at 7w3d and a healthy heartbeat! Apparently it was just right up against the side of the sack and couldn't be seen last week. I am in shock. Even at the start of the appt he was saying they weren't expecting to see anything. I am in such shock I just can't believe it! So so so happy! He said it was a beautiful pregnancy!

Now I need to catch up on all the posts I've missed in the last week! So good to be back!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG Lilly I am simply OVER THE MOON for you