Paranoia at its finest.

[Sparklestar]

Hey guys

well i had a mmc last year i was 14+6 when i started bleeding a little and the baby had died at 12+4. We had been trying since aug06. i had a d and c and 4 days after i was rushed back into hospital as i passed the baby from the waist down, they hadn't done the first op properly. anyway, i thoguht i was over that and getting pg again would fix it well it hasn't i am super paranoid. signed off work due to sickness and not sleeping i must be up 8-9 times a night checking my pants, only thing is 4 days into my sicknote and im not being sick anymore! is this because i'm off and more relaxed or cuz somethings wrong? i didnt' quite realise i was as scarred as i am....this time i'm (and this might sound weird) not as scared of losing the baby but of what i might see if it comes out, like last time it was so traumatic and i was so frightened.

sorry if that makes no sense. xxxxx

 

[MrsRoughton]

just wanted to give you a big hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[biteable]

Hey hun,welcome to the paranoia club,i like you had a mmc and it has totaly tainted this pregnancy,im seriously debating paying for a private scan altho you may get one from your doc 4 reassurance reasons,i have had a sucessful pregnancy since my mmc but that still doesnt make it any easier for me,thinking of you x

 

[Sparklestar]

i've had 3 scans already lol and eveythings fine, but the silly cow said 'although its fine now, its heart could stop in 10 mins'. now that has made me worse. aaarrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[biteable]

yea if they had the slightest idea of what it feels like...prephaps theyd think b4 they speak,like i said a scan helps but doesnt take away all the worry maybe it will get easier after you pass the 15 wk stage but tht must seem like an eternity away i found out at 9wks my baby passed ova at 7+ wks but took till i was 10 wks to pass it naturaly so i dnt want a scan till im passed the 9 wks stage n i spose honestly im scared they may tell me somethings wrong,roll on 12 wks 4 me,but i spose everyday is 1 closer,hold in there hunni xx

 

[Sparklestar]

i'll start to chill at 13 weeks when ive had my 5th scan lol, got my 4th at 11 weeks that like 3 weeks away!! OMG!! i'm so stressed! xxxx

 

[Drazic<3]

What a horrible thing to say! You poor sweetheart. Honestly hun, my heart goes out to you. As I posted in my thread, I think we have a lot of similar issues. I lost my last bubs at 10 weeks, and had a medical ERPC. As terrified as I am of losing the baby, I know I literally cannot cope with going through that again. I was not prepared for the blood, for what seeing the baby would be like. I won't upset you but my baby was damaged too and it haunts me constantly.

I actually was thinking I might have some kind of post-traumatic stress episode and maybe you have similar. What you have been through is the hight of traumatic and being pregnant again is the ultimate trigger for that stress. All I can say hun are words which have comforted me - each and every pregnancy is different - having an MMC doesn't mean you are more likely to have another.

I won't tell you not to stress because I know it's about as effective as a chocolate teapot. All I will say is if you need a friend please PM me anytime. Maybe we can support each other through it.

As for the sickness, mine peaked early in week 8 and has now gone to virtually nothing. I also have had periods of no sickness then it pops back up again after a few days. Being totally cynical, remember - it takes a long time for symptoms to go after MMC and what is normal is for them to peak and decline as the hormone levels equal out.

Sending so much love. It makes me so sad to think of you feeling like I do.

 

[Sparklestar]

Drazic, you can PM me whenever you like too. You should take your own advice

It makes me sad that anyone else has been through what i have! Much love xxxx

 

[im_mi]

i've had 3 scans already lol and eveythings fine, but the silly cow said 'although its fine now, its heart could stop in 10 mins'. now that has made me worse. aaarrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

for SERIOUS???? I cannot believe that someone would bloody say that to someone. Im completely shocked and furious on your behalf.

So sorry you are going through this xxxxx

 

[Sparklestar]

yep for serious she didn't say it in a bad way or a nasty way but the words still came out lol xxxx

 

[Drazic<3]

I know babes I know! So easy to say it and know it's 100% true - much harder to accept it!