Parenting Methods

[asacia]

I've been reading up on a few parenting methods, and wondered what everyone thinks of them?

I'm really taken with the contiuum-concept, and was shocked when my Mum told me she used that with me! Wonder if that is why I like the idea of it.

I don't like the Ferber method, 'Cry It Out' just doesn't sound right to me.

What methods have you looked into? Which ones do you like or dislike the idea of?

(This is more sort of theory, Its not very easy to follow a method completely, but the CC just seems to 'fit' with what I'm planning to do)

 

[nikkip75]

i dont know if you watched a programme on the 3 types of methods earlier in the year but they done the contiuum-concept and while i thought it was really good i dont think i could do it. im more the 60s method, baby next to us is the cot, fed on demand, let others help etc, its just a bit more relaxed i think.

i would NEVER do the 50s method, baby left outside to sleep in the day, left to cry it out, fed on a routine, no cuddling, hold baby at arms length when feeding! how can you do that to a little baby!!!

i suppose each to their own tho, but goodluck if you do decide on the contiuum-concept, it looks great and i can imagine it would make your baby very close to you. x

 

[asacia]

My Nan used the 50's method with my Dad. She used to leave him in the pram in the garden!

 

[Cariad_bach]

Ive never looked into or used any particular method....

...ive always followed my heart,
Followed my instincts,
And judged each situation on its own methods.



Nothing works for everyone all the time, sometimes baby's just cry and dont need fussing over, sometimes babies really need your love and reassurance, just do what your heart tells you.

I know alot of mums that have driven themselves mad listening to their baby cry and feeling like they couldn't hold their baby's because they weren't allowed....i think that's such a shame,
On the other side my friend tried to hold her baby 24/7 and never let it make a sound....she ended up depressed

You will know your baby better than anyone and i really believe you will know what to do better than some book xxxxxxx

 

[Arcanegirl]

Im just going to go with the flow and do what i need to as the time arises.

 

[elm]

We're going with the Continuum Concept, well our interpretation of it anyway (not sure what that interpretation will be properly til we put it in practice though!!). I've read the Liedloff book and it makes sense to me and as we're living on a boat the co-sleeping and baby wearing fit with the practicalities of lack of space. We're going to be flexible about it and if something isn't working we're open to changing things.

I've also read 'Diaper Free Baby' which seems to fit well with the CC - so going to try those methods too (if you haven't heard of it it's where you recognise when your baby wants to go to the toilet and take them instead of waiting til they soil themselves - don't know if it'll be practical but won't do any harm to try it and if it works it'll save LO lots of discomfort and save lots of nappies!). If you're baby wearing anyway it's easier to recognise the signs that your baby wants to go to the toilet.

The CC is the only method I can see myself using at the moment, I don't see it as being an instruction manuel but more of a philosophy that fits with my instincts and what I feel is the right thing to do (think that's the point of it ).

 

[pinkmac85]

We are just going with whatever works at the time! I think it's hard for me and my OH to sit down and use one method over the other, every situation is different. So for now I think just go with the flow works for us.

 

[baby D]

Hmmm, i havn't come across these terms before - would anyone be kind enough to give me a brief outline on what the methods stand for? I will of course google them too for extra info xx

 

[mummymadness]

I had every great intention of using a good menthod .
But once my first little angel was passed to me on my bare chest , All great intentions went out the window lol .
I knew i would spoil her , And she would get her own way .
And yep 3 years on god is little girl full of big girl attitude lol , I have now learnt allot of lessons , And dont have a method as such , I just try learn my babies patterns when there cry is just for attention and when baby is in need .
I guess ever one parents n different ways .
Good luck hun with wich ever way you decide . xxxxx .

 

[helen1234]

mine will be an instinct way too, do what feels best at the time, listen to baby crying and finding out what they want and need. baby will sleep with us in his moses till he's practically sleeping through, and i'll use a mixture of techniques, baby will go out in the pram once a day for fresh air but i will be pushing it. i'll keep to routine as much as possible, bath same time put to bed same time etc ...
i wont have him in my bed i did that with rosie and it made sleeping rubbish when she got bigger then it was a pain getting her in her own room so i learnt my lesson on that one, she'd be in my bed now i swear lol

i think very often the baby will lead whatever you do.

i love the idea of diaper free elm, i can only see me doing it a day and when i'm covered in wee 25 times a day i'd soon stick a nappy on as they wee loads and loads and loads lol

 

[Hevz]

Dunno what category I'm in. Here's some of the things I've done with my others


Breastfed on demand

Didn't accept any help from others (maybe that one was silly)

Baby slept next to us in crib for about 7months and then went in own room i a cot

No "real" routine, babies all seemed to find their own patterns for feeding, sleepinf etc when a few months old

Daytime naps usually in a smaller crib downstairs and nearby but if fallen asleep in buggy I park buggy up in the garden or in porch and put a blanket over them

Controlled crying when baby was older and had previously slept through (ie; if baby woke, we would go and lie baby back down, say goodnight and leave the room, wait for 5mins and do the same again, leave for 10mins and repeat if necessary, each time leaving an extra 5 mins.....it seems a bit harsh but we never got to 20mins and it worked within a day or two every time)


Sooooooooo....dunno what my concept is.....go with the flow I guess

 

[elm]

i love the idea of diaper free elm, i can only see me doing it a day and when i'm covered in wee 25 times a day i'd soon stick a nappy on as they wee loads and loads and loads lol

I'm not seeing it as not putting a nappy on at all - just recognising when something is about to happen and whipping it off / when I'm changing him I'll hold him over something and do a cueing sound so that he learns to assoiciate the sound with using the toilet. I'm not planning on being constantly covered in wee!!! x

 

[helen1234]

i love the idea of diaper free elm, i can only see me doing it a day and when i'm covered in wee 25 times a day i'd soon stick a nappy on as they wee loads and loads and loads lol

I'm not seeing it as not putting a nappy on at all - just recognising when something is about to happen and whipping it off / when I'm changing him I'll hold him over something and do a cueing sound so that he learns to assoiciate the sound with using the toilet. I'm not planning on being constantly covered in wee!!! x

ah right i understand now, so its a learning thing... i got visions of you walking aound and baby peeing and running off to the toilet and hovering them over quick to the lav. i suppose its worth a go although all medical science say a baby doesnt physically know till at least two 1/2 dry day and nite, as the brain and bladder don't connect, same principle as breathing and swallowing at the same time doesnt switch off till yr old, but science is alway being proved wrong isnt it, and people who have tried, tested and swear by it have got a valid point think of all the money you save if it works
x

 

[elm]

Hope we're not taking over the thread too much but... according to the book (and that's the only place I've got any info from haven't looked into it beyond that) babies are born recognising when they're going to go to the toilet and give signs (like wriggling or crying or whatever) when these are ignored they gradually lose the ability to recognise they need to go so have to relearn it when they're potty trained.

I've not got any experience so I'm not saying that it's right and as I said haven't looked at the science - just thought it was worth a go, especially when you take the nappy off and they aim at you - he'll be hovering over something then xxx

 

[FsMummy]

i let faith sleep in the garden in her pram sometimes, i dont see anything wrong with it. we r in a flat so dnt have a garden. i only do it wen im round my mum's house which is once a week. my neices are so loud it really annoys me and my sis doesnt control them and she shouts and they all wake faith up so i just wrap her up warm (i wouldnt put her out there at this time of year by the way) and put her in her footmuff and i put the pram right outside the door. i never leave the room either i sit on the sofa in the dining room where im only a few metres from the door and can c her perfectly. does everyone think this is bad? i thought it was nice for her to get the fresh air while shes out there sleeping and i dnt have to worry about anyone waking her up. if she still naps nxt year then ill do it then too and i will with the new baby (i never done it with faith wen newborn its only been since shes about 18 months).

 

[Shifter]

I'll have a look at CC I think, but I'm definitely of the opinion that no one method is going to work all of the time. You have to be flexible.

I do think that sometimes babies just need to cry it out though and they also need to learn (when they are a bit older) that crying doesn't always get them what they want. It's a case of learning to recognise different types of cry and responding accordingly.

We're also going to try the diaper-free method.

 

[Dona]

I've been recommended to read the book called 'The contended Little Baby, by Gina Ford' by so many people with Kids. They say that following her method of strict routine is very good. I am going to give it a go. x

 

[Dukechick]

I'm sure hubby and I will do things different all the time, but I did get a great piece of advice from my mom about bed time. She said that when she put me down to sleep (with my soother), waited for me to sleep, then took it away right away. That way whenever I woke up during the night, I wouldn't start crying because I didn't have my soother to suck on.

Another thing, my cousin has a baby (a year and a few months), and she still doesn't sleep through the night because they get up every single time she wakes up crying, and sometimes brings her into bed with them. Her baby has them wrapped around her little fingers!!

 

[massacubano]

Im just going to go with the flow and do what i need to as the time arises.

This is what I do... no books just common sense.

 

[nikkip75]

i let faith sleep in the garden in her pram sometimes, i dont see anything wrong with it. we r in a flat so dnt have a garden. i only do it wen im round my mum's house which is once a week. my neices are so loud it really annoys me and my sis doesnt control them and she shouts and they all wake faith up so i just wrap her up warm (i wouldnt put her out there at this time of year by the way) and put her in her footmuff and i put the pram right outside the door. i never leave the room either i sit on the sofa in the dining room where im only a few metres from the door and can c her perfectly. does everyone think this is bad? i thought it was nice for her to get the fresh air while shes out there sleeping and i dnt have to worry about anyone waking her up. if she still naps nxt year then ill do it then too and i will with the new baby (i never done it with faith wen newborn its only been since shes about 18 months).

no i think its fine to let little one sleep outside on a nice day, although i said i didnt agree with the 50s method of sleeping outside i just meant that on this tv programme the baby was put outside in the middle of winter, well wrapped yes but even if the baby was crying it was left out there to cry, the babys mum was in tears and just wanted to go out there to her babies but the silly woman wouldnt let her!
i used to always put daisy outside in our garden in the summer asleep in her playpen for her afternoon nap and would be sitting close by having a nice cup of tea with my feet up!