Pick up put down?

[Starlight32]

Sorry if I'm driving everyone crazy with all my sleep questions.

I rocked or nursed my baby to sleep until she was 12 weeks old. Then I started laying her down in her crib at bedtime and she got herself to sleep without any problems (for a week and a half).

She's almost 14 weeks and the past 2 nights have been so difficult. She seems wide awake, then cries, and so on. I've tried to pick up put down these past two nights (waited until she was crying, picked up and rocked a bit, then put her back down). It's taken about 2 hours this night and last night for her to get to sleep finally.

Does anyone else do pick up put down or have in the past? Two hours seemed like a really long time...

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Your baby is still so young, this sounds perfectly normal. In the early months, whatever got my baby to sleep was okay with me, even if it was nursing to sleep or rocking them to sleep.

That being said I don't use the pick-up put-down technique, mainly because no form of sleep training has worked for me and LO and two hours does seem like a long time to try to put a baby to sleep.

Babies when they are learning new skills often go through periods of regression and progression. So I'd say keep at it and if it gets to be too long (maybe an hour, fifteen minutes of trying this) then do whatever you can to get baby to sleep.

Hang in there mama you're doing just fine, baby is just having a bit of a hard time right now

 

[staralfur]

A baby that young needing assistance to fall asleep is really very common. Unfortunately sleep isn't linear, especially at that age, so having a short period of time where she falls asleep on her own doesn't mean that's the new normal.

I did try PUPD with my LO but she was 10 months old and it was way more stressful for both of us than just sticking with nursing would have been. Honestly my life became a lot easier once I stopped stressing about my LO's sleep. I know it's easier said than done and it's tough to stick it out when you're exhausted but I know that for me personally the exhaustion was made so much worse by trying to force my LO to sleep on her own for a period of time that she just wasn't developmentally ready for.

If nursing/rocking worked before then I would just stick with that. I definitely think there comes a time when needing help to go to sleep becomes more habit than necessity but I don't think that's the usually the case for babies as young as yours.

 

[Zephram]

I think PUPD is one of the worst sleep training techniques and it just horribly confuses the poor babies.

I agree with Staralfur that your baby is to young to have formed sleep habits. If she needs help getting to sleep, just help her and don't worry about it. The expectation in western society that babies shouldn't be helped in this way gives massive stress to parents.

 

[minties]

What Zephram said. It was a useless technique with my other kids and I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. How confusing to be picked up then put down again the second you start to feel warm happy and a reassured! Shh-pat was also useless, not that you asked but it's another popular one that bewildered my babies.

I can tell you that none of the things I did with my elder two as babies are still in use, I don't believe that helping an infant to sleep makes for any habits (bad or good!). Their sleep is so variable and each stage brings it's own challenges.

If a baby is crying, it needs you, simple as that for me. They are small for such a TINY amount of time - you'll look back on it wistfully one day - enjoy the snuggles.

 

[MindUtopia]

I would do what's easy and works. There's no point causing either of you all this stress and spending 2 hours with bedtime when you could do whatever it is she actually needs to help her fall asleep with no stress and much faster. I'd feed, rock, cuddle her to sleep or lie down next to her if you can. At that age, we had only just started every having our daughter sleep apart from us in the evening (up til 14 weeks she was fed and went in the wrap or on one of our chests to sleep until we went to bed ourselves and then she went in her co-sleeper cot next to me, so was always with us). At 14 weeks, we started to put her to bed upstairs while we stayed downstairs until our bedtime, and feeding, cuddling, lying next to her to get her to sleep worked great. It meant we had our evenings and bedtimes were stress-free and quick. I did that as long as it worked, and then at around 10 months, she started to happily fall asleep on her own being put down awake. It happened on its own when it was time and we never had to do anything to make it happen. No bad sleep habits here and we've never done any sleep training. She's 3.5 now (I know that's a long way away) and sleeps through and it's all really easy. Just do what works and doesn't cause either of you any stress for now.

 

[laila 44]

I agree that it's the worst. Almost torture to be honest. I've always preferred some crying as opposed to pick up and put down. It only confuses a baby and my dr actually told me it was better to let them cio for a bit rather than go in and upset them even further.

 

[Starlight32]

Thanks ladies. I have to remember sleep changes every day! She seemed to rather like going to sleep on her own for that week or so but she has a right to change her mind each night. I'm going to try to relax more and take cues from her. Just so hard when sleepy to think straight.

 

[CRWx]

for you! Sleep is hard, especially with a young baby.

PUPD just confused my DD (the twice I tried it by accident... Did more harm than good!) it really upset her and I've found its easier to let her have a cry (never for long) if anything. xxx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

14 weeks is when a sleep disruption hits. Comfort and calm I say x

 

[jessmke]

I tried PUPD once and it was a nightmare. She became absolutely hysterical and was then afraid of her crib. The entire next day if I so much as walked towards her crib she would cling to me and start crying. I would never recommend this method.

 

[Sunnie1984]

It's baby specific.

My DD did not really want to be held to sleep, even when sick she wanted a cuddle and would squirm to be put down, so we did pick up put down without planning to ad that was how she liked it.

My DS wanted to be cuddled to sleep and couldn't be transferred until he was sound asleep. At 14 months I put him in his cot and lay down next to it, and he went to sleep after a few minutes. He slept through the night at around that time and had no problem putting himself to sleep.

I don't think sleep training is necessary with a baby. By all means get them to sleep in their own bed at night (ours never slept in our bed) but don't worry about how they get to sleep, they'll get there eventually

Agree with 14 weeks being nightmare sleep time - try reading the wonder weeks.

She'll settle back to normal soon x

 

[Starlight32]

Thanks ladies. It wasn't really intentional to do PUPD... Just happened because I out her in crib like I had been, then she wanted to be picked up, and I knot putting her down after calming, she was fine fiord a bit but then the cycle continued. I've been lucky the past few days and she's settled herself to sleep after putting her in crib. Every night is different!

 

[Gem_Clem]

I find my DD2 is like that too, no 2 nights are the same! but I can say from experience with DD1, she always fell asleep in my arms when I fed her and i'd put her down asleep then at 9 months when she refused bottles and started drinking milk from nuby cup at night, i thought she'd be a nightmare to get to sleep but she went straight down in her cot awake and went off to sleep herself everynight, so don't believe that if you rock/feed them to sleep when little that they won't self soothe, its rubbish, every baby is different. I can also remember a few weeks every month or so, she wouldn't go to sleep as easy or would wake, think it was just growth spurts etc and would go back to normal

 

[JumpingIn]

PUPD was the biggest heap of poo ever. It was stressful for me and for baby. My only success came months later by using a gentle version of CC but your little one is a bit young for that so I would soldier on and do what I did in a few months